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Summary:
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Part One. N00b Status.
1. What was your childhood like?
I was born at Seattle Mercy Hospital on May 15, 1982 to Melinda Bethany Peck and Andrew Peck. I lived at a Palatial Estate near Whistler, British Columbia and learned to ski and snowboard fairly early on.
My formative years were spent being tutored by the best in the world, I quickly excelled at all math and science and developed an appreciation for designing and building machines. Before age eight, I was sending rockets up and building spy drones much to the chagrin of my parents. My mother died when I turned 12 in a plane crash. Sabotage was suspected. My father never recovered and drank himself into a stupor.
During my teenage years I developed a fondness for Parkour and trained my skills in that area for years. I graduated Summa Cum Laude from MIT when I was 14 and received my Master’s in Mechanical Engineering at 16. Since my 18th birthday, I’ve been spending a lot of time travelling, never staying in one city for too long. My father’s death came after I turned 21. The sodding fool tripped and fell down the staircase at his estate in Washington.
2. What Meteorological Phenomenon are you?
The calm before the storm. I’d prefer to stay out of direct conflict, but when its unavoidable I will take measures to ensure that I win, at whatever the cost. By hook or by crook, I will prevail.
3. What is(are) your most prized possession(s)? What makes it(them) so special?
A diamond ring, that I keep on a platinum necklace around my neck. It belonged to my fiancée, before she was killed in the 9/11 attacks. She was visiting a friend in the North Tower when American Airlines Flight 11 crashed into it. I hear her death was instantaneous. Small comfort, that.
4. Do you know any songs? What kind? How did you learn them?
My favorite Violin concerto is Tchaikovsky’s D minor Op 35. I learned it a long time ago, tutored by a European gentleman who’s name I cannot recall. I know many Piano sonatas, by Chopin, Beethoven and Mozart. These days, I tend to enjoy a more modern selection, ranging from Fatboy Slim, to Kelly Clarkson.
5. Have you ever been in love? With who? What happened? If not, why not?
Once, when I was 24. We met in Paris, her name was Jacquelyn St. Claire. She died in the 9/11 attacks. I had proposed to her only a few days before, she was visiting her friends who worked at the Meryll Lynch office in North Tower to tell them the good news and show off the ring.
6. If you were going somewhere special that you wanted to look your best for, what would you do to prepare? What would you wear? How long would it take you to get ready?
I would get a high quality hair cut by my personal stylist, and get my Armani Black Suit with Grey silk tie ready. Mani/Pedi combo with my haircut and it would probably take me a few hours to get ready.
7. What will you do for next birthday?
Snowboarding at Whistler with some friends! The experience will be crowned off with various snow bunnies I will have met on the slopes and a hot tub party in my private suite commanding a view of the eastern slopes.
8. What are your worst fears? Why?
I don’t ever want to be alone. My parents are dead, and the one person I loved more than anything is gone forever.
9. Which historical figure do you look up to the most? Why?
Nietzsche, God is dead, and there’s nothing we can do about it.
10. When would you decide to retire? Where would you settle down at? What would you do?
Retire? My entire life is a game, with the fate of the multiverse in the balance. I won’t even retire when I’m dead. If I were a normal human, I might settle down in Tokyo and spend my days playing video games and ogling the Japanese Schoolgirls.
11. If you had theme music, what would it sound like?
Carmina Burana by Carl Orff, more specifically the part O Fortuna. You’ve heard it, even if you don’t know the title.
12. Describe your ambition. What makes you want it so bad that you would risk your life for it?
Knowledge is power. I want it all. Money is nothing to me, I could make it doing anything with my skills. I must know everything, and I will sacrifice all life on this world to obtain it if necessary. After all, I can just rebuild it all when I have all knowledge, right?
13. Do the ends justify the means?
Always. I don’t believe I need to elaborate further.
Part Two. No longer a girl, not quite a woman.
14. As you grow, how do you think your Ambition will evolve?
Knowledge may be power, but I’ve come to notice that it may not be the ends into of itself. I WILL gain knowledge, but whether it will be all knowledge, or a more narrow focus is yet to be determined. There is so much to learn out there. Perhaps I will need to find a way to extend my life first, or to eliminate aging as a factor. 80-100 years aren’t nearly enough, and the way things are going, I may not even survive to 30!
15. If you could meet any fictional character (TV, books, comics, etc.) which one would you choose? Why?
Darth Vader. I can appreciate his take-no-prisoners approach to life. And I understand his pain at losing the love of his life.
16. Chocolate or vanilla? Why?
Vanilla. There’s nothing very deep about this answer. Simply because Vanilla tastes better, and damnit, I’m white!
17. How do you feel about spirituality? Are you religious? What do you believe?
Really? Like an imaginary father figure is ever going to help me in my life. Religion has caused more trouble than it was ever worth. Spirituality is all well and good. As long as it doesn’t evolve into Religion. I’m an Atheist. Not because I don’t believe in Gods or Magic, but because even if they do exist, they wouldn’t care about insects such as we so why should we worship them? Good and Evil are outdated mannerisms that we cloak our actions in. They don’t mean anything. People need to get over it.
18. What could inspire you to dance? How would you describe your style?
Music, Love, hell, even food. I enjoy the Ballroom classics, the Cha-Cha, Tango, Waltz. Swing dancing is definitely something I have fun with these days. Nothing like a fast beat and flailing appendages!
19. What would you consider selling your soul for?
If there is such a thing, and I do believe that there is, I wouldn’t give it up for anything. The soul defines who we are inside. Without it, we’re nothing but empty shells. Come to think of it, a lot of Americans these days look like zombies…..hmmm.
20. What would your aura look like (if someone were to be able to see such a thing)?
Dark grey, with flickering red highlights I figure. I care only about myself and my pursuits. And I’m willing to destroy others to achieve my goals. I’m a generally dark person.
21. What do you try hardest to keep secret?
That maybe I don’t really know as much as I’d like you to think I do.
22. Provide a personal opinion on each of the High Rollers in your Region? Do you get along?
Sissy, she’s a cute nature-loving girl who has immense inner-potential. I don’t quite understand her abilities, but I think she’s mentioned Ancestor Spirits aiding her. To each their own I suppose. I’m not big on nature itself but I do appreciate the science behind the beauty. We get along, maybe because we started out on this journey together.
Gaylen, a….Gypsy? I’m not sure why I hang out with all these Mystic types, but I have to admit they do grow on you. And their skills are very useful to say the least. I like him, he’s rich like me and he’s ambitious.
Antonio Romanov. Now there’s an interesting person. Doesn’t have two neurons to rub together to form a cogent thought, but his outward beauty is so damned powerful. How could I not love him?
Rajhad…..Creepy fellow. I don’t think I’ll want him watching my back. His skills are definitely useful, but I don’t particularly feel comfortable whenever he’s in the vicinity. I have a feeling he wants to eat me…..
Corolino, met the bastard a couple times I believe. Crazy as all get out. We haven’t worked together enough for me to form much of an opinion one way or the other. Plus, I don’t really like drugs.
Laurent….Wow. Impressive indeed. I think I’ll hide behind him when the apocalypse comes. His martial arts skills have saved my hide at least once.
Sgt. Slaughter. I like cyborgs. Why? Because they’re damn cool. He could come in handy in more ways than one. Maybe I can even reprogram him to serve me…..heheh.
Mr. X/Smith/Bosche/Whatever…. I enjoy his company. He's a man about town, always knows what he wants, and can't resist the urge to take it when he wants. I can appreciate this kind of mentality, the whole weak self control thing could also go in my favor should I choose to exploit it…..Also, X has abilities that make him very useful, I believe we can come to an accord on certain issues and work together when it benefits us mutually. I like thieves, they are a very entertaining lot, and it reminds me that even if you don't possess something, you can always get it…..somehow.
Sascha? Met her maybe twice I believe? I like highly skilled women, especially highly skilled women with arsenals that put the Military to shame. I might have to procure a few items from her at some point in the future. It's good to maintain contacts.
23. What kind of things can make you angry? Why?
Someone telling me what to do, or threatening me. I can’t take that kind of disrespect. My decisions are my own and they are always the best!
24. How do feel about democracy as a form of government?
It’s the best we’ve got. Which isn’t saying much. But until humanity figures out a better way to do things, I guess it’s here to stay. The corruption is useful to me anyways, so I’d like it to hang out for a while at least.
25. What is your favorite food? How often do you eat it?
Pizza, nothing like a triple thick crust with extra cheese and pepperoni to hit the spot. I have this particular treat a few times a week.
26. What do you dream about? Why do you think you have those dreams?
I haven’t dreamt anything in years….come to think of it, I stopped dreaming after Jackie died. If I do have dreams I don’t remember them. I’d have to see a shrink to figure out why this is so, but if I were to venture a guess, I’m still not over certain events in my life and I can’t even dream about them without blocking it all out.
Part Three They grow up so fast *sniffle*
27. What is your beverage of choice? Why?
St. Magdalene Scotch, nothing beats the smoothness and the flavor splashing across the tongue than this perfectly aged and developed liquor.
28. Do you believe in aliens from outer space? Do you think they have come to Earth? Why?
Yes, I’ve seen enough to know that the tiny amount of general human knowledge is woefully inadequate.
29. Describe someone from your family in detail (and family doesn't end at blood). What did they look like? What were they good at? What was his or her personality like? How often did you see this person?
Jackie was the perfect woman, thick dark brown hair cascading down to her perfect perky breasts. And legs to the sky, man! Her ice blue eyes captivated me every time I stared into them and her full lips hinted at even more. She excelled in gymnastics and business. Her acumen earned her the respect of the male-dominated computer tech industry early on. Her personality was bubbly and she was always happy and ready to brighten the mood in a room just by walking in. I was with her constantly as much as I could, until she was taken from me by those bastard towel-heads.
30. Describe a typical Sunday morning.
The Wall Street Journal in my lap and a cigar in one hand and a glass of scotch in the other in front of a large fireplace in some random major city in the world.
31. If you were an animal, what kind would you be? Why?
A bat. Stealthy and unseen, they are one of the more perfect predators. I prefer to be behind the scenes or at least watching from an unassailable position with the option to intervene should it be necessary.
32. What are your political views?
You’re kidding, right? There’s no point! Whomever cannot be bought must be made to see reason or die. That’s it!
33. Describe the perfect room.
Chilled to a perfect 45 degrees, racks of servers to the horizon churning away at all the data in the multiverse.
34. What attracts you? Do you have anyone "on your radar"?
Beauty, and brains. I want it all. Jackie fit this mold perfectly. And I will never find the like again. Nobody’s on my radar currently. I’m not interested. I prefer the one night stand or the purchased variety of love these days.
35. Where do you get your news? What topics are of interest to you?
The flow of information from the global networks and satellite feeds are all my playthings. Right now, I’m interested in keeping an eye on political hotspots that I might be able to exploit to my advantage. War, Famine, Disease, Technology. These are a few of my favorite things.
36. Magic or science? Why?
Science, always. Magic may be powerful indeed, but energy is energy, no matter how it is created.
37. Is there anything that you are irrational about?
Infidelity ticks me off, people who don’t honor deals made, betrayal in general I think is my big hot button issue.
38. What is your sex life like?
Heh. I can afford the best and the most beautiful. And they do whatever I want, whenever I want it.
39. Define what is evil to you. (Min. three paragraphs)
Evil is betrayal, promises made but not kept, the wandering lover, the best friend who doesn’t tell you the truth….What evil is to me is not what evil is to you. Some would consider me evil, because I will do whatever it takes to get what I want. Or maybe because I have money to burn. I consider those who betray to be evil. I understand why it might be necessary, but only as it applies to me. Besides, when I turn against a former comrade it isn’t because I’m betraying them. I’m doing them a favor, they were weak, better that they be culled by the likes of me than the likes of the darkness our kind see every month or so.
The dark truth of It all is thus, there is no evil. There is no good. Debating the issue is a waste of time and resources. They are merely excuses used by the weak and stupid to perpetrate the ideals that they believe in. And to drive otherwise decent folk to heinous ends. If you disagree, you are wrong, and you will face this truth soon, how you deal with it will show me whether you are worth my time or not.
I hate the words, good and evil. There is no logic behind them. One day, I will help cleanse the world of these ignorant words. They will be nothing more than a fading memory, a legend, a myth that will eventually be forgotten in the shadows of past memory.
Part Four. The end? Or the beginning of the end?
40. What would you kill for? What would you die for?
There’s nothing I would die for. Not at this point in time. Once, I would have died for Jacqueline, but she’s gone now. Nothing else matters….However, I would kill to see her again. I would burn creation to cinders to see her again.
41. Describe any enemies or vendettas you have made. Who do you think considers you an enemy? Provide some detailed plans about how you intend to "settle the score".
I’ve been fortunate in this regard. I’m unaware of any vendetta class enemies in my Rogue’s Gallery as of yet. I’m keeping my eyes open, of course, because I know that the things I’ve seen mean I’ve probably got a skeleton or five in the basement somewhere just waiting for the power to go out….
42. Have you ever had a pet? What was it and how did you take care of it?
No way, too messy and annoying! When I was a child, there was a family dog that I never really got along with. I fed her a couple times and played catch, but inane activities such as these never keep my interest for long.
43. Where does your money come from? Where does it go?
Weapons development, stocks/bonds, illicit trading. It all goes into my gadgets and toys that I’m designing.
44. What purpose do you think the "Games" serve? Who is behind them? Why did they choose you?
To amuse the Powers that Be? Beings of such enormous potential and power that we don’t even rate much more as rats in a maze that they built and dumped us into. They chose me because I have the potential to be great, and besides maybe I can shake things up a bit.
45. If you were a vehicle, what kind would you be? Why?
A Maserati, elegant, fast, with smooth lines and high technology. Because they are simply the best luxury car out there and nothing beats them.
46. Do you do drugs? Which ones? How often? What about caffeine, alcohol and other everyday medications? Why?
Pfft, drugs cloud the mind, and a clouded mind is a weak mind susceptible to suggestion. Caffeine I enjoy in espresso form and well, a glass of scotch keeps the demons at bay.
47. Everyone excels at something. What is your philosophy about the thing you are best at?
Technology exists to elevate us above the dirt and grime that we came from. With it, we will rule the multiverse….or maybe just I will.
48. What comforts you when you are feeling sick for an extended period?
A laptop loaded with the latest video games and good old chicken noodle soup or the sinuses.
49. How do you feel about other races?
We’re all human, more or less. Color of skin and genetic codes can only go so far to describe someone. It is illogical to assume an African individual is inferior based on just their appearance. Appearances can be deceiving.
50. How do you feel about your mother? Would you defend her honor?
I loved her deeply, and I miss her so. If anybody should feel the need to dishonor her memory, I warn them, my vengeance will be swift, and may not directly involve the offending party.
51. Describe the room where you sleep most often.
My Leer Jet’s private cabin? 60’ LCD TV, King sized bed and a bar, natch.
52. Why?
Because…….I’m always right. And I always will be in the end. It will be mine. All of it. Just you wait and see…..
If you are reading this, I am dead. This document will serve as a record of who I was and why I did what I did. More importantly, it will provide incentive for you to avenge me. I have selected you to complete one of my life goals: The destruction of Pentex. This document provides part of the key to the location of a cache. If you have obtained this document legitimately, you already know the contents of the cache, and you will doubtless be more than willing to accomplish my revenge to obtain it. The other half of the key will be given to you once Pentex has been utterly destroyed.
I remember the womb.
The womb was dark and all-enveloping, but it was also comfortable and safe. From the first, I was aware there was a world outside; sound penetrated, as did certain other impressions. I was not aware that world was dangerous, though I would learn this soon enough, but I sensed that it was not yet time for me to explore it, so I bided with patience.
When the time came, I entered the world. For the first time, other people intruded on my existence. I was not pleased. They made demands on me, expected things of me, and contributed little; the process of learning and growing was interrupted by a thousand extraneous concerns. But I could not force them away, so I waited with increasing impatience for the time I could become self-sufficient.
From the beginning, the physical body fascinated me. I had not been greatly aware of my body in the womb, but as I grew I became increasingly aware of it, and wondered what it was. I began to study it, as best I could, and to study the differences between my body and that of other living things. Soon I grasped the concept of the mind, and realized that the mind controlled the body. I began seeking ways to learn about them.
The more I studied the mind and the body, the more I realized they were connected in a thousand subtle ways. I was fascinated by the workings of the mind and the body, and the intricate linkages between the two. I came to understand that it was not possible to achieve true mastery of either mind or body without gaining full understanding of those connections. Over time, I resolved to gain that understanding, and thereby achieve mental perfection. For such a prize, anything might be risked. Life itself would not be too much to pay for such mastery.
Distractions continued to hinder my studies. People made demands on my time without providing the understanding I sought. I learned to push them away, and to minimize their intrusions. When I entered elementary school, the problem increased; other children harassed me and sought to intimidate me, for a while. A short while. I soon learned they feared humiliation, and became quite practiced in inflicting it. I made no friends, but I became feared for my utter ruthlessness towards those who crossed me and for my sharp and merciless wit. Most bullies began to avoid me, and after one who persisted suffered a badly fractured leg in an unusual schoolyard accident, they learned to fear me. I soon taught the other children not to intrude. Some went so far as to run when they saw me on the playground. In truth, they were no concern of mine as long as they let me be, but I did nothing to reassure them.
I was never close to my parents, and had no siblings or other close relatives. My father was a middle manager with a small corporation. My mother was a housewife. I did not know them well. I suppose they were both good at what they did, though I paid little attention to such things; I had my own concerns. Fortunately, they soon realized I did not appreciate their interference in those concerns, and acceded to my desire to be left alone.
As I grew older, I slowly realized I had made a mistake. I could not be entirely self-sufficient; there would always be times when I needed other people. People could be useful. Moreover, I had quickly discovered that medicine was the key to understanding the interaction between mind and body, and to learn medicine, I needed to practice it. For that, I needed patients. Eventually, I would also need contacts and a good reputation (just as much as academic achievement) if I was to enter medical school.
But it was another realization that caused me to throw all my energy into a new approach. When I realized that all human bodies were not the same, my passion for understanding was redoubled. Male and female, child and adult, different races, social classes, ages: all were different. Indeed, no two bodies or minds were precisely the same. Comparing the differences provided a whole new avenue for study. Moreover, body and mind changed over time, so that understanding must be renewed; observation and study must be ongoing. The task was daunting, but the potential of all these avenues was intoxicating.
I began studying social interaction and human nature. I discovered that there were a variety of approaches to becoming popular. Warmth, compassion, and basic goodness was one route, though seldom followed, but it was too foreign to me. Another approach was to cultivate the perception of popularity; reality would soon shift to match perception. This, however, was no more appealing to me than the first approach. I found a third route which suited me better: I convinced my classmates I wanted to help them, but needed to maintain clinical detachment and devote all my time to study. I developed a practiced professional manner that inspired confidence and respect, and carefully cultivated a reputation for professionalism and willingness to help others. This approach was very successful, and by junior high I was the most respected student in Philadelphia.
I studied anything even vaguely related to medicine, and was constantly looking for ways to gain exposure to the practice of medicine and to the medical establishment. As early as grade school, it was clear to all that I was destined to be a doctor. I volunteered with any program or group that could provide me any type of medical training, from the Boy Scouts to the local animal shelter.
I also avidly accumulated favors — even from those who seemed unlikely to be of use to me, since I was a long-term planner by nature and firmly believed that it was impossible to predict who might turn out to be useful. Before I was done, almost every student owed me favors, even those who seemed of no possible use to my career.
In seeking a reason to help people without becoming close to them, I discovered the Hippocratic Oath. By condensing it to its core principal – to do no harm, but to help all in need – I was able to establish the purity of my motives and the importance of my studies, which could not be disturbed for trivial social activities. I gained respect without having to involve myself in frivolous personal friendships. This was particularly useful since I advanced quickly, graduating from high school at age 14 and earning my Bachelor of Science from Temple University at age 17, in 1990, just before the beginning of the first Gulf War.
I finished my final term of college a few weeks early and joined the military on my 17th birthday. The opportunity to practice medicine on the battlefield was too much to resist. I chose to enlist rather than seek a commission in order to get to Iraq as quickly as possible.
My parents were relieved when I entered the military, and signed permission without hesitation. I have not seen them since.
I served throughout the war as a combat medic. After the war, I was able to arrange for additional medical training, and participated in field studies of Gulf War Syndrome and the effects of chemical weapons exposure. I left the military when my 2-year enlistment expired in order to enter medical school.
After earning my MD at the University of Pennsylvania, I completed my internship and residency, and began practicing as a neurosurgeon in a Philadelphia hospital. For a time I found the work highly satisfying. Before long, however, I realized I was reaching a plateau. It was then that something happened that would change my life.
Just as I was beginning to wonder if I should change careers, I was approached by a nonprofit research organization called Project Odyssey that promised exactly what I wanted: the opportunity to attain new pinnacles of knowledge, unfettered by the constraints imposed by society. I joined eagerly, and threw myself into cutting-edge research. As I got to know other members of the project, and gained in experience, I became aware of elements of society of which I had previously been unaware, and I began to study the occult and the paranormal.
My work was interrupted by the events of September 11th, 2001. I sought and received permission from my superiors in Project Odyssey to join the Army. This time I accepted a commission and worked as a battlefield surgeon in Afghanistan. When the United States invaded Iraq, I was in the first wave.
After a year in Iraq, I pulled strings and arranged to return to Afghanistan. Upon completing my Afghan tour, I managed to avoid a return to the United States and was transferred to a much more interesting post in sub-Saharan Africa, where I studied tropical disease.
When I was no longer able to avoid returning to the United States, I accepted a discharge and returned to my position with Project Odyssey. For a time all went well; my studies in both medicine and the occult continued, and I felt I was making real progress in my quest to understand the mind and body. Eventually, however, I began to realize that all was not as it seemed. I began to pay attention to the work in which other researchers were engaged. I discovered that some research subjects were not volunteers, and some mysteriously disappeared. Worse, some of my coworkers were experimenting on children, with sometimes fatal results. My own projects had been aboveboard, but I knew this would not continue; it was already evident that Project Odyssey planned to gradually compromise me. And the organization's study of the occult was not as objective as I had believed. Where I saw the occult as simply another tool in achieving my ends, I came to learn that Project Odyssey (which I would later learn to be a branch of Pentex) saw it as an end in itself. Moreover, the organization was sloppy; it was inevitable that they would eventually be exposed. I concealed my contempt and began to look for a way to leave.
But leaving was not so easy. Time passed, and I realized there was no way to make a clean exit. I considered my options and decided that if I could not leave quietly, I might as well take as much as possible with me. I managed to transfer a large sum of money to a secret account, but failed to do so undetected. When I realized I would be unable to retrieve the funds, I transferred them to a rival organization, hoping to distract attention while I made my escape. It didn't work. The transfer went through, but Pentex was not distracted. I barely escaped with my life.
That was not the end of the matter, of course. I knew quite a bit that could damage Project Odyssey. Pentex has been hunting me ever since.
Fortunately, I had prepared carefully, and the new identity I had purchased was robust enough to cover my tracks for a time. I began drifting around the country, working most often as an emergency room surgeon or an emergency room physician, but working at times in any medical profession I could find. I determined to make a virtue of necessity and learn as many different specialties as I could.
And so it went. Several times Pentex almost caught up with me and I made my escape by the thinnest of margins. I was beginning to get desperate when I was approached by a man in a black suit.
Thus beginning a new chapter in my life … .
For now, I accept the role of the hunted. For now, I go to great lengths to hide in the shadows and avoid Pentex's agents. In time, however, I will be ready to strike. When I do, I will destroy Pentex's power in a single blow.
Once I have acquired the necessary abilities, my first step will be to learn everything there is to know about Pentex. I will draw this information directly from the minds of its top executives. It may be necessary to place agents in strategic positions within the company; the ability to sow confusion and slow Pentex's response at the key moment will be critical.
When my preparations are complete, I will launch a massive strike against all of Pentex's assets simultaneously. The primary target will be Pentex's political influence. I will destroy Pentex's ability to be of aid to – or threaten – governments and the other powers. Pentex's allies are no more trustworthy than the company itself, and they will abandon their ally without compunction as soon as they realize it is no longer of any use to them, or any threat.
As soon as the strike is underway, I will launch a public relations and diplomatic campaign to convince the public and neutral powers that Pentex deserves to be destroyed, and that its destruction is beneficial.
With Pentex's alliances and offensive capabilities eliminated, and with public approval of my actions, I will be free to conduct a thorough mop-up operation, taking as long as needed to eliminate any vestige of the company.
The following questions will be answered in an interview format, to provide an overview of my personality and views.
How do you feel about your mother? Would you defend her honor?
I have no particular feelings towards my mother or my father. They were always capable of handling their own affairs.
Have you ever had a pet? What was it and how did you take care of it?
I have treated many pets, though I never had one of my own. I volunteered as a veterinary assistant with the local animal shelter, with a local spay/neuter program, and with a wildlife rescue center. I treated the pets of classmates and neighbors free of charge. I also gave advice on diet, exercise, and grooming, and pressured many pet owners to begin walking their pets.
Everyone excels at something. What is your philosophy about the thing you are best at?
Medicine provides a window on the interaction between mind and body. Indeed, I do not believe it is possible to understand this interaction, and therefore to fully understand either the mind or the body, without practicing medicine. The mind and body interact in thousands of subtle ways that make it impossible for one to be independent of the other, or for one to be treated without the other.
Do you know any songs? What kind? How did you learn them?
I have an eidetic memory, so unfortunately I remember every song I hear. The songs I chose to learn were those that would be useful to know, in relation to the schools I was attending or the Army.
I'm more interested in music than in vocal. Music has been shown to have healing – and in some cases, harming – effects on the human body, and on the mind. This subject is worthy of in-depth study, and I intend to give it the attention it deserves when I have the time. Mr. X's views on the subject will be of great interest.
If you were going somewhere special that you wanted to look your best for, what would you do to prepare? What would you wear? How long would it take you to get ready?
I would wear full surgical garb, of course. It would take me only a few seconds to get ready, since I've extensively practiced donning surgical garb as quickly as possible. My surgical uniform was custom-made for me; though it doesn't provide complete protection, it does provide significant protection against harmful environmental effects, and some against kinetic impact. My surgical goggles are also quite helpful in many situations.
What will you do for your next birthday?
Nothing. A birthday is no different from any other day. I do, however, observe the birthdays of coworkers if it seems important to them. Humans are basically irrational, and it's necessary to humor their idiosynchrasies.
In any case, counting years is no longer of importance to me.
Which historical figure do you look up to the most? Why?
Hippocrates. He was the father of medicine, and established medicine as an independent discipline. Before Hippocrates, medicine was practiced by sorcerers, scholars, and priests. After Hippocrates, medicine was practiced by doctors. His introduction of the Hippocratic Oath created a new class of professionals who engaged only in healing and forswore killing and harm. For the first time, killing and curing were separate functions.
If you could meet any fictional character (TV, books, comics, etc.) which one would you choose? Why?
Adrian Veidt, aka Ozymandias. I would like to learn how he harnessed the full power of the mind, and how he achieved perfect coordination and understanding of mind and body. My ambition has much in common with his (before he became distracted with trivial matters and began dabbling in business and politics).
If you had theme music, what would it sound like?
The Theme From ER.
I wouldn't be a fan of medical dramas even if I watched television. They aren't sufficiently realistic. However, ER did at least present disease and injury accurately, and it caused many people to become interested in medicine. Perhaps more importantly, many people associate the ER theme music with emergency medicine, which is entirely appropriate.
Do the ends justify the means?
The ends justify the means if and only if the good accomplished by the ends outweighs the harm done by the means, including the harm incurred simply by using those means.
This means that for most people, the answer is no. Most people are not capable of determining whether the good outweighs the harm. Even those who are capable of so determining usually fail to exercise this capability, because they want to believe that whatever they do is justified.
For me, however, the answer is yes, because my intellect, training, and background enable – and in fact, require – me to constantly weigh harm against benefit. Moreover, my ambition is of such tremendous importance to humanity that I must not fail to achieve it, for the greater good of all mankind.
As you grow, how do you think your Ambition will evolve?
Neither knowledge nor understanding can ever be truly complete. As they grow, they enable us to answer questions which previously we did not know enough to ask. Those answers in turn provide more questions. So we need not fear that the quest for knowledge will end, that we will be adrift with nothing more to learn. Nor need we fear that our quest will go unrewarded, for the answers we gain bring tremendous power and wisdom.
How do you feel about spirituality? Are you religious? What do you believe? (Min. three paragraphs)
I have never doubted the existence of God, of angels and demons, or of the soul. There is no reason all life forms should be carbon-based, or even matter-based. If we accept the existence of consciousness, then energy-based life forms are not a great stretch, and assuming their existence solves many more problems than it creates.
The ancient Greeks believed humans consisted of three parts: body, mind,and soul. Most modern religions, including Christianity, teach that this is not the case. Rather, they hold that humans consist of only one part: that which the Greeks referred to as the soul, and which might better be called the self. (Some early modern theorists referred to it as the spark, and considered it to animate the body.) The body is a temporary host which we inhabit for a time before moving on – to the afterlife, to another body, or to an existence in this world without a body, as a ghost.
If this is true, the implications are fascinating. It would mean we ourselves are energy-based life forms inhabiting a host of flesh and blood. It would also mean that fables of magicians selling their souls are just that: fables. If a soul is removed from a body, the body is uninhabited and will not have intelligence or volition; it will be a vegetable. The proverbial magician would no longer be in his body; he would be in Hell, or wherever his master consigned him. Even if his body survived without him, it would be in a coma.
An obvious corollary is the fact that consciousness is not possible without a soul. Thus, all sentient creatures have souls. I have reassured many children that their pets will indeed go to heaven by explaining this simple logic. (Adults are more difficult, and often are not susceptible to logic. They have learned that by ignoring logic they can continue to believe whatever they wish, and many have become quite good at it.)
What would you consider selling your soul for? (Note that considering does not mean deciding!)
Nothing. Your question shows that you aren't listening. I could not possibly benefit by selling my soul, because I am my soul. If I sold my soul, my body would be uninhabited and would be in a coma.
Do you believe in aliens from outer space? Do you think they have come to Earth? Why?
I think I just answered this question. Of course I believe in aliens, and did even before I had met any. There was never a significant chance that life would develop only on Earth. Life can take many different forms, and it's almost inevitable that at least a few of those would develop sapience. Not all are carbon-based or even matter-based, and not all are from our dimension.
Some alien species have indeed come to Earth. I do not know their reasons. Currently I must devote all my energy to my Enemy, and have little to spare for aliens. In the absence of time to gather data or do anything about it, I do not speculate on their motives or actions.
How do you feel about other races?
I am wary of alien races, as is only sensible. The greatest possible threat to a sapient species is another sapient species. Moreover, any being which is wholly alien is effectively evil. It may not be truly evil (we will probably never know), but it must be considered so for all practical purposes. Some sapient species have enough in common with us that we can communicate and perhaps cooperate, but others are wholly alien. With the latter, neither communication nor understanding is possible. The Great Old Ones are a classic example.
What would your aura look like (if someone were to be able to see such a thing)?
My aura is a very strong green and blue. Green results from my fundamental identity as a doctor. Blue (sometimes reported as violet) reflects my focus on logic over emotion, mind over matter, thought over feeling. Some viewers (particularly those who see violet) associate the blue or violet aspect with powerful psychic abilities.
Magic or science? Why?
Both, of course. I'm not concerned with methods; I'm concerned with results. The method most likely to produce optimal results in a particular circumstance should be used.
Is there anything you are irrational about?
No.
What would you kill for? What would you die for?
I am reluctant to kill, because the principle “First, do no harm” is a core part of my ethic. However, it is sometimes necessary to kill in order to save, as with the destruction of cancerous cells. There are times when cancer must be ruthlessly cut away to save what can be saved.
I do not want to die, but in the end, death comes to us all. We must live in readiness to embrace death when it comes – not from resignation or futility, but because the willingness to die when necessary allows us to live fully. It is seldom possible to achieve success or destroy enemies without risk. Moreover, flight does not always allow us to escape death; sometimes, we flee from deadly danger into certain destruction, when standing our ground might have allowed a chance of survival or at least victory.
I live to learn, to understand, and to improve. These things are worth dying for.
What kind of things can make you angry? Why? (Min. three paragraphs)
The destruction of knowledge and the loss of understanding.
Mankind's progress can be measured in advances in knowledge and, particularly, in understanding. One of the simplest and most effective ways to measure a society's level of advancement is by counting the number of paradigm shifts it has undergone. So far, we have undergone only three, each triggered by a single individual: Nicolaus Copernicus, Isaac Newton, and Albert Einstein.
Such gains need not be permanent. Knowledge can easily be lost, and often is. Few books published today will survive more than a century or two. If enough scientific works are lost, scientific understanding can be lost as well. Every society undergoes catastrophe, war, and collapse, and without wide dissemination of knowledge and well-protected repositories, knowledge can disappear with startling speed.
Knowledge is vulnerable, the more so because some interests deliberately target it and many others are indifferent to its loss. The worst of these is Pentex, which seeks to destroy or subvert knowledge, corrupt understanding, and rewrite the historical record on its path to world domination.
If civilized society is to survive, Pentex must be destroyed.
What are your political views?
It's commonly known that elections are decided not by voters but by the struggle between the factions which seek political power. I pay little attention to elections; instead, I seek to influence this struggle directly. Moreover, registering to vote would be monumental folly on my part.
How do feel about democracy as a form of government?
Winston Churchill once said that democracy is the worst possible form of government – except for anything else. He was undoubtedly correct. I do not have any particular thoughts on an alternate system of government, though I would be skeptical of any unproven alternative. Those which have been tried have not done well.
Chocolate or vanilla? Why?
Neither. Dessert serves no useful purpose. I am intimately familiar with the subtle ties between mind and body, so I understand the importance of maintaining physical health. The purpose of eating is to preserve health, not to gain pleasure.
What is your favorite food? How often do you eat it?
I don't have one. As I said, food is simply fuel, and should be eaten because it is healthy, not because it tastes good.
I am not food motivated. Eventually, I expect to go beyond the need for food or drink.
What is your beverage of choice? Why?
Water. Nothing is healthier than water; it makes up 60% of your body weight, flushes toxins, and carries nutrients. Most people are at least mildly dehydrated, and yet even mild dehydration drains energy and increases fatigue.
Do you do drugs? Which ones? How often? What about caffeine, alcohol and other everyday medications? Why?
Of course not. I take only vitamins, and those only when I cannot achieve a fully balanced diet. Drugs exist for medical purposes, not for recreation. Moreover, I am not willing to be dependent on any substance.
Describe the perfect room.
The perfect room is completely sterile – the ultimate clean room. It is stocked with a comprehensive array of state-of-the-art medical equipment, and is suitable for any medical procedure, including completely experimental ones.
What could inspire you to dance? How would you describe your style?
A breakthrough in understanding.
I'm not much of a dancer. My style might best be described as two left feet … . Or perhaps as spontaneous, since I'm unlikely to know the steps.
What comforts you when you are feeling sick for an extended period?
I am never sick. If I must remain in close quarters for an extended period, I read, meditate, and study. Exercising the mind is as important as exercising the body, and doing both will increase your energy level, your general well-being, and your overall health.
Describe a typical Sunday morning.
As soon as I wake up, I scan for intruders. Assuming I don't find any, I carefully check my surroundings for any indication that I have attracted notice or am under surveillance, or any sign of danger.
If the situation remains safe and changing locations is not indicated, I begin the day by meditating. Next I exercise, shower, and eat. I then begin the day's activities, which typically involve studying or practicing medicine or certain other skills, conducting research, or reviewing my plans.
If you were an animal, what kind would you be? Why?
A leopard.
Leopards are among the world's stealthiest predators. They often stalk their prey, and frequently strike from ambush. They are cunning and plan their hunts carefully. Though they rarely hunt humans, when they do, they can be quite bold, concealing themselves in settlements, striking suddenly, and disappearing when danger threatens.
If you were a vehicle, what kind would you be? Why?
A four-door sedan with four-wheel drive: Smooth and professional, but quite capable of traversing rough terrain when appropriate.
Where do you get your news? What topics are of interest to you?
From the Internet. I follow medical literature very closely. I also pay careful attention to conditions throughout the world, and to the activities of Pentex and its allies, since I never know where I will be operating. I monitor all events and changes in conditions which may affect me.
What do you try hardest to keep secret?
My existence. With the enmity of Pentex, exposure carries the risk of death. I live my life covertly, every action carefully considered to avoid sending signals that Pentex may detect.
When would you decide to retire? Where would you settle down? What would you do?
I would never truly retire. However, many people view retirement as financial independence, granting the ability to do what you want rather than working to produce income. I already have money enough to last a lifetime – even my lifetime – but there are more constraints on our lives than finances. For me, retirement means independence, and independence means the ability to operate largely unconstrained.
And this means the destruction of Pentex.
If you were a weather pattern or meteoric phenomenon, what would you be? Why?
Fog: Difficult to penetrate, obscuring the lay of the land, while seeing all that transpires. It sometimes seems to dissipate, but always returns.
What are your worst fears? Why? (Min. three paragraphs.)
Failure to achieve my ambition.
Some things are worse than death. Dishonor is one; failure is another. Worst of all is the ultimate failure: the failure to achieve one's driving goal, the purpose for which one lives.
My mind is my most valuable possession. The mind exists to be honed, sharpened, perfected. Failure to do so would be worse than losing it altogether.
In time, I will almost certainly achieve my ambition. Only one danger seriously threatens my success: Pentex. As always, Pentex looms like an obscene effigy, casting its shadow across all I seek to achieve. In its lust to gather all power to itself and its disregard of any consequence, Pentex destroys countless dreams, believing it can act with impunity.
But nothing lasts forever; nothing ever stays the same. Large fish grow old, and small fish grow large. Even Pentex must descend into dust in the fullness of time; the only question is when. I but speed the process.
For Pentex has too many enemies, and no true friends, only allies of convenience. Even its allies will not be sorry to see it die, for it is as much rival as ally. It overreaches itself, trying to seize too much, threatening too many, heedless of those it crushes and the hatreds it creates.
Many more than I see their ambitions threatened by Pentex.
Where does your money come from? Where does it go?
My money comes from investments. It goes to fund my efforts to strengthen myself to achieve my ambition and destroy my Enemy. I do not spend money frivolously, though in truth I am shorter of time than of money. I do not have time for trivial pursuits.
What do you dream about? Why do you think you have those dreams? (Min. three paragraphs)
I have two recurring dreams.
In one, I am about to achieve true mental perfection and complete understanding of the numerous subtle ties between mind and body. I just need to complete one last step, one last experiment, one last test. My hand trembles as I raise it to turn a knob, flip a switch, make a gesture. I wake up just as I experience the elation of success, knowing that I have done it, I have gained the understanding I seek, without quite seeing that final epiphany. I always wake from this dream energized and with renewed determination.
In the other, I am fleeing some unnamed threat sent after me by my Enemy. The threat varies, and the sequence of events with it, but the overall theme remains the same. Often, as the dream begins I am jogging through a dark landscape, aware of the pursuer just out of sight. Fear is absent, as it would not be useful in this situation. With cold calculation, I evaluate what I know of the hunter, and determine how to destroy it. Sometimes I lead it into a trap; on other occasions, I enlist the aid of an ally; in yet other cases, I induce it to attack a force more powerful than itself. This dream often comes when I am in fact being hunted, by Pentex or other parties, and it is often useful in determining the optimal solution to the problem.
I know that both dreams will stop returning once I achieve my ambition and destroy Pentex. I feel neither regret nor anticipation at this prospect. The dreams are useful, for now, so I welcome them, but eventually they will no longer be needed, so I will not regret their departure.
Define what is evil to you. (Min. three paragraphs)
Pentex is evil.
Good and evil are not particularly difficult to define. Good is selflessness, and evil is selfishness. None of us are entirely good, of course. We are obligated to provide for ourselves, and for certain people before others. Only an omnipotent being could afford to be wholly good. Still, it is possible to be largely good by seeking to be as selfless as possible within the constraints of our obligations.
It is, on the other hand, entirely possible to be completely evil. It merely requires that we care for no one and nothing but ourselves. In many ways, this is the most comfortable way to live, for by excluding sympathy and compassion, we exclude pain. This path leads inevitably to self-destruction, for without pain we grow weak, and without concern for others we have no true friends, only allies of convenience.
Pentex is the classic example of evil. Not only is the organization itself wholly selfish, but its structure and corporate culture actively encourage selfishness in its employees. Neither executives nor employees can ever trust one another; alliances are only temporary, and so-called friends readily betray each other for momentary advantage. In such a poisonous environment, a moment's trust, an instant's weakness, can lead to death. As a result, Pentex personnel are highly efficient, but care nothing for each other or for Pentex itself; they care only for themselves. Once they sense that Pentex is doomed, they will abandon it like rats leaving a sinking ship. To prevent this, I must have hunters in place to ensure the important rats do not escape.
What attracts you? Do you have anyone "on your radar"?
No. I am attracted by women who are very healthy. I do not like extremes, or anything focused solely on appearance (tanning, manicuring, and the like). Our perception of beauty comes from health and fitness for childbearing, as is entirely appropriate.
What is your sex life like?
Because I am intensely focused on my work, I have little time for a personal life. Also, Pentex would not hesitate to employ female agents to seduce and entrap me.
Have you ever been in love? With who? What happened? If not, why not?
No. Taking a wife before I have eliminated my Enemy would render me vulnerable. I will allow myself to fall in love once I do, since she will undoubtedly know if I do not love her, but not before. Even then, I will make certain she loves me more than I love her; otherwise, she would be able to exert some degree of control over me.
What is your most prized possession? What makes it so special?
My mind is my most prized possession. Throughout my entire life, I have focused unwaveringly on improving my mind. It is the result of a lifetime's work, and all my efforts in the Games. It is also the focus of my ambition, and ultimately I will perfect it.
What purpose do you think the Games serve? Who is behind them? Why did they choose you?
It is clear that the Games do not have a single purpose. It is equally clear that the Harbingers have no single purpose, and indeed are often at cross-purposes. The clear implication is that The Powers That Be are in conflict. This is natural, and indeed almost unavoidable.
Some of The Powers That Be, and some Harbingers, see the Games solely as a source of entertainment. (Some of this group are quite sadistic.) Others use the Games to advance their goals (political or otherwise) and increase their power. Still others seem to use them to empower certain individuals who they know will follow a certain path, and thereby affect the course of events. Some use them to block the maneuvers of rivals, or to recruit personal followers, or for a thousand other reasons. There are probably as many purposes for the Games as there are Powers That Be – or more, since many of The Powers That Be probably have more than one purpose. And I strongly suspect that Harbingers often stray from the purposes of their masters. Perhaps The Powers That Be tolerate this because it makes their true purposes almost impossible to discern … .
Provide a personal opinion on each of the High Rollers in your Region. Do you get along?
Sorsha Borken: Sorsha has tremendous potential, but is handicapped by a poor self-image and lack of confidence. I was proud to accept her as my Kohai, and look forward to guiding her to fulfill her potential.
Larent Ratel: Larent is a solid companion and a formidable fighter. If I had to choose one word to describe him, it would be reliable. I'm always pleased to learn we will be in a Game together. Our ambitions are also complimentary in many ways; he seeks physical perfection, while I seek mental perfection. As I learn more about the numerous subtle ties between mind and body, I begin to suspect that one isn't possible without the other.
Coralino: I am concerned about Coralino. I need to study him in depth to learn how to heal his various injuries without affecting his abilities. He is also in need of spiritual guidance which I cannot provide. Even with his handicaps, however, he is a good friend and a redoubtable warrior. I always know my back is protected when Coralino is at hand.
Mr. X: Mr. X's personality and skillset compliment mine almost perfectly. He is a master of matter, I of thought. He is a master of stealth and subterfuge, I of healing. Between us, we are ideally suited to conduct a soft probe, and to recover if it goes bad. Our personalities also balance very well; he is a bit too rash, I a bit too cautious.
Rajhad Marijhava: I am not yet powerful enough to deal with Rajhad on an equal basis. Until I am, I will be very cautious around him. I am unable to heal him, so I need to further develop my mentalist abilities to ensure he sees me as a useful partner, and preferably a dominant one. I also need to develop tactics to neutralize him quickly and efficiently if he loses control. Once these goals are achieved, he will be a very useful ally.
Tilly Marsh: Tilly is a fascinating subject. Her ongoing transformation provides a unique opportunity to view genetic mutation in progress. She also has a number of unique abilities which make her an invaluable companion. Most of all, however, her calm demeanor and stolid determination make her a rock-solid ally. I have never known her to panic or even lose her cool.
Winston Peck (aka Jake Masters): Jake's technical skills make him welcome in any group. It is his ability to think on his feet and deftly ease any social situation, however, that change him from a convenience to a necessity.
Sissy Love: Sissy is a woman of many layers. On the surface, she is shy and retiring, and insecure. When you dip beneath the surface, however, you find a quiet confidence that gives her the strength to see the mission through to the bitter end. In particular, she is completely at ease in the outdoors, and her abilities there are truly remarkable.
Galen Terim: Galen's impressive divinatory abilities and comprehensive occult knowledge make him a welcome ally in any circumstances. His inscrutable demeanor makes him difficult to evaluate at first. Beneath that polished surface, however, lies a calm wisdom and unruffled acceptance of what comes that allow his companions complete confidence that he will be there when it counts.
Describe the room where you sleep most often.
Once, I slept in low-end hotel rooms. I have since concluded that staying at hotels and similar facilities attracts too much attention; it is an announcement that you are a stranger, and are only staying temporarily. It attracts attention. Instead, I now make arrangements with a local resident whose life I have saved, a member of a tight-knit community that has a cultural bar against disclosing information to outsiders. I try to learn the culture of the community and blend in as much as possible (and least in the view of outsiders who pass by).
I typically stay in a small apartment or house provided by my host or my host's contacts. I sleep in a room with at least two exits, but not many more than two. The room contains a bed, positioned to allow me to see all means of egress, and a bedside table, carefully positioned so I will not stumble over it if I get up in complete darkness. I make sure that I have the means to block the entrances, that I have the layout of the room memorized, and that there are obstacles over which a person not familiar with the room will stumble. I also make certain I can exit very quickly, and that I know the shortest route out of the neighborhood, and the best route deeper into the neighborhood.
I never unpack my bag.
Why?
Because of Pentex, of course. Until Pentex is destroyed, I will always sleep lightly, and will never stay long in one place.
Aaaaa…kaaaaa….shaaaaa
Aaaaa….kaaaaaa….shaaaaa
Aaaaaa….kaaaaa…shaaaaaa…
Rajhad! Speak only truth to what I ask!
….
As you command, sahib…
Part I. Clubs
1. What was your childhood like?
Filth & refuse…danger at every turn, & yet: a victim at every corner. Extreme youth paints me as a wretched street urchin in Calcutta. The Faithful Tigers often claim the children of their prey. I would presume I was one such claimed child, whose parents were sacrificed then consigned to a shallow grave while I lay in swaddling clothes. No matter. It was dharma to be so taken. I recall nothing beyond that, not a face, nor a name.
Childhood years consisted of faithful service in the Temple of Kali by day, thievery & the ilk by night. With other boys I drank the milk & blood from a kapila, learned the ways of the Mother, accepted the dharma that would guide all my steps. I learned how to walk softly, to pry open locks, to open a safe with my feet. I was called upon to assist the Brahmin & the Gurus in the temple. I wedged wooden blocks into doors to prevent the escape of victims. I spied out likely victims in the foreign quarters. So my childhood was spent.
The years of my majority saw my faith & skill rewarded. Excelling at all the myriad techniques of the Kalaripayattu, I became fearsome as the tiger, fast as the cobra, strong as the viper. My faith was unwavering, my courage unyielding. Already having served as p'hansigar, it was in my 17th year I earned the black rumal, having strangled a grown man (a norwegian tourist, I recall it well) without recourse to arm-men. I was schooled in languages, in subtle lies & intrigue. It was no surprise to me nor my brothers that the Gurus selected me to pursue this most dangerous path…that same year I was sent to England.
2. If you were a weather pattern or meteoric phenomenon, what would you be? Why?
I am smoke. I rise from the fire to obscure, strangle, & kill
3. What is(are) your most prized possession(s)? What makes it(them) so special?
The Rumal is most treasured, as it is both tool & badge of the Faithful Tigers of Kali-Ma. Mine even more so, as the Goddess has honored me with her wound braids further binding the sash to her divine mandate…nothing is more holy. Every sacrifice extends the Kali-Yuga a century or more.
The Plosati is next most prized. The sacred silver pick is used to break the bones of the sacrifice; to puncture there organs & cavities as well as to dig there grave. It must be kept sanctified at all times.
The kapila bowl holds captured the prana of the dead, so that the Asura may assimilate it. It is used to produce the sacred gur sugar that brings ecstasy unmatched by earthly sensation.
Heh…my fine leather jacket, as well as the gifts I have received, or more often claimed, have a certain value as well. These are material things, I know. Someday I will cast them aside. Yet for now they please me, & I cannot deny the truth of that fact lest I go astray.
4. Do you know any songs? What kind? How did you learn them?
I know all of the Kalipujta of course. Countless lifetimes in service to the Mother has burned them into my mind. I know a few other songs, as I have taste for rhythm…Indian & British pop mostly, whatever moves the body.
5. Have you ever been in love? With who? What happened? If not, why not?
Many times. My brothers & I disagree here…they say that Kali does not desire women for sacrifice, as she to is a woman (shakti). I believe the Mother is the natural end for all life, & welcomes women just as well as men…*grins*…at any rate, I recall vividly each woman I have sacrificed. The scent, the terror, the way they writhed…the weakness that comes right before death, when they come full circle: newborns lusting after that one, lifesaving breath…then they cease, eyes cloud…*sighs* Would you like details? The police woman in New York? The whore in Hong Kong? In my unyielding grasp I made each one beautiful.
6. If you were going somewhere special that you wanted to look your best for, what would you do to prepare? What would you wear? How long would it take you to get ready?
A simple loncloth for Kalari. A white suit, gloves…you know, Indian Manservant, for society. I like muscle shirts & leather jackets for a night on the town. Tight jeans & slippers. My rumal around the waist of course. Gold in the ears, at the wrists…oh, I imagine it might take quite a while. fashionably late & all that. Unless I am due to bring tea & crumpets, don't wait up for me, eh?
7. What will you do for next birthday?
There are rituals to observe…there are always rituals to observe, you know.
8. What are your worst fears? Why? (Min. three paragraphs.)
Fears…fears…no mortal thing surely. I would have to say I fear losing the contest to the Rakshasa within…the failing in my Dharma & falling back into hell, denied even the wheel of Karma. The rakshasa wheedles at my enlightenment, assuring me that I am not wise enough to walk the path of the Asura. I fear it's influence. I fear it may be right
I suppose I have been impetuous at times. By sealing my fate & crossing the Iron Bridge, I have placed myself above a precipice that, in truth, I may not have been fully ready for. The Devil-Tiger rages in my breast, & truly, this body is that of an Asura cast in the image of the man Rajhad…but who am I? An unquiet ghost, obscuring the true Demon? Or a man whose karma cast him as a Demon for deeds already done? I AM ferocious. But is that enough? I fear ignorance, I suppose, as well as commiting an act of blindness.
Most of all…I fear the Gods. I serve Kali-Ma, & in my own way I am a reflection of Shiva, husband to the Mother. I fear the Gods, worship the Gods, & obey the Gods. Without question.
9. Which historical figure do you look up to the most? Why?
Pratap Singh of Mewar…or perhaps Chetak. For unmatched, dauntless courage, of course. I do respect courage where ever it is found.
10. When would you decide to retire? Where would you settle down at? What would you do?
The nature of my Dharma makes this a forgone conclusion. I suppose if I was to wait on my apothesis then it would be as some dark bodhisattva in a cave or perhaps atop a mountain. Dispensing the sutras & such. Hard to imagine, but yes, that's what I would do.
11. If you had theme music, what would it sound like?
Kali Duge, namoh namah, jay mata kali, Jay mata Durge….maybe with an upbeat synthsiser thrown in
12. Describe your ambition. What makes you want it so bad that you would risk your life for it? (Min. three paragraphs)
Dharma is not argued with…it simply is. The contests & trials have only proven what I already knew: I am a Faithful Tiger, a Thugee, an Asura…a Kshatriya & perhaps more still. I have proven my wit, guile, strength & courage on countless occasions, as it was meant to be. I will take any risk that even imperceptibly moves me towards my end.
Just as well, I enjoy strife. Even better facing off worthy foes. I enjoy my role among the other Chosen & strive to achieve excellence, even perfection with every action. No movement wasted, no breath taken that does not further that divine purpose. It is for that reason that, upon taking the mantle of the Asura, I decided to eliminate those on the path whose faith was weaker than mine, as well as those other demons of Mara that have an imperfect understanding of the karmic role of the Destroyer.
Ultimately, I wish to be the last & greatest: Unmatched in heaven & hell. Only then will the Mother deign to grant me her ultimate blessing, & I shall be devoured, becoming one with All through her divine perfection.
13. Do the ends justify the means?
There is only the Dharma. If I maintain my Dharma, I am incapable of wrong doing.
Part II. Diamonds
14. As you grow, how do you think your Ambition will evolve?
I must merge myself with the hellish fury of the Rakshasa, & emerge enlightened. I will need to divest myself of distraction. *chuckles* I will need to grow considerably in wisdom, I'm certain…
15. If you could meet any fictional character (TV, books, comics, etc.) which one would you choose? Why?
I suspect The Man of Steel must breathe…& even great strength can be defeated by leverage…
16. Chocolate or vanilla? Why?
Hmmm…curry please. Western food, even the delicacies, is unrelentingly bland, much like the westerners themselves. I can forgive the British of this due to their guile & the fact I may be half limey myself. Don't have to eat the food though.
17. How do you feel about spirituality? Are you religious? What do you believe? (Min. three paragraphs)
*blank stare*
I suppose you were not listening. Very well. I am Hindu of course, & I believe everything that might entail. Further, I even believe in your pale Gods as I recognize them for the masks they are, just as my Gods are masks. The truth is unknown except to the wise. I strive to be wise. A wise devil.
I have died & suffered through the Yomi hells, to be reborn an Asura…a demon, if you like. I am aware of other Asura, as well as other demons such as the Dakini, the Ghuls, the Bhuts, & similar. I strive to enact my Dharma, bringing death & suffering to the world in an attempt to save it from ignorance. Every sacrifice I make prolongs the Kali Yuga, thus giving this world a little more time to find enlightenment.
I am a creature of faith. I may not harm the wise, sadhus, or even true holy men of foreign faiths. They can even harm me, or drive me forth like a leaf on the wind, though my pride rebels at it. That is all Dharma. I despise materialist, greedy men. I despise faithless, soulless curs. I despise the cowardly sycophant who runs from his Karma. These are my natural & rightful prey, "clay men", as it were.
I serve the will of Kali-Ma. I am an Avatar of Shiva. I am enemy, ally, lover, & prey to the Gods. I am Asura.
18. What could inspire you to dance? How would you describe your style?
I favor the pujta; ritualized dances signifying the Gods. Not to say I haven't gone clubbing in London or Mumbai of course. Most often though, I dance on the bodies of those I've killed, till blood & gristle mark the floors & walls in concentric spirals. Just as Kali danced upon Shiva's prone body, so do i honor my victims.
19. What would you consider selling your soul for? (Note that considering does not mean deciding!)
Nothing could sway me from my devotion to the Black Mother. My soul is for her to devour, when she chooses.
20. What would your aura look like (if someone were to be able to see such a thing)?
When Balanced, it would appear to pale in hue & shot through with slow syrupy black bands & throbbing veins of red fire. If imbalanced, the black or red would become dominant, & the hue would brighten or pale further as appropriate.
21. What do you try hardest to keep secret?
The words that call forth the Demon
22. Provide a personal opinion on each of the High Rollers in your Region? Do you get along?
Alexander: "Ah, very good Sahib. Shall I bring the afternoon tea? Very good." I confess, I enjoyed my time with Lord Winthrop a great deal. He had the mandate of Kali upon his family, all the quaint notions that lead the British to conquest, & an admirable power to embroil himself in events that drove off boredom. I played his manservant with pride, & while at his side, no man could harm him. It was saddening when my dharma led down a more thorned road, but so it must be.
William: Yes, an "Indian", & a Wolfish beast hiding under a mans skin. Occasionally crass, often ill-tempered, but even so I must say I got along splendidly with William. Even taught him in certain rudiments of the Kalari. I wonder where he has gotten off to these days…
Sasha: Though she knows it not, Doctor Sascha Mengele is chosen to serve the Mother in some grand manner. While my vision has yet to clear, it is enough that I stay close enough, observe, protect, & whatever else is required. Fortunately, the Doctor is a good companion, quite willing to muddle through the infuriating puzzles & ilk we find ourselves facing. More power to her, there.
Sparky: Yes, I'm sure you are wondering why I have not yet killed someone so grating on the nerves, yes? Well…that would be rather more difficult than appearances would suggest. The rude American junkie is surprisingly formidable & seemingly impossible to take unaware. Besides, Sascha values Sparky above all others & I dare not interfere with Sascha's dharma.
Jane: The tasty Texan women I mentioned elsewhere. Fierce, strong, & as it turns out, rather more clever than one might suspect. I look forward to our next engagement.
Griff: The Professor had the chance to eliminate me once, but unfathomably chose not to do so. I believe he enjoys the primitive thrill of our warrior camaraderie even though he is far to restrained to admit it. Interestingly, Griff has served as an Avatar of Vishnu, even as I served as Shiva. He won that contest, though I doubt he comprehends the significance of it.
Madison: My first close interaction with the Dakini, Madison is still untried in her nascent power. I have joined her on the hunt enough to realize the deception inherent in her appearance. I'll not be so foolish to underestimate her despite the drivel she espouses.
Morgan: I have only met the Irish woman on select occasion. She is everything you would expect of the Irish, headstrong & willful. Though beautiful, she is not the sort I would hunt. I can only guess the Gods have chosen her for…some purpose or another.
Laurent: I had heard of the "Ratel" from my travels in Souther Africa even before I met him. Much like William, this man makes an ideal sparring partner. While his methods are unsubtle & crass, his skills & devotion to his Gods is extraordinary.
Coralino: Yes, the strange little Aghori under the hat. Though tiresome in manner, this servant of "The Mother of Blood" is quite obviously a holy man, & even more so, dedicated to a facet of Kali-Ma. He is protected; I cannot interfere with his path.
Mr. X: For a man so cunning, so filled with guile, I must admit: X is no coward. Even more important; he knows when to best drop a deception for good, horrific effect. I find myself liking this "Mr. X", perhaps I will entice him to join Quiddium.
Etheridge: Feh, I'd sooner speak to a cricket bat, it would doubtless have greater passion. While I can't fault his talents or strategies, the good Doctor would do better to stay home with a good book & a full pipe. Perhaps if I crack him open, I can expose his gears, eh?
Peck: This trendy tourist only caught my eye once, but did so with style. So he's a gambling man is he? At least he doesn't welch on his bets…he can stick around if he likes.
Sissy: Who? Oh, the quiet girl. Another half-breed "Indian" correct? She did well enough when the chips were down, which doesn't quite earlier clinging…undecided yet. Let her ripen on the vine a bit before we decide to pluck her.
Galen: The Rom. Outcasts from the motherland forever, his magics don't concern me. He has no faith that I can see, nor any strong passions. I'll remain wary of Romani trickery, until he decides his own fate.
Slaughter: The summation of almost everything I hate about the American, but at least he has a PLAN. I detest sitting about & playing democracy. Slaughter is a man who knows how to get things done.
23. What kind of things can make you angry? Why? (Min. three paragraphs)
I dislike loud noises & bright lights. Aggravating, distracting….I'll admit to a tendency to become irritable in those conditions.
I dislike being filthy. I know, I know: I crawled through a sewer pipe. You will note, I washed meticulously afterwards. I can GET filthy, I just dislike it immensely.
I dislike crass ignorance & American materialism. I also absolutely abhor Islam. No beauty to either, just crass perpetuation.
24. How do feel about democracy as a form of government? Amusing? Government is in itself a fairly crass deception. Indians know that the Law of the Jungle still dominates. Dress it up as you see fit.
25. What is your favorite food? How often do you eat it? I smell the blood of an Englishman? *laughs* No, I would have to say my favorite food would be Tandoori goat with a re curry, with a few dates on the side. I only tend to order it when I'm in the mother country, as it can be done quite poorly.
26. What do you dream about? Why do you think you have those dreams? (Min. three paragraphs)
I meditate during my Ansana, rather than sleep. It is then that I am most assailed by omens & portents, though in truth I see such visions constantly. The dharma tries to make itself known at all times.
My visions are of many strange things…some of heaven, & what the future may bring. of past reincarnations, lessons learned & lessons failed.
My most fearful dream-like recollections are of the time spent in the Yomi Hells. Thankfully, such visions are rarely clear & quickly forgotten. Yet they are disturbing…most disturbing.
Part III. Spades
27. What is your beverage of choice? Why?
Gin & Tonic. I learned to appreciate good gin while I was in Castle Winthrop, & if I am to drink, that's what I will order.
28. Do you believe in aliens from outer space? Do you think they have come to Earth? Why?
I suppose. I killed several such things on some kind of craft before…were they "aliens"? No matter if they were, they died just as well.
29. Describe someone from your family in detail (and family doesn't end at blood). What did they look like? What were they good at? What was his or her personality like? How often did you see this person?
My Guru growing up was a thin aesthetic named Ram Singh. Proudly descended from the Brahmin, he was a rather thin man, almost skeletal. A sadhu, fakir, & snake charmer…he had given up the life of the Thug some time ago, but it was he who taught me to bring the rumal to life in my hands, as well as the way of ropes, weaving, knots, & similar. I practised yoga with him, learned to control pain, to develop a fluid body & mind. While I was young I would spend many days begging food or picking pockets near those come to witness his miracles. Hard, but kind, Old Man Singh. I haven't seen the old man in years…I suppose he must still work the streets of Calcutta.
30. Describe a typical Sunday morning.
Stretch. Breathe. Focus. My body does not breathe as it once did. Learn. Silence the mind. Quiet the demon. Listen. Open the sacral chackra. Wake the Serpent Fire. Open the eyes. Breathe. Release the Prana. Wake the Tiger. Again. Again. Bow to the Mother. Instruct the disciples. Avoid the glare of Shiva. Practice the Kalari. Perform the kalipa rites. Gather the reports of the days events. Plan the night accordingly.
31. If you were an animal, what kind would you be? Why?
I am a Tiger in my dreams. We, the faithful tigers of Kali-Ma were once Tigers in flesh, raised up as men to slay demons with the rumal. So, the question is not "if" or "why" but simply, "yes, I am a Tiger".
32. What are your political views?
Bah…I prefer a climate of loose chaos & corruption, as it allows the most freedom for the Goddess will to be done covertly. Fortunately, with the fall of the Tamil Tigers, I have found many converts to the Thugee.
33. Describe the perfect room.
I have built it. It is the Temple of Kali that lies hidden beneath my faux Buddhist in Sri Lanka. Entered by grasping the Buddha by the head & "breaking" his neck, the hidden passage opens revealing the inner temple, graced by glorious idol watching over us, the fires all round & the great drums pounding out the rhythms of the pujta. Artifacts retrieved from around the world adorn this chamber, & the sacred yantra of the Mother is decorated on the floor using thousands of tiny colored stones set into the floor. It is perfect. It is in this place that Khali will devour me when my dharma is complete.
34. What attracts you? Do you have anyone "on your radar"?
I like strong, healthy women. The Texan woman & I enjoyed a pleasant flirtation. The Dakini Madeline have come to an…understanding of sorts. Naturally my relationships are…short lived.
35. Where do you get your news? What topics are of interest to you?
I have a QC receiver/transmitter at the temple. My disciples monitor it for tales of unrest, police or military actions, potential targets…we are opportunists. We take our prey where we can, as is appropriate, portents & omens being favorable, of course.
36. Magic or science? Why?
Irrelevant. Faith & Wisdom conquer all. The rest is merely illusion.
37. Is there anything that you are irrational about?
…I dislike sickness. Scabrous, leprous, insane types…disturb me. I will not suffer their touch, nor taint myself with them.
38. What is your sex life like?
Tantric techniques are occasionally useful for evoking Prana. I have little trouble finding a partner where & when I wish.
39. Define what is evil to you. (Min. three paragraphs)
Ignorance is evil, or contributes to it. Blindness, materialism, crass indifference to the will of the Gods & the direction of ones dharma. This is the most prevalent evil in this world, ignorance & apathy.
Lack of passion is evil. Men are meant to live as Men, not machines. No dharma will be fulfilled by clay men without hearts & souls.
Sickness is evil, a clear affliction sent by the disfavor of the Gods. The sick are unclean, unhealthy, & literally filled with evil. No, not the "common cold" sick, but the truly diseased. Disgusting.
Part IV. Hearts
40. What would you kill for? What would you die for?
I kill as a matter of course, it's true, though I would hotly deny accusations that such deaths are "senseless". I kill for my Goddess. I kill to feed. I kill out of passion. I kill out of necessity. I kill out of sheer cruelty, the better to walk the path of the Devil Tiger. I will die in pursuit of my dharma, in whatever form that is decreed. It matters little what the details are.
41. Describe any enemies or vendettas you have made. Who do you think considers you an enemy? Provide some detailed plans about how you intend to "settle the score".
I have made enemies among the Thugee, as my revelations have shown me that kali will only devour the most worthy firsthand. Thus, I must sacrifice the rest of the faithful who might compete for that honor. On lesser notes, I suppose the enemies of the Quiddium Collegium are mine as well, but those are not especially concerning. I have made dire enemies of the Mujhadin of Pakistan as well as their Dakini allies, but that is as it should be. Plans? I will stalk & kill them all one by one, of course. What of it?
42. Have you ever had a pet? What was it and how did you take care of it?
I have several pet Tigers at the temple. It has recently been declared an official refuge for the Bengal. I also keep several King Cobras & Reticulated Pythons. My disciples care for them mostly, though I do study them to improve on my forms.
43. Where does your money come from? Where does it go?
After the diamond heist, I chose to keep a significant portion of my wealth in small diamonds I typically carry on my person. Other revenue comes from the coffers of our sacrifices. Mostly it is spent maintaining the Sri Lanka Temple.
44. What purpose do you think the "Games" serve? Who is behind them? Why did they choose you?
They serve the Gods. They are created by the Gods. It was my Dharma. You ask foolish questions.
45. If you were a vehicle, what kind would you be? Why?
A black vespa…fast, subtle, manoeuvrable, perhaps packed with explosives for hidden punch.
46. Do you do drugs? Which ones? How often? What about caffeine, alcohol and other everyday medications? Why?
Never did, even as a man. I require my Prana pure & undiluted.
47. Everyone excels at something. What is your philosophy about the thing you are best at?
I revel in my skills. They prove that I walk in accord with my dharma. Even if I must play along with the others, I confess I enjoy that as well. The look in there eyes when they knowingly turn me loose on there enemies is priceless…
48. What comforts you when you are feeling sick for an extended period?
Yoga if possible, but truly, I detest ill-health. As an Asura, it is a rare thing, but even so, I detest the very idea.
49. How do you feel about other races?
Americans, Arabs, & Japanese are the most detestable, as a people. Europeans are tolerable, the British 1st among them obviously. In the end though, India is the Motherland, & all wisdom ultimately sprang from it.
50. How do you feel about your mother? Would you defend her honor?
The Mother Goddess occupies my every waking thought. I have killed legions in her name how can you even ask…oh, I see. I never knew the woman that bore me, so it's a rather moot point, wouldn't you say?
51. Describe the room where you sleep most often.
I perform the my meditations in a candlelit room below the temple proper, a mat embroidered with the yantra of the Mother beneath my feet.
52. Why?
The wheel of Karma turns without mercy. Shiva dances the Nataraja, creating & destroying the universe as he does so. A universe that is, in itself merely an illusion. Only Black Kali is truth, black as she contains all things, all time, all wisdom. There is no other purpose, in this incarnation or any other.
Very Good! Now…Rajhad! I command you to forget all that has transpired here!
Ah…but Rajhad has already left. And if you were worthy to command me, sahib, you would already know that…
*cacodaemoniacal laughter followed by piteous screams*
"He has resisted the sodium pentathol, again. Shall I up the dose one
more time? It could do permanent damage."
"That won't be necessary. This was anticipated as well. I have been
given orders regarding this scenario: Mr. Porter, you will answer the
questions put to you or your invitations to the games will cease. You
will be thorough and truthful."
[Zak looks shocked]
"Cheesemongers! For serious? You guys… if I talk, I might destroy my
home." [His face shifts from shocked to worried.]
"We thought you might say that and therefore I have been told to give
you this message: if you do not talk you will never see your home
certainly."
(Pause) "*sigh*"
"Well, Mr. Porter?"
"ZAK-7D69055A-PTR-1"
"What?"
"Well, since we are being all truthsome: that's my name. Well, serial
number actually. I got the 'Zak' from my serial number. 'Porter' was
actually my Utilization Classification (sorta like a job). I made up
the name when I got here: you breeders expect this kinda thing. It's
fine: call me 'Mr. Porter' or whatever. I care. Really."
"Wery well, Mr. Porter: we will repeat the questions."
Part I. Clubs
1. What was your childhood like? (One paragraph each: (1)baby,
(2)child, (3) teenager.)
"Okay, look. I wasn't born. What you call a baby is kinda like what I
call an A.E.D.U.-Gamma Class. [Rolls his steely eyes] That means,
Accelerated Embryonic Developed Unit. 'Gamma Class' just means I was
designed for labor. Usually it takes about 13 months to complete
the development cycle. When they pulled me and all my batchmates out
of the vats, we had skipped what you think of as a 'baby'. By my
estimates, I was approximately the equivalent of a breeder's seven
year old already.
"My childhood was filled with education by holovid interface. I was
constantly having to compete with my batchmates and we were all the
same, except I seemed to want attention more than the others. I was
determined, more willful. This lead to me excelling ahead of my
batchmates in testing but in sociological terms I was declared unfit
to work in a team environment. [scowls at the interviewers] That meant
I was assigned a Utilization Classification where I would be
independent most of the time.
"So as a… well technically I was eight, which you would see as a
teen, the Utilization Board dcided that I should be trained to be a
PTR-1, a U.C. nicknamed "Porter". I was trained in piloting a vehicle
and became what you might call a courier. Flying was… nice, but I
still longed for attention and repeatedly applied to work in a team
environment and was repeatedly rejected. I hated the Utilization Board
for that. The part of my training that I did like was the fighting. It
was physical and most Gammas are never taught. Gamma are not allowed
to be trained in ranged weapons, so I was taught how to use a baton.
In fact, I was taught how to turn just about anything into a weapon,
in order to protect packages entrusted to my care. I was graduated at
the age of 11 (a full grown adult) and began my duties as part of the
431st Nipponese-Canadian Enclave. That will be (I hope) near what you
call Vancouver today."
2. If you were a weather pattern or meteoric phenomenon, what would you be? Why?
"For serious? Ooooookaaaaay. [blinks] I would be… an atmospheric
singularity: impossible by today's level of development. I have a
purpose and I'm hard to stop once I get going. Also, sorta hard to
miss. Ya happy? Pud."
3. What is(are) your most prized possession(s)? What makes it(them) so special?
"The Device is on my wrist at all times, even while bathing. It is one
of very few pieces of technology that the interface doesn't confound
me. With it, I am learning to bend spacetime and probability itself. I
got this off the corpse of the man who landed on my hood during the
encounter of the tentacular kind. I suspect that it is only a remote
access to a larger, more powerful device, somewhere, or somewhen else.
It is deeply complex and I am only beginning to see what it can do.
[grimaces] "My Mitsubishi-Volkswagen Argent. They don't make the parts
to repair this yet, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't have it's
uses… Nano filters for example. Very useful. Well, they would be if
there were any nanites around. Too bad the car's power source is dead.
I also keep the untouched courier package I was carrying when I had
the… encounter that brought me here. It is stored at the car, and I
got no idea what is in it, I'm saving it in case I need to get my job
back if I return to the future. Hopefully, it's not a nanite bomb.
[Takes a really condescending tone as if talking to a naughty child]
That would be baaAAAaad."
4. Do you know any songs? What kind? How did you learn them?
"Sure. Songs make useful mneumonics for teaching children. I learned
lots. I also learned some from listening to holovids. Sometimes I sing
a victory song in Japanese, but only when I am excited and I'm not
going to sing for you. It's… not what I was designed for."
5. Have you ever been in love? With who? What happened? If not, why not?
"You know this concept is a bit odd to me? I know all about duty,
friendship and loyalty, but I don't really get being 'in love'. I
think it's not in my design because you seem to link it with sex which
I think is kinda gross. I had a friend: Sam. She liked to fly and I
was lonely, so sometimes when I was on the job, she would come with me
for a few hours. She was with me the day of the accident…
encounter… horrible life-changing thing. Yeah. I don't know what
happened to her. [Zak's features shift from serious into a sarcastic
grin.] Oh, and thanks for bringing it up, you neanderthal."
6. If you were going somewhere special that you wanted to look your
best for, what would you do to prepare? What would you wear? How long
would it take you to get ready?
"Special? Like what? I don't know: my work clothes have always been
good enough for what I was doing. I never thought about it too much. I
see that you have widely varying fashion tastes. I'm used to wearing
my uniform all the time. Sometimes on an important day like
graduation, I'd make sure the clothes were clean. Since I got here,
I've been wearing the same kind of clothes the others were wearing on
that first cargo ship that hired me: denim, cotton and flannel.
Worker's clothes.
"I'm used to bathing in a chemical shower and sand, but you cavemen
are still using water. Good for you. The wash cycle takes 30 minutes,
the dryer cycle takes 60 minutes. Again water instead of a more
advanced method of cleaning. Simpletons."
7. What will you do for next birthday?
"Yeeeeeeah. I had noticed that your culture celebrates individuals
birth. Must be nice to have a day that's all about you. My batchday
was a Leap Day. I've only had 5 batchdays so far, though I've been out
of the vat-free for about 22 years. I guess, I'll… I don't know,
really. I'm wandering a lot, so I can't really say where I'll be or
what I'll be doing."
8. What are your worst fears? Why? (Min. three paragraphs.)
[Frowns with a tinge of worry] "I… saw something… the day I came
here. It was big. It looked like it was reaching through… well, for
lack of better words, a tear in the sky. Where there should have been
blue, there was stars and… tentacles? I don't know what to call
them. I wanted to believe that it was a hologram, but… the corpse
that just landed on my hood had me ready for a disaster. I don't know
how to describe it. It felt like it was… touching me somehow. I've
never been so afraid. Or angry. I rammed it with my car's dying gasp.
Then I was here. Smart, yeah?
"I am afraid that I might change the future for the worse somehow. I
know that if that is even possible, I have an equal chance of making
it better, but I still worry. That's why I don't tell anyone where I
came from. That's why I don't want to be having this conversation
right now. I seriously considered hiding in the… wilderness or
whatever you call it, for the rest of my life, but my curiosity got
the better of me.
[Rolls his eyes] "Cats. I know. Shuddup. It's not exactly a fear, it's
just that they make me uncomfortable. Your cats here… they… make
me sneeze, my eyes water, my skin itches. I'm not use to that. I had
only seen other people sneeze until I met Bungles, the orange mouser
of the cargo ship I worked on after I got here. I had never seen so
many cats at all 'til I came here, but I never had a problem with them
back home. You primitives need to get up off your asses and fix your
cats. They are obviously emitting some kind of irritant into the
atmosphere around them. My immune system is designed to maximize
lifespans while under extreme conditions, so believe me when I tell
you, those little monsters are killing you."
9. Which historical figure do you look up to the most? Why?
"Sir Francis Drake because he was a hard-working, intrepid explorer.
Except he died in combat and I'm not gonna follow him on that part. I
have a better design anyway."
10. When would you decide to retire? Where would you settle down at?
What would you do?
"Well, as an Gamma, you are retired when you can't work any more.
Returned to the protein tanks from whence we came, but we usually work
ourselves to death after extreme age sets in rather than allow
ourselves to be put down. I don't want to be killed."
"Mr. Porter, 'retirement' means that you stop working for the rest of
your life, not that you are destroyed."
"HAhahahaAHAHAHAHAHAHahahahhaa. Aaaaaah. [snort] What? Really? [Looks
angry.] What do you do when you can't work anymore? That would be
terrible! Only barbarians like you guys would take away a man's work.
[loud swearing in Japanese.]"
"Nevermind. Proceed."
11. If you had theme music, what would it sound like?
"I always sort of thought it would sound like a Connor Garcia movie
theme. Umm… I guess he hasn't been grown yet. OK, like…
wotsisname… Burton! Jim Burton themes: Batman, you know? But not
old-fashioned and lame."
12. Describe your ambition. What makes you want it so bad that you
would risk your life for it? (Min. three paragraphs)
"At first, I wanted nothing more than to go home. But I've been
thinking: what if I was brought here on purpose. What if I've been
shown all these… monsters and things for a reason? My designer was
very smart, and I wonder if I was different from the others in my
batch on purpose. Maybe this was planned somehow. Like what if I am
some sort of failsafe against a future invasion of giant, squidlike,
alien monsters?
"On the other hand, even if it is some sort of accident, I know what I
know. I've seen what I've seen and I'm afraid. Dead things are suppose
to stay that way. I've seen other monsters too, including Grandmaster
Squidboy. [shudders] Humans, even during the disgusting breeding
period of our history, can not coexist peacefully with these things.
"I'm better than everyone else here. I was made to last. It is
painfully obvious to me that I am one of very few qualified to
champion mankind. Even a lot of the folks I've met who participated in
the games were clearly inferior. The games are the key. If I don't do
this work, I shudder to think of what might happen to our home planet.
And I was made to work. The assignment has been already decided, it
seems."
13. Do the ends justify the means?
[pause. brow furrowed.] "You mean like would I slaughter a village of
innocents to kill the biggest monster the planet has ever seen? Oh,
that's a toughy. (pause again. furrows deepen.) Well, if it were the
only way and the innocents were going to die anyway when the planet is
overrun with behemoth octopi, then… I'd reeeeeeally have to belive
it was the only way. My goal is to slay the monsters, not become one
also. (Ha! 'Slay!' I just learned that one!)"
Part II. Diamonds
14. As you grow, how do you think your Ambition will evolve?
"Well, I intend to learn a lot more about the various monsters I've
seen and the ones I haven't yet too. I plan to become an expert in
identifying and destroying such things. I'm going to have to start
small. But I intend to push the scale as far as I can. I'm gonna need
an army. What do you say, big guy: want to fight for the whole world?
You can be on my team."
15. If you could meet any fictional character (TV, books, comics,
etc.) which one would you choose? Why?
"Connor Garcia's greatest performance as Drake Vasquez, an action hero
who saved the galaxy from monsters. He was [Japanese] as all
[Japanese]. Plus, maybe I could get some tips. Oh, you don't know him
because he isn't grown yet, but I watched all his holovids during free
period. A hero with style. You guys can keep your… I don't know who
do you guys idolize… Arnold Swartzenpopper or whatever."
16. Chocolate or vanilla? Why?
"Vanilla for taste, but I… really… like the way chocolate makes me
feel. My research shows that it's not poisonous, but something that
makes you feel like that ought to be illegal. Never had either before
I came here."
17. How do you feel about spirituality? Are you religious? What do you
believe? (Min. three paragraphs)
"First let me just say that, organized religion is an attempt to
manipulate people. I only know a bit about them, but from what I can
tell, most of History's strife has come out people disagreeing about
which boogeyman to throw their peanuts at. So far, I haven't found any
that aren't blatant manipulative tools.
"Some of the other clones used to whisper that the Great Designer made
us all, that he had a plan that we were each a part of. You people
have lots of similar notions. I don't know. I used to think that we
*can't* know that stuff and therefore it falls outside of science and
can be ignored. The things I've seen lately have made me re-examine
this though. I want to think that there is a scientific explanation
for everything, but now I'm no longer convinced.
"What if I have a soul and it could be in danger? What if this is what
the monsters want? What if I can use it to fight them? To be honest, I
wish I knew what to believe. Maybe it doesn't matter as long as you
believe something… Hahahahahahah!!! Yeah right. I'm sure it matters.
I just don't know what I should believe. For now, I'm just trying to
learn what I can and hope that I can answer these questions later."
18. What could inspire you to dance? How would you describe your style?
"Sometimes when I get excited I do a little 'jig' others have called
it, but just for a second. Then there was…
"Hoo boy, well, I tried this stuff called beer. I don't remember that
much, but I'm pretty sure I was dancing or trying to anyway… My
style was based off of the tonfa kata I used to practice as a kid. I
don't think I was very good at it.
"In the morning, I did some reading about it and discovered that what
makes beer make you dance is a waste chemical from a single-celled
organism: an ANIMAL's urine. [Japanese] Disgusting."
19. What would you consider selling your soul for? (Note that
considering does not mean deciding!)
"ASSUMING I have one: [counts on fingers] Save the world. Going home.
(pause) I guess that's it. If I really thought I was selling my soul,
I'd probably do it for the former, but not the latter."
20. What would your aura look like (if someone were to be able to see
such a thing)?
"What the [Japanese] is an 'aura'?"
[explanation from interviewers]
[Zak shakes his head frowning] "Is that… real? Hmm… OK, I'm sure
I'd be brightly colored and throbbing, virtually overflowing with
vitality."
21. What do you try hardest to keep secret?
"Pretty much everything I'm telling you. I'm afraid that I might break
the future somehow, if I'm even in the same Universe. I don't tell
people when I really came from. I just say that I am Canadian, which
is half true. I'm trying to learn how to act like you primate morons."
22. Provide a personal opinion on each of the High Rollers in your
Region? Do you get along?
Morgan - I haven't seen the same person more than once except Morgan:
I thought she was pretty and I hoped she would be my friend because I
was lonely, but she was as cold as a Delta. [Annoyed Japanese.]
Mysterious and powerful.
Griff - While I seemed to be the only man for the job of keeping those
kids away from that invisible beasty, only Griff could send the thing
that was chasing me back to the protein tanks. Polite, intelligent,
but he struck me as suspicious.
Trawl - While I had no idea what the [Japanese] he was saying half the
time, I liked the guy, 'til he ran when I stepped up to save his sorry
butt and he immediately abandoned me and the others. You don't leave
your team if you can help it. I think he had a choice and made the
wrong one. Coward.
Widow Stryker - "Alright, Little Miss Spookypants (tm), in case you
didn't notice we are short thirty-three point three with a bar over it
percent of the people we started with. Lucky you aren't one of 'em: If
Doc Holiday, here," Zak jerks a thumb at Trawl, "and I didn't catch
you, it'd be an even fifty. Caution is on sale and we're all in line.
Are you?" She is going to get everybody killed some day. Still, she
amuses me. I kinda like havin' somebody to yell at. She doesn't seem
to mind. Weird too, but nice enough.
David Green - Survived overwhelming odds in his first game. Took me
almost a month to find an insult that would shake him up too. I got
nothin' but respect for the little guy. He was a little too
inquisitive about where I came from.
That Gun Samurai dude - Forgot his name, but he had my back. Good man.
Almost couldn't get him to flee when that army was coming for us. I
had a spacetime anchor set, so I was going to draw them away and then
vanish. He almost refused to go though. Like him all the more for it.
Bill - I think that this… ancient husk of a man, picked up my
transport to a game on accident. I was suspicious of the thing that
approached me, because it was a cat. Bill pet it as I watched the
little plague-bearer and when he read the tag at its malignant little
throat, he vanished, and I knew it was an invitation. I think this old
guy is useless except to test for traps ahead of me. (pause) Naw, I
wouldn't. (sighs) I'd protect him cause he is part of my team and
might be the key to my survival.
23. What kind of things can make you angry? Why? (Min. three paragraphs)
"Well, that giant calamari in the sky tossing me through time or
across dimensions or whatever leaps to mind. Most things though: dead
things that aren't, your backwards 'technology', stupidity,
disloyalty, ignoring me, disagreeing with me when I know I'm right,
your face…
(smiles at the interviewer)
…as for example."
24. How do feel about democracy as a form of government?
"Yeah, that's cute. Look, I'm made to work, not lead. I know that. I
think that the people running the government should be designed to do
what they do also. I think Aristotle called it the Ivory Tower, or
whatever. You people haven't started designing people for their chosen
tasks, yet, so I guess democracy works until you can. Still, shouldn't
you at least have some more formal testing of your politicians beyond
a popularity contest? They ought to be able to clearly demonstrate
certain skills aside from making you like the way they talk.
Ridiculous."
25. What is your favorite food? How often do you eat it?
"Well, it used to be extruded Red #345456 nutrient paste, but I can't
get that anymore. I find Spam reminds of it a bit, so eat it a lot.
I'm not always feeling that adventurous about food, and you people eat
some weird [Japanese]."
26. What do you dream about? Why do you think you have those dreams?
(Min. three paragraphs)
[Zak's face takes a distant, vaguely unhappy look]
"I dream about that thing I saw on the day of the crash here. I see
Sam's twisted face screaming as soon as that old man's corpse hit my
hood. I can feel the terror and the anger.
"It's obvious why I have these dreams: as far as I know, that thing is
still out there somewhere, somewhen. I don't know what it was, I don't
know what it can do or what it wants. I don't know how to stop it. It
strikes me as similar to your current worries over mere nuclear
warheads: so powerful and I am helpless before it.
"Sometimes, I dream that when I went to ram the thing, I pass through
it like it was just a hologram and I'm home and Sam is safe. I tell
Sam about the weird dream I had about going into the past.
[Zak scowls] "Then I wake up and discover I'm still here."
Part III. Spades
27. What is your beverage of choice? Why?
"Water. Because your body needs it to properly maintain health and
energy. Staying sufficiently hydrated makes you stronger. Like me.
Just kidding: you'll never be as strong as me. [patpats] Don't worry:
it's not your fault."
28. Do you believe in aliens from outer space? Do you think they have
come to Earth? Why?
"I know that they are out there. There are about 200 life-bearing
planets in our galaxy alone. I used to think that, if they had the
technology, they still wouldn't have any reason to come here, and even
if they did, it would be to observe in order to learn.
[Zak's lip curls]
"But I don't think that thing I saw was from here and I don't think it
was here to watch and learn. I wish I had the slightest guess why it
was here. The only man who might have known the answer to that is
buried at the crash site in Brazil. I've been lately entertaining
thoughts that maybe his death isn't as much of an impediment to
questioning him as I thought, provided I can find the right person to
help with the questioning."
29. Describe someone from your family in detail (and family doesn't
end at blood). What did they look like? What were they good at? What
was his or her personality like? How often did you see this person?
"I never met my designers. Well, my batchmates all seemed to be just
like me, except I was louder. They were made to work and work they
did. Effective team tactics was their joy in life. Until the age of 8
I was training with them too, then I only ran into them rarely. They
were always able to pick me out of the crowds of other Gammas, so they
always approached me when I ran into them. I couldn't really do the
same. They all seemed a bit nonplussed by my unusual behavior (by my
batch's standards) but I liked to see them anyway. They are dedicated
workers with seemingly similar personalities, though I know them
better than that. They do not have my penchance for insulting others."
30. Describe a typical Sunday morning.
"I wake up early and go for a run. I take a shower (if possible) and I
eat some Spam while I take notes on the newspaper and television. I am
studying you people, you and your stone-age tech. I look for work as
soon as people are awake and moving. Technically, I'm an illegal
alien, so anything that is what you call 'under the table'. Just
learned that idiom. I can usually find someone who will let me mow
their lawn, wash their car, move furniture around or whatever."
31. If you were an animal, what kind would you be? Why?
"What the [Japanese] kind of question is that? Are your eyeballs only
for looks, or what? I was clearly designed to be a human."
"Mr. Porter, we mean if you were a non-human animal."
"Oh. Why didn't you say so? (pause) I guess I'd be a… police dog
that got lost but still felt its responsibility to protect simply
because it was was stronger and better trained than those around it."
[rolls his eyes]
32. What are your political views?
"People should follow leaders who have been designed to be leaders:
leaders should be extremely intelligent, well-educated in sociology,
economy and technology, socially responsible and forward-thinking. I
would follow such a person: I was made to. 'Course, I'd still give 'em
a few choice nicknames."
33. Describe the perfect room.
(long pause)
"Mr. Porter?"
"Hmmmm?"
"Would you like us to repeat the question?"
"No. I just don't know how to do that. Perfection is an optimization
of utility and function. So… I guess, a room that let me study the
world, attend the games and yet remain anonymous and completely safe
(giant space mollusks included in that consideration). One I could
have company over too.
"What? —I get lonely."
34. What attracts you? Do you have anyone "on your radar"?
[raises an eyebrow]
"Attracts how? I don't have any radar devices."
"Mr. Porter, we mean what and who do you look to mate with."
"Mate as in… fluid exchange?! [shudders] Oh, gross. You breeders…
Nothing. I don't. I like friends. I leave the mating to [grimaces] you
primitive… disgusting… TROGLODYTES! That I somehow will be created
by you… *things* is just astounding to me sometimes. Uhhherrrrrrg."
35. Where do you get your news? What topics are of interest to you?
"Anywhere I can. I mostly am interested in the style, technology and
entertainment of the present. I wasn't a history tutor, so I only knew
a few things about this era.
"David gave me a laptop and while I curse it daily, I'm slowly making
progress with these primitive sub-vocalization interfaces, it is
suppose to detect my thoughts, but it obviously expects something
different than the neural inference interfaces I'm used to. Don't even
talk to me about that ridiculous keyboard and mouse.
"I pickup newspapers, go to libraries, watch TV and sometimes even
just question random people on the street. I remember a bit about
history, but it's not my area of expertise. I just keep waiting to see
if something will change from the way I thought it was suppose to go.
I knew Michael Jackson was going to die. That's the only confirmation
I have so far that tells me this timeline is at least somewhat similar
to what I was taught as a child."
36. Magic or science? Why?
"I used to think magic was all fodder for holonovels. Since I've
gotten here I've often wondered if they aren't the same thing, just
that Magic was hidden or lost somehow. I know a great deal about
science. That help? OK, then."
37. Is there anything that you are irrational about?
[Zak raises an eyebrow] "Me?! Irrational?! No, you piece of [Japanese]."
38. What is your sex life like?
"Sex, sex, sex. You monkeys… it's all over your entertainment media.
I find that amusing, interesting even, but I leave the grossology to
you.
"I am trained to recirculate my bioelectric wavicles to release excess
during rest period. Between that and my culture's use of cloning,
sexual intercourse, which I think you are talking about is a waste of
time and energy, not to mention nauseating."
39. Define what is evil to you. (Min. three paragraphs)
[sarcasm dripping]
"So far, I got 'monsters'.
"Oh, I guess people can be evil too. Those who hurt innocents, at least."
Part IV. Hearts
40. What would you kill for? What would you die for?
"Whoa there, sparky! No one wants to kill or die here. Except
Monsters. Killing them, I mean. To kill a human, they would have to
leave me no other choice, Like demonstrate the ability and willingness
to summon monsters pointed at innocents. I can't follow the [Japanese]
around all the time and a prison isn't gonna do it either. I suppose I
would die if it meant protecting my team, but there is some
cost-benefit analysis that goes into it. I wouldn't want to die to
save only one, but at two, the benefits start to outweigh the cost."
41. Describe any enemies or vendettas you have made. Who do you think
considers you an enemy? Provide some detailed plans about how you
intend to "settle the score".
"There is a skeleton out there that imitates… I don't want to say
the name: he might find me. Well, he's a psychopath and scary as
[Japanese]. I'm going to have to learn all about that [Japanese]
before I can take him down.
"Same plan for The Great Sky Monster. I imagine it will be a bit
harder to fight, so it's sort of on the backburner."
42. Have you ever had a pet? What was it and how did you take care of it?
"Nope. I had a virtual pet for a bit, but it wasn't interesting to me.
It didn't really alleviate my loneliness: I knew it was fake."
43. Where does your money come from? Where does it go?
"I work all the time. People give me money when I work. Which took
some getting used to for me. I'm not really used to this method of
resource allocation: I'm used to working because I want to and being
provided for by the Enclave, because the government is responsible for
all its citizens.
"Capitalism isn't completely inefficient though. I spend my money on
newspapers, food (mostly Spam), lodging (when I'm tired of street
living) and equipment. The rest goes to charity for efficiency of
moving resources to where they are needed. Isn't that what you are
supposed to do?"
44. What purpose do you think the "Games" serve? Who is behind them?
Why did they choose you?
"OK, Hellen Keller: in my case, I think I'm supposed to be prepared
for this monster invasion from the sky in my time. I haven't
discovered an obvious purpose for the other 'High Rollers'. (David
taught me that term after he came back from a game that I wasn't
invited to.) I'd be surprised to discover that they didn't each have a
purpose to fulfill also.
"Whomever or whatever is putting these on is very smart. I got no idea
who they are though.
"I'm not sure if I was 'chosen' or created for this purpose, either
way, I think it has something to do with the anger I felt when I saw
that thing and the way I rammed it with my car. I don't think it is a
coincidence at all. I think someone planned it somehow: to have me see
that thing and then be presented with the opportunity to win fabulous
monster-killing gifts? Not a coincidence at all."
45. If you were a vehicle, what kind would you be? Why?
"A BMW-Hitachi Lunar Baron: sturdy, curious, able to go further than
most anyone realizes and way ahead of it's time."
46. Do you do drugs? Which ones? How often? What about caffeine,
alcohol and other everyday medications? Why?
"I keep 'medical' supplies in my bag, horrificly barbaric though they may be."
47. Everyone excels at something. What is your philosophy about the
thing you are best at?
"I have to remember that those around me are not designed the way I
was: they are fragile and weak. I'm here to go all the way to see the
job through. Should we fail, I will be the last to fall."
48. What comforts you when you are feeling sick for an extended period?
"Gammas aren't supposed to get sick. I had never been sick in my entire life until I met Mr. Bungles. All I had to do was leave the hideous little vermin-chaser and stay on the other side of the boat."
49. How do you feel about other races?
"As far as I'm concerned you are all mongrels, caucasians too. Until
someone comes along and cleans up your genetic codes and fixes your
ridiculous, weak variations you will remain so. Sorry. Them's the
retrorockets."
50. How do you feel about your mother? Would you defend her honor?
"If by 'mother' you mean 'design team and cloning vat' then I'd defend
them, certainly. Look at me being all Delta-like! Heh."
51. Describe the room where you sleep most often.
"I sort of wander a lot, because I am afraid of being discovered.
Well, I stayed on David's couch for a couple of months, but even then
he was moving around a lot. I guess… my tent and sleeping bag? They
are blue. Not exactly a room, I guess."
52. Why?
"I've said too much already. that good enough to keep me on the guest
list, or what? Thanks for nothing. [Japanese swearing.]"
Interviewer: "By the order of the 13th Commandment and verses 10:05-28 of the Unnamed Testament I command you to step fourth, Harold Grimlitch, Chosen One, Sin Eater, and answer these questions for all to hear. "
Harold: "(Pause) Very well. I will answer, but let it be recorded that I do this under protest, Gabriel."
Interviewer(Gabriel):"How did you-"
Harold: "Please. You forget who you're talking to. Know that I am going to know the answer to every question you give me about you, now matter how much I have to eat to do so."
Gabriel: "Very well. I have nothing to hide."
Harold: "That's what they all say."
Part I. Clubs
Assume all questions are presented in such a way that the character is feeling unusually talkative, with no desire to lie. Perhaps they were given sodium pentothal. Make the answer as long as you like but unless otherwise stated the minimum is one paragraph. You will be asked to elaborate on one word or one sentence answers.
1. What was your childhood like? (One paragraph each: (1)baby, (2)child, (3) teenager.)
My mother was a brain surgeon, my Father a Neurologist. As an Infant I was, yes-that was me, cared for by a Nannie, who was very kind but got deported when I was 8. Later In life I looked for her and found she had been returned to Nicaragua and had been executed by the dictatorship there for treason.
After that I was largely left to my own devices. Feeling abandoned, I was very unruly until the age of 12, where in a fight at School, I bit the other kid. My life changed completely after that with my first taste of someone else's memories.
My Teenage years were devoted entirely to school, discovering the secrets of the human body and fine dining. I had no friends, though I never felt lonely; I volunteered a great deal with the red cross, and occasionally some blood would go missing, and I would make myself soup that evening dinner, or pasta with an excellent red sauce.
2. If you were a weather pattern or meteoric phenomenon, what would you be? Why?
A desert storm, deluging the hungry earth with much needed water and sapping away accumulated toxins. Yes a storm. I went to Niagara falls for my wedding you know. (pause) Excuse me, that wasn't me.
3. What is(are) your most prized possession(s)? What makes it(them) so special?
My gun, and the Horadric Cube. My gun is of beautiful craftsmanship, and makes many of my close contact spells ranged, and my Cube has a countless number of uses. I, have, other things, things that aren't quite mine, that I keep anyway because I have the memories for them. The Secret diary I kept under my bed where I described all the secret places She Touched Me. My lucky rabbits foot my sister gave me. My wedding ring. The fishing rod that was the first thing I bought when I came back from World War 2.
I also have some special jewelry that I made into friends of mine.
4. Do you know any songs? What kind? How did you learn them?
I, know, all sorts of songs. I, learned them from all sorts of people. I cant think of all of them. There's too many. Too many. I try not to think about music.
5. Have you ever been in love? With who? What happened? If not, why not?
…Love? I love knowledge. There was a girl once, who played in the games. But she disappeared. I cannot afford that luxury, my enemies would use it against me.
I remember having loved, though. The memories are not mine, but they sometimes keep me warm at night. Or at least well fed.
6. If you were going somewhere special that you wanted to look your best for, what would you do to prepare? What would you wear? How long would it take you to get ready?
…I, I would not be able to decide what to wear, for a long time. A tux perhaps. It would depend on the occasion. I am not very social, you see. So a special occasion would have to be particularly important for me to even consider leaving my Sanctum.
7. What will you do for next birthday?
Spend it like any other day. My parents did not hold with such traditions as holidays. I suppose I'll bake a cake. The people who live in my house with me like festivities, and I like to keep them happy. Which birthday was mine again? I'll have to check the calendar.
8. What are your worst fears? Why? (Min. three paragraphs.)
(Pause). You don't want to know. Really. There is so much, SO MUCH, to fear. I have just grazed the tip of the iceberg and already I have several lifetimes worth of work cut out for me. I mean, my study of Vampires alone, is enough to keep me awake at night. the Pacts they have made. The Baili. Tremere (shudder).
Then, The Wyrm. The things I know and wish I didn't, but must. Its minions make for delicious entrees, but the horrors, everything you can imagine. No really, Every, single, thing, you can imagine, no less.
But that's not the worst of them. The worst of them are The Unnamable. Mythos. That Which Man Was Not Meant To Know. The very information about it destroys your mind. Your mind. Your mind. Your mind. Your mind. Your mind. Your mind. Your mind. Your mind. Your mind. Your mind. (pause) Excuse me.
9. Which historical figure do you look up to the most? Why?
Fuck historical figures. They were all puppets. You think I'm kidding? I'll show you sometime.
10. What would be your dream home?
The one I have now. I would show it to you, but I can't risk it. Some friends of mine have been shown as far as the operating room, but no one else has been further in since I've built it.
11. If you had theme music, what would it sound like?
Butthole Surfers: Other people eyes.
12. Describe your ambition. What makes you want it so bad that you would risk your life for it?
I want to eat the sins of the world. I want to know Everything there is to know about everything. I want to devour the flesh of atrocities like the Twins and use their secrets against their allays and minions, until I eat them too.
I want to restore balance to the universe. I want to eventually step off of this horrid game the Secret Masters make life into. I want to rise above, so high, that one day I will take a seat, among the masters myself.
On that day, I will smash the board they play on, and sink my teeth into the Masters themselves, and see what their Sin tastes like. Considering what they've done to humanity, it will be delicious.
13. Do the ends justify the means?
This question is an illusion. It gives you the impression of a yes or no answer, when the truth actually lays in between. The answer is sometimes yes, sometimes no.
Part II. Diamonds
If people would like more questions to further develop their character they can continue:
14. If you were a book, what would your title be?
Sin Eater
15. The Beatles or Elvis? Why?
Honey, no one beats the King. Not only is he the best, he's a Harbringer.
16. If you could meet any fictional character (TV, books, comics, etc.) which one would you choose? Why?
…I've met fictional characters. But I would like to eat Hannibal Lecter. It would be ironic, not to mention savory.
17. Chocolate or vanilla? Why?
…I, don't know.
18. How do you feel about spirituality? Are you religious? What do you believe?
HAHAHAHA…
I have seen Angels, I have fought Demons, I have witnessed Things That Were Not Meant To Be. I have tasted the taint of a mans soul on my lips, and have sent over six hundred innocent souls from purgatory to Heaven in a single evening.
I have seen the truly damned suffer, and I have witnessed an Angels fury. I have resisted the temptations of one of the three heads of Satan himself.
I watched a prophet of Athena perform miracles. I have seen soulless bodies rise from the dead. I have eaten the sin of the living, and gave them a chance for redemption. I have slaughtered the irredeemable and fed upon their corruption.
What do I feel about spirituality? What do I believe. Everything you can imagine, to the wildest dream to the darkest terror, exists. And more.
19. What could inspire you to dance? How would you describe your style?
…I'm not sure. Pleasant ambiance? I disco ball? I… Have lots of dance styles. I learned from a lot of people.
20. What would you consider selling your soul for?
Knowledge.
21. What would your aura look like?
Oh, you don't want to see that. Bluish white with a blackish red core, if you look at my digestive system.
22. What do you try hardest to keep secret?
The fact that I eat people. lets just it's not a subject you want to bring up over lunch.
23. Provide a personal opinion on each of the High Rollers in your Region? Do you get along?
Hmm. I've known quite a few in my time.
Nick Moyers and I are still good friends, though I haven't seen him in a while. I should talk to him and see what he's up to.
Titania Weiss, a beautiful woman. While I consider myself proficient in magic, it is well within reason that she may surpass me. She, like Nick, has something that all too few Chosen Ones posses: Virtue. Though she may not trust me, I would defend her if she were in need.
I have corresponded with Jake Brody for some time. At first I thought he was a problem, but I've come to realize he serves a function, one I am not capable of doing. I wish him luck, and hope his sanity holds for all our sakes.
Elliot Bradovitch IS a problem, but one that wars with other problems of mine. All things in their time. Or not, considering there are so many other things out there that need to be taken care of.
There was Ataias, and Mr Fanucci, and Chandler, and Lawerence. They all disappeared long ago. I sometimes wonder what they are up to. I caught a glimpse of Chandler once, I think he is a Harbinger now.
Adalia Grey. Interesting woman. Definitely not on any menu of mine. When she needs help, I help her. Her house has become quite the orphanage, and I convinced her to beef up its security.
Aminita Lock. Heard of her as some sort of Champion of the Wyld. Not sure how sane that would make her, but who am I to judge.
Akkiki. We haven't been formally introduced, but I hear he's the next prophet of Ra. Having met The Followers of Set, I feel sorry for him. Yes yes, I did stop by his house once. It was too easy to find. There is a big difference between watching someone do a good thing without helping and watching a good man paint a bulls eye in his forehead.
There are others that I have only heard rumors of. The Ultimate Warrior I've heard, is as dumb as a rock and as tough as nails.
I heard a whisper about The Great White Hunter, a guy who hunts the Chosen for sport. I'd like to talk to him actually. I could tell him about all the other game out there that is so much bigger than the Chosen. (grin) Dragons, for instance.
The dead moan that Kaili has chosen a messenger. Interesting. I know little else, except that maybe at one time he used to work for that Winthrop character.
There are a few others, but I haven't had time to keep track of them. I've had my experiments to look after.
24. What kind of things can make you angry? Why?
The corruption of innocents. The destruction of knowledge. Food getting away. The Twins.
25. How do feel about democracy as a form of government?
An effective method for keeping normal people distracted while darker and lighter powers vie for pulling their strings.
23. What is your favorite food? How often do you eat it?
Oh, I could write a cookbook…
26. What do you dream about? Why do you think you have those dreams?
I do not dream, I slip into the dreamworld when I need to. Normal dreaming is for normal people, and is usually safe for them. I'm not normal.
Part III. Spades
27. What is your beverage of choice? Why?
Coke. No wait, Pepsi. No, Dr Pepper. No,….a fine wine. Yes, that's it. Pinot Noir or Burgundy if its red, Chardonnay if it's white.
28. Do you believe in aliens from outer space? Do you think they have come to Earth? Why?
I was once introduced to a man who is leading the resistance front. I would help him, but he is not fond of me. Besides, he plays the game of the Chosen, so I imagine he can take care of himself.
29. Describe someone from your family in detail (and family doesn't end at blood). What did they look like? What were they good at? What was his or her personality like? How often did you see this person?
My parents have passed on. I had no siblings. My parents where both very busy people. I saw them rarely. I buried them myself, and for some reason never got around to eating them. Felt kind of, incestuous.
30. Describe a typical Sunday morning.
Get up, make breakfast for the humans and creatures in my care, go to the Mortuary and oversee a few funerals. Do my laundry at home, watch an episode of House, Make dinner for everyone, check the house security at some point during the day (twice sometimes, always vary my pattern), evening calisthenics and combat practice.
31. If you were an animal, what kind would you be? Why?
…I don't know. The question confuses me. I would be several animals. An ecosystem.
32. What are your political views?
Officially, Democrat. I'm more interested in behind the scenes than the scenes themselves.
33. Describe the perfect room.
White walls, elegant dinning room with polished silver dinnerware, plenty of light, silk tablecloth, adjoining kitchen perfectly designed.
34. What are you attracts you? Do you have anyone "on your radar"?
I am attracted to knowledge. I suppose a knowledgeable woman would be appealing, as long as she didn't smell like dinner. There was once an Asian girl I met who could heal wounds my licking them. I found that to be very, interesting (looks uncomfortable).
35. Where do you get your news? What topics are of interest to you?
Divination, and NPR. Sometimes I watch the public news stations to see what they are spoon feeding the masses, and to check in on my stocks.
36. Magic or science? Why?
Yes. and yes. Both of them work, so I use both of them.
37. Is there anything that you are irrational about?
My memory, sometimes.
38. What is your sex life like?
I have crafted a few creatures in my lab that currently see to my needs. I cannot risk attachment, my enemies would use it against me.
39. Define what is evil to you.
Dinner. That Which Must Not Be. The Secret Masters.
Part IV. Hearts
40. What would you kill for? What would you die for?
I would and have killed for food. I would kill or die trying to further my goals as The Sin Eater.
41. Scooby Doo or Bugs Bunny? Why?
(blank stare) Why are you asking me this Gabriel? Are you trying to invoke some kind of reaction?
Gabriel: Just answer it.
Harold: (grabs head) You have any idea how much shit I have to sift through to to get an answer? Fine! Bugs Bunny! He's always one step ahead of Elmer Fudd. Happy?
42. Have you ever had a pet? What was it and how did you take care of it?
My house is full of pets. They take care of themselves, and look after the house.
43. Where does your money come from? Where does it go?
I have multiple stocks in multiple ventures. If my assets were liquidated I would be just shy of being a billionaire. Money has multiple uses. Its a tool, one that I do not use a lot, but I have it handy when I need it.
44. Have you ever developed an enmity with an inanimate object? (For example: a chair that always catches you hair.)
My VW Volkswagen I used to drive in College. Had a love/hate relationship with it. It never broke down, but never ran well, always leaked oil, and would never stay clean.
45. If you were a vehicle, what kind would you be? Why?
…a tank? Or maybe a punknaut. You take 4 hovercrafts-wait, never mind. It isn't the future yet, and that future might not happen.
46. Do you do drugs? Which ones? How often? What about caffeine, alcohol and other everyday medications? Why?
I don't have time for recreational substances, though I have plenty of memories of taking just about anything you can think of. Believe me, it's not worth it. I sometimes ingest caffeine via the desserts I make, and there is alcohol in the occasional glass of wine I have with a meal.
47. Everyone excels at something. What is your philosophy about the thing you are best at?
I know a lot of stuff. There is very little I don't know or couldn't find out about on short notice. I am a master Thaumatergist, one of the best. Perhaps one day I will be the best.
I am a Sin Eater. One day I hope to be The Sin Eater. I have traveled a long way to understanding what that means. I still have a long way to go, and a lot of studying till I get there.
48. What comforts you when you are feeling sick for an extended period?
Finding the body of a really really bad person, and making them into a casserole. Casseroles were the first way I started to eat people.
49. How do you feel about other races?
…Which ones? I don't like Deep Ones. I fought a Biaki once. The Uccasi are ok, they just want to go home, or adapt to here and live peacefully, though some are addicted to human emotion. Formori taste great and are less filling. Shape-shifters have their own problems, and I am trying to establish peaceful relations with them.
50. How do you feel about your mother? Would you defend her honor?
….My mother, my mother, MY mother. How do you mean? She was a doctor, her integrity is unquestioned. I would view attempts to slander her name as an enemy probing for weaknesses. He would find none.
….But there was something, odd.
Gabriel: "Go on."
Harold: (glares at him) "There were some, unusual people at her funeral. Great uncles and cousins and such. I thought little of it then, but now that I'm awakened, I am fairly certian that several of them were well dressed Ghouls. Hmm.
51. Describe the room where you sleep most often.
I do not sleep, I walk into the Dreaming.
52. Why?
It's safer for me that way.
Gabriel: That is all. You may go now.
Harold: Not quite.
Grabiel: You are free to leave now, I suggest you do-
Harold: 1. You were born forged of star dust, at the very first dawn, for God wanted someone to herald his coming. In your infancy you watched over the creatures in the Garden of Eden before the apple was eaten, and as a young teenager you watched in horror as your elder brother Lucifer rebel against your Father and fall from grace-
Gabriel: This is a waste of time-
Harold: 2, as a weather pattern you see yourself as the sun, shining down like Gods benevolence on mankind, or sometimes searing them with his fury. And 3, you HAVE been in love, oh yes-
Gabriel: ENOUGH, Sin Eater. LEAVE NOW, or face judgment.
Harold: I know all the answers, Gabriel, and I will not forget.
Gabriel: Neither will I, SIN Eater.
It's a quiet sunny day in England. There is a light breeze blowing the scent of flowers around the garden. A young lady in her early 20's is laying under a giant maple tree.
“Excuse me.”
The young lady opens her eyes and looks around.
“Excuse me.”
“Who is there?” the young lady asks.
“Oh. Sorry. I'm the tree you are leaning on.”
“Oh!” The young lady sits up and turns towards the tree. “May I help you with something?”
“Well I noticed that you are living here and I was wanting to know a bit more about you. Do you mind answering some questions?”
“Well…I suppose. Ask away.”
What is your name?
Elizabeth Amalia Love, but everyone calls me Sissy.
What was your childhood like?
Oh I was born in the US. My parents were well off, so we didn't stay in one place. They had several homes all over the world. All the hot spots, Cancun, Switzerland, Austria, and such. I grow up being shuffled from one place to another. I think maybe that's why I became so shy. My parents were very loving. They spent quite a bit of time with me compared to other rich kids. Mom was from American Indian descent and Dad was Irish. I wasn't taught those traditions though. My parents didn't believe in those traditions. I don't even really think they believed in any religion. Grade school was kinda fun, I guess. I didn't really fit in much with the other kids. They were always talking about the latest fashions. I really could care less. I was the one who was always bring in critters to take care of. My parents got called in several times because I'd have critters nesting in my desk. They finally got me to stop keeping animals in my desk at school when they told me I could bring them home. I think they regretted that deal. It was High school that really sucked for me. The whole “Coming to Age” thing sucked. My Mom wanted this elaborate party. I was very against it. In the end she got what she wanted and I had one of the worst nights of my life. The dress was bad enough, but the people she invited I wanted to choke. I guess in hindsight it was a good thing I gave in. How was I supposed to know my time with them was short.
It was my Junior year… I was in 2 period staring out the window watching it snow. The teacher was rambling on about some war a long time ago. I was thinking about a mouse that I just nursed back to health, when the teacher called my name. I looked up to see the Principal at the door of the classroom. I gathered my stuff up and followed him to his office. He sat me down and shut the door. He didn't speak a word to me and I didn't know what was going on. I figured that I was there do to the scratching in my locker. We sat there for what seemed an eternity. Finally my parents lawyer, Mr. Goren came in and sat down next to me. He looked at me and…he…informed me that my parents were dead. Killed in a car crash. I don't remember what happened the rest of the day. I really became withdrawn then.
If you were a weather pattern or meteoric phenomenon, what would you be? Why?
I am rain. I can be life giving and I can be killing.
What is(are) your most prized possession(s)? What makes it(them) so special?
My Knife and My medicine bag. My medicine bag came from my Grandfather. My Knife is just that bad-ass.
Do you know any songs? What kind? How did you learn them?
I learned a lot of 20's songs. Mother was big into music. She was always singing something.
Have you ever been in love? With who? What happened? If not, why not?
(Blushes) Yes, I am in love right now. His name is Guy Pierce. I met him in a haunted house. He is a Mercenary. You've probably seen him around.
“Oh yes. Nice man”
If you were going somewhere special that you wanted to look your best for, what would you do to prepare? What would you wear? How long would it take you to get ready?
Oh Lord. Well I suppose I'd go to London and pick out a lovely dress. I know it would take me forever to get ready. I'm just not used to dressing up. I'd probably book appointment at several beauty shops too.
What will you do for next birthday?
I don't know. Haven't really thought about it.
What are your worst fears? Why?
I'm not as shy as I used to be, but I still don't like crowds or meeting new people. I feel like I'm drowning when there is too many people around. And I guess I'm still a little sensitive about what people will think of my love of animals and plants. I'm also now cautious of who might find out about what I can do.
My biggest fear is enclosed spaces. “Shudders” Even the thought of it gives me the willies. I don't like basements, closets, and tunnels really suck. It's ironic that I get shoved in those kind of places all the time now too. It stems from my childhood. I got buried in a closet once. Sounds kinda funny. I was playing in the closest and everything fell from the shelves above. The door was blocked shut and I was a small 6 year old who couldn't get out. Ever since, no tight places thanks.
Which historical figure do you look up to the most? Why?
Sacagawea. She was a fine scout and knew the earth well.
What would be your dream home?
My dream home is a tree house that spans many trees with most of modern day features. At least two bedrooms and an Eco friendly water system. Natural wood furniture that blends with the trees. Solar power heating and cooling and electricity. I want to be totally off the grid. Internet service of coarse and Satellite TV. Stairs and rope ladders to get up and down and also a rip line for fun.
If you had theme music, what would it sound like?
Dulaman. It's a nice Irish song.
Describe your ambition. What makes you want it so bad that you would risk your life for it?
Hmmm…Well I want to know more about my ancestors and not just the bloodline. I want to know the Blood. I need to feel connected to them. I am their heir to their power. I need to know so that I can pass it on. It cannot be lost. To many rely on science as the only way. They have forgotten where they came from and what was there before. I will not let it die! I am a protector of the earth. I need to know more to do my job. This has been passed down for generations. Many unfortunately have ignored their calling. I cannot let that happen.
Do the ends justify the means?
At this point in my life, they don't always. I do not want to hurt innocent people. People that have no Idea what is going on around them. I think that sometimes there will be sacrifices for the greater good. I do fear that one day I may have to make the choice; Is my ambition going to become all consuming Or will I be able to still make that distinction.
As you grow, how do you think your Ambition will evolve?
I think that as I get more powerful I will want to tackle bigger problems. As an example, I was recently able to 'convince' Walmart not to build a store in my area. (grins) Perhaps I can convince them to stop building all together. Why that would be wonderful. Perhaps I can 'convince' others to leave the wilderness alone in other areas of the world too.
If you could meet any fictional character (TV, books, comics, etc.) which one would you choose?
I'd be a female version of the Swamp Fox. He hid in the swamps and fought his enemy with hit and run tactics. He was very effective too.
Chocolate or vanilla?
Chocolate. It's more daring.
How do you feel about spirituality? Are you religious? What do you believe?
How do I feel about spirituality? That's kinda of a dumb question. I commune with the spirits of my ancestors and with the earth. I talk with the trees and the animals. I speak with the wind and the flame. (laughs) No, I'm not very spiritual, not at all. I was actually raised Catholic. I guess I retain some of that still. I do believe in God. I don't to church anymore. I feel that it's not necessary God is everywhere. I also know that there is more to this world than just what they teach you in Sunday school. I speak with things that most religions would tell you that they don't exist. I guess I'm not religious in the correct definition.
What could inspire you to dance? How would you describe your style?
I dance quite a bit when I'm alone in the woods. I sing and dance to the trees. I'm dance to the flow of the music. No style. Of coarse I don't dance like that in front of people. I was taught ballroom dancing. I must admit that I love dancing and it doesn't take much to get me to start. A good song will do it. I have been trying to teach Guy some steps. He's catching on slowly. We do get a good laugh over our attempts to dance together. I haven't dragged him out in public yet. I don't want to embarrass him to much yet.
What would you consider selling your soul for? (Note that considering does not mean deciding!)
Sell my soul. It would have to be something so important that even death would not be enough.
What would your aura look like (if someone were to be able to see such a thing)?
I believe it is blue and green. I'll have to ask Mr. X again.
What do you try hardest to keep secret?
Myself. I don't like people to know what I can do. I try to always hold something back, just in case. I also don't want people to know where I live. I like to be alone.
Describe the other High Rollers that you have met.
Doc. Etherage: He is an interesting man. When I first met him he wanted to know how to get a hold of me and handed me his business card. I started to see that he did this with everyone he met. He seems to be slightly paranoid. I guess he asks everyone their contact information so that he has someone to call on if he gets into trouble. Excellent doctor. I've had to go to him to get cured before.
Winston Peck (Jake): I started with him in these little “adventures”. He's a really nice guy. Knows a lot about technology. (He was nice and flew out to fix my computer once) He is the founder of Peck Tech. We've been though a lot together. I know I can count on him in a fight. I'm afraid that we may one day become enemies. His disregard for nature has me very concerned. I hope I am wrong.
Rajhad: Now that is one creepy dude. I've only worked with him a few times. He gives me the willies. He is a tough man(?). He is definitely one who has no feelings for the weak. When he looks at me, I'm not sure if he sees me as a human or his next meal.
Tilly: I met her once. A little reserved, but nice enough. I'm not sure how she managed to swim all the way down to the sub and blow it up, but I'm glad she did. That water was cold.
Galen: He is into magic. Really flashy magic. I don't think he knows what the word subtlety is. He's nice guy who likes to play with bells. He is a gypsy I think. Very knowledgeable in the occult which has been handy.
Mr. X: Now there is a sly devil. I don't keep anything in my pockets when he is around. He saved my life once. I've saved his too. Very handy in a fight. That umbrella of his is deadly.
Slaughter: GI Joe to the extreme. Always assumes that he is in charge. Kinda cute. I think I scared him a bit when I shot that bus driver though.
The Scotsman: Now he is fun to work with. You never know what he will think of next. And that crazy looking eye of his, I don't want to know what he did to get that. Coarse the last time I saw him, he had lost a hand.
Corolino: Wow. Drug user extraordinaire, even carries a crap load on him. I don't know how he gets through customs. One hell of a fighter though.
Larent: He is all fists. I saw him hold of a horde of water zombie all by himself for hours. I mean wow.
Tonio: Yes I mean Tonio the superstar model and actor. He isn't afraid of anything. He really is awesome. Did you know he does all his own stunts? I got his autograph too. Even Guy was impressed with that. He really is as good looking in person as on screen.
The Beatles or Elvis? Why?
I don't like Elvis. His music wasn't all that and the outfits where tacky. Not big on the Beatles either. The music is better but just not my thing. Also Everyone l-o-v-e-s them. Not big on following the crowds.
What kind of things can make you angry? Why?
Needless destruction gets my blood boiling. People who don't give a rat's ass about destroying something. When they do it 'for fun', I want to shove a fire acorn down their throat. Oh and if trees are involved….look out! The wrath of Sissy is on them. Want to know what happens? Ask Walmart about the store they were trying to build near my forest in Oregon.
Hurting my friends. I don't have many and when someone or something hurts one I get angry. I also don't take to kindly being shot either.
How do feel about democracy as a form of government?
There is no such thing. It's a great theory, but it doesn't exist anywhere.
What is your favorite food? How often do you eat it?
Well my favorite food is a good steak. Corn fed beef wrapped in bacon. Yum. I don't eat it as often as I could. I do have to watch my weight.
What do you dream about? Why do you think you have those dreams?
I dream about my ancestors. I'm either in at a Pow-wow or in a glade speaking Celtic. I speak with them like they were alive. We speak about the villages, what needs to be done, who needs help. What I can do to help. I know their names, their voices, their faces. I dream these because of my connection to them. I have had a door opened to their world.
I also dream about men. I mean, I am a young women. Men sweeping me off my feet. Me rescuing them. And then there are the dreams about Guy. And no I will not go into details about those.
What is your beverage of choice?
I confess I love a glass of Pepsi. I also enjoy a good cup of tea. Sitting with a cup of tea is very relaxing.
Do you believe in aliens from outer space? Do you think they have come to Earth?
Yes there are aliens and I know they have come to Earth. I helped kill some. Got shot in the process too. If I find more, I will kill them.
Describe someone from your family in detail (and family doesn't end at blood). What did they look like? What were they good at? What was his or her personality like? How often did you see this person?
The only family I had is dead. I really don't like talking about them. I suppose I could tell you about my Grandfather. He was full blooded Cherokee with dark brown eyes and black hair. He has a kindly smile and speaks in a low tone. He wears two eagle feathers in his hair. Buckskin tunic and breaches with bead work down the sides. He was a good man. I don't know what he was good at, but he makes me smile.
Describe a typical Sunday morning.
Oh I get up early and feed the animals. I then get some breakfast. I sit out on the deck and watch the world turn. Soak up the sun and read a good book.
If you were an animal, what kind would you be?
I think I would be a fox. They are quick, agile and have good hearing. They sometimes like to play with their prey before killing it. They blend in well with their background too.
What are your political views?
I focus on the earth, the plants and the animals. If it doesn't involve those things, I'm really not that interested.
Describe the perfect room.
No room at all. The perfect space for me is a glade in the deep forest.
What are you attracts you? Do you have anyone "on your radar"?
Well I'm seeing Guy. He's handsome, caring and we have a lot in common. He has his missions and I have my adventures.
Where do you get your news? What topics are of interest to you?
I watch TV and surf the net. I keep a ear out for information on Indian affairs and on anything that might impact various forests.
Magic or science? Why?
Magic. It's what I do. We must not forget the old ways.
What is your sex life like?
(blushes) Um-mm…. it's good and leave it at that.
Define what is evil to you.
Evil is a relative term. I see the strong survive and the weak die all the time in the wild. Yet when we place the same terms to humans, it is all the sudden wrong for the weak to get killed off. I find it ironic. Though I do confess that I feel the same way. Hell I'm not perfect. I don't like it when bullies push weak people around. I do stand up for the under dog sometimes. However I do believe that anyone who tries to enforce their will on the unwilling is wrong and I will resist them. I Will stand up to anything that I perceive is wrong. But “evil”, is anything truly “evil”? Is anything truly “good”? I don't believe that there are absolutes in life. Nothing is that black and white.
What would you kill for? What would you die for?
I will kill to defend myself, to defend my friends, and those that I think are destroying my forests. I would die for them too.
Describe any enemies or vendettas you have made. Who do you think considers you an enemy?
I'm sure I have made some enemies. Who they are I'm really sure. I know that Walmart is my enemy, but I don't think that they know that yet. One must be careful when dealing with large corporations. Hit and Hide. When the time comes I will attack again, until then I will leave them alone.
Have you ever had a pet? What was it and how did you take care of it?
Pet? Try Pets. God only knows how many I've taken care of. Anything that needs a helping hand gets it. Even now I bring home critters. I think that they think I'm Dr.Dolittle.
Where does your money come from? Where does it go?
My parents left me a small fortune. I have it invested everywhere. I spend it mostly on pet supplies. I do own a nice chunk of land in OR near Corbet. I'm renting this place in England. I do confess that I do buy American Indian artifacts when the come up at auction or they are found on the black market. I do try to return them to the proper tribes, but sometimes that can be tricky.
What purpose do you think the "Games" serve? Who is behind them? Why did they choose you?
I think these Adventures are mostly for the entertainment of “higher” beings. As to who is behind them? Don't know. Never sat and thought about it. I've more important things to think about. Why was I chosen? Again, don't know.
If you were a vehicle, what kind would you be?
Stealth plane. Silent and deadly
Do you do drugs? What about caffeine, alcohol and other everyday medications?
I don't do drugs outside the occasional caffeine fix. Just not my style. I do drink once and awhile too. Sometimes a nice mixed drink is what is called for.
Everyone excels at something. What is your philosophy about the thing you are best at?
I was able to contact my Grandfather. He has taught me what I need to know.
What comforts you when you are feeling sick for an extended period?
Sunshine and trees. If I can see and feel those two things, life is good. Although Guy babying me is nice too.
How do you feel about other races?
They are there. If they wish me harm, they must be killed. If not, no problem.
How do you feel about your mother? Would you defend her honor?
My mother is dead. Enough said.
Describe the room where you sleep most often.
I sleep in a nice four post bed. There are large windows and the room is light and airy. The walls are blue. I have several plants in there as well, but not so many that it looks like a jungle.
Why?
Why not?
Part I. Clubs
1. What was your childhood like? (One paragraph each: (1)baby, (2)child, (3) teenager.)
Mi madre was just a girl herself when she found herself pregnant with me. Even though I don't remember the softness of her arms or the lilt of her voice, I feel her sadness in me, even though I was never meant to be little Solita's innocent nino. Sad for me also, I don't really know how much of the story I heard is what really happened; porsupuesto I would love to know where I really came from, but not every man gets his wish, no? I do know I was born in a shroud of lagrimas y sangre, tears and blood. Once, when I was living with this lil hyna in Juarez, she took me to go see this old bandejo— called himself Diablo— said she heard he was from Zacualta, the pueblo in Guatemala where I thought my mother was from. Diablo was a hard old vato, but he had the Zacualta look, all Indian angles and eyes, not some ugly cross-breed carrying a conqueror's blood. Diablo told me he was there when mama gave me life, beneath a sky of bright estrellas and a chill wind. He said she was small, even for a girl of 12, with eyes of the blackest night, and that she was called Solita. Said he found her by accident, hiding in the weeds by some mountain road, teeth clamped round a dried shard of cactus. Diablo also told me that she bled out as soon as I arrived, soaking the coarse montana scrub with her vida pura and breathing the name "Esteban" as she stroked my forehead for the first and only time, leaving a trace of her love, and her death, on me like the Virgin's blessing. Said he took me to the Jesuit mission in Zaculata as soon as he knew she was dead. Have to hand it to the hombre, he didn't pretend he'd cared. Said he was late to meet with some Narcos when he found Solita, and showed me the price he paid for his small act of charity. The Narcos cut his right thumb and ear off, and carved the holy cross into his brow, just cause he told them he was late on account of a babe and a priest.
Anyway, that's how the Jesuit missionaries in Zacualta ended up raising me. Mas despues, they told me that mi Solita was a whore, once I was old enough to know what that meant. Said she brought me to them cause she was cursed with sin and revered the native devils. Now I guess I know the depth of their own sins, but en estos dias, I felt like a kicked dog birthed by La Serpienta herself.
When I was a boy, I prayed like the other orphans, worked at the parish and said mis deberes de dios, but it never touched my eyes or my soul. Each day was dreadful. En esta tiempo, Zacualta was torn between the mission and the Narcos, because they were the only hombres with cash. No man or child was safe from that guerra de espirito, and the men of cloth were just as ruthless as the blood red Narcos. Of course, us Nuahalinos knew about the war for our souls. Our tongue was the oldest Mayan dialect, and our thoughts were just as far reaching. I spent many nights pretending time didn’t exist, thinking myself back and forth across the gulfs of eternity. I saw that the Narcos were going to win, because they knew this place, were birthed in blood and sorrow into these montanas. They were not here to conquer, but to augment this place. Comprendes? And so I knew the Hijos de Jesus were damned. Can’t tell you how such hatred felt, no recuerdo, but I am thinking it was better than anything I’ve felt.
I can thank those priests for the lessons, however. Early, I found out I had a quick mind and a strong body. Learned Ingles, and insisted that they teach me the Scriptures in the native lingua, K’iche Nuhuala . I was headstrong, sure, and caused them problems. Once, when I was nearly a man, they asked me to care for the mission's flock of sheep. Again, sangre and lagrimas, blood and tears. Every animal lay dead by day's end. It was a cruel and meaningless joke, I now know that, but at that time I thought it a chance to show them that their language meant nada to the people of Zacualta, who suffered so. The friar cursed me, told me I was hellspawn, and confined me to quarters for 3 months. It was then that I left for El Salvador to seek mi fortuna.
I went to Santa Ana, just south of the Guatemalan border. For a time, I had nothing and no one, just another 13 year old orphan on the streets of a strange city, short, ugly and hungry. Then un dia I met Felicidades. He was arguing with a gringo in the barrio where I slept. The pale man pulled his piece. Feliz laughed, spit in the American's face and said, "Si no tienes dinero, no tengo ayuda parati." Hombre put the barrel to Feliz's head and screamed something I never heard. I was already running, right up behind the gringo, my small knife in mis manos. Sliced his tendons straight through, bathed in his blood, laughing like the starving pup I was. Felicidades laughed with me, grabbed up the gun in one hand and then snatched me up in the other, and gave me un abrazo I will never forget. For el primero tiempo en mi vida, I felt a brother's love, smeared in blood and delirious with joy. Feliz then told me, "Tengo trabajo parati, hermanito." That was how I joined Mara Salvatrucha Trienta, MS 13. We were diablos on golden wings, Narcos with righteous blood, killers with a true cause. I started as un cuidando for Feliz's crew, calling out dangers en los calles de Santa Ana and watching close the men who came for our wares. But I had a nimble mind, and a strong body, and it wasn't long before Felicidades asked me to come to Juarez with him. By the time I was 15, I was running across the border as a scout. I was blessed, porque I didn't look like a banger and I could speak the white devils' tongue like it was my own. From Los Angeles to Amarillo, mis hermanos knew I could keep a shipment safe better than any Salvatruch out there.
I was small and deadly, loved blades more than guns, and could hide under the rocks until my eyes or fangs found the enemy. I became Coralino, the Coral Snake.
2. If you were a weather pattern or meteoric phenomenon, what would you be? Why?
Ay, que malo, esta pregunta no tiene dientes. I suppose I would have to say I'm a tornado. Slight, focused, an unholy funnel of destruction. When the air is moving slowly, but with power, expect me. The heavens and earth cannot explain how I came to be, or what destruction I might bring conmigo. I am the inward turned wind. Fear me, should I ever touch ground near you.
3. What is(are) your most prized possession(s)? What makes it(them) so special?
Let me roll up my sleeve, gringo. Mira, you see the coral snakes, how they slither down my forearms? I suppose you see also that the red is not ink, but burns instead? Stripes of pain, when I failed to watch my back close enough. You know anything about the coralino, ese? As you Nortemericanos say, “Black and yellow, kill a fellow.” So you see, I got these stripes when a deal when wrong in Arizona. Got collared by a dead man who gave me these burns with red iron. Thought it was funny, too. I killed him un mes despues. That was when I learned I could kill anything, if I decided it was el tiempo por eso. I went to see mija Mercedes, she did real good ink in those days. She was the dragonlady of Juarez, didn’t fear nobody. Asked her to give me stripes of black and yellow between my burns, to show that I was Coralino, not just some pussy chicano with no venom, no bite. She gave me the snakeheads too, but until the day she died both me and Mercedes had no idea when she put those eyes and fangs on my wrists.
When they started to blot out pieces of my mind, those tattoos were the only thing that reminded me of myself. I am Coralino, because of them. Without them, I would be venom with no cause.
4. Do you know any songs? What kind? How did you learn them?
Santa Sangre plays music. No puedo eschuchame Black Sabbath. The Mother of Blood sings to me. She sounds like dozens of tones in the ear at the same time. Hornets of mortality. When you’re about to strike, the blood of killer and killed mingles, plays a symphony of anticipation and release that you can both hear.
I also know Chopin, Bach, Rachmaninov, Copeland.
Porque? No se. No recuerdo. Pienso que los gringos cambian el centro de mi mente.
5. Have you ever been in love? With who? What happened? If not, why not?
Claro que si. I never got to count the number of times I fell in love. I know the first one, and the last one. Primero, there was Gabriella, she was beautiful, dulce que leche, smooth as the moonlight. I met her when Feliz was my boss, and when I went up to Mexico I told her to stop waiting and wondering. She worried a lot, didn’t have family because none of them preoccupe nada and ended up dead one way or another. She Gabby, she worried a lot, cause she loved her life.
I am not sure, pero pienso que tengo un hijo by her. She sent me a message once, said that Gabriel was doing well, that he had my eyes. She might have been lying, but I don’t think so. That was what she always wanted, that and the ice we used together.
La Ultima? Mercedes. She gave me everything, and last I saw her, los gringos had turned her inside out because of me. I was up north, watching a big crossing, and la policia came. Mi cholo Gratis, he stayed in the same casa, told me he was out in las calles late, and when he got back to the house there were DEA trucks outside, pale men shouting and banging around our place. Gratis got out, told me what happened, and I came racing back to Juarez. I remember trying to hold her when I found her dead, hanging like a butchered pig, in our little spot. I grasped onto her shredded cuerpo and wept, I remember feeling so weak. She felt slimy, so many embraces from every side, so much stink. Las lagrimas sent me north, to seek the men who did this to my lady of ink. She gave me everything. I gave myself to revenge and murder after that day.
6. If you were going somewhere special that you wanted to look your best for, what would you do to prepare? What would you wear? How long would it take you to get ready?
I would get a new hat, pure yellow straw to reflect the sun. Maybe brush the tangles out of my moustache. I’d take a shower. Take a few spikes of La Pura, just to be safe. It wouldn’t take more than an hour or two. I would sharpen my kukri, por supesto, and that might make it tres horas. Of course, I’d try to get there early, so take a look around before going inside.
7. What will you do for next birthday?
No puedo recordar la fecha cuando tome vida. Since I don’t know when I took life into my hands, I cannot tell you about how I will celebrate los cumplianos. Years will pass, but until I know exactly what they did to me, it won’t mean much. But if I wanted to celebrate, I’d look up X and El Doctor. I like them, as much as I like anyone. Would see if I could get them to spike with me, or at least take a noseful or two. Claro que Etheridge would say no, but X is a bold hombre and I’d love to see him move mas rapido con La Pura.
8. What are your worst fears? Why? (Min. three paragraphs.)
Para empieza, I fear the Mother of Blood, mi Santa Sangre. She holds the keys to every door, but her bloody grin splits wider than mine ever could. The idea of failing her, of not comprehending the path she’s laid out for me, turns my heart to stone, my sweat to icy needles. To serve is to love, but to love is to fear, no?
I never want to be caged again. The lights were so bright, the pulsing pain behind my temples shot the flavor of blood into my throat. I remember waking up in that hole once. Mis ojos, nariz y dedos estaba cubierno con sangre. The gringos laughed when I cried out, voices echoing high above my head. I didn’t understand why they were laughing, until I realized the mistake my fingers had made, and tried to climb those smooth walls, spitting my own blood up at them, clawing against their cruelty rather than my own flesh. They kept shouting between barks of laughter, “He tried to take his face off!” I never got out of that hole on my own, though I stained it brown with mis esfuerzas. Nunca quiero revuelvo alli.
I also hate cops. No tengo miedo de esos, but hate and fear are almost the same thing, so it’s a good guess I suppose. They are men with guns, but no courage, and are just as evil as other men who wield pain.
9. Which historical figure do you look up to the most? Why?
James K. Polk. He was el jefe en los Estados when Mexico lost half of itself in a single year. The conquerors weren’t expecting to be overrun, and pretended that these Americanos had nothing. Zachary Taylor was un zorro tambien, a fox who thieved them of the land they had no right to defend. Together, they took apart the mystery of the Spaniards’ conquest, and set the stage for their own nation to be ravaged by the worst de las guerras civiles.
10. When would you decide to retire? Where would you settle down at? What would you do?
I will not stop. Mis duermas estan pintado con sangre. My nights are the hue of blood. Of course, if I were Solita’s Esteban, I would want no more than a small house in a smaller pueblo, some burros y gallinas. I’d have a woman with eyes like ripe corn, and with hair black as midnight. I’d have ninos y ninas, and grow stooped by the years. But it’s not so.
I will stop after I do what She wants me to do. Claro que no comprendo eso, but I will follow her either way.
11. If you had theme music, what would it sound like?
You know Antonio Banderas? Yes? Of course you do. It would be like his theme music, but with softer footsteps. Something that makes you think of the dry montanas of Mexico con guitarras rapidas. No Mariachi shit here, I’m no fat, lazy barbecue chicano.
12. Describe your ambition. What makes you want it so bad that you would risk your life for it? (Min. three paragraphs)
I exist because Madre Sangre came to me in that hole, showed me that even though the gringos damaged my mind, they didn’t destroy my soul. Now that soul belongs to Santa Mia, but I know not what she wants me to do in this world. I spill blood because it is the most natural thing to do, there are rivers of it everywhere I turn, and it gives me strength and vitality to kill men who do not deserve to live. I know the Mother has a plan for me, and I must discover how to serve her best. Cada tiempo que lucho con mis enemigos, she is standing over my shoulder, has guided me to the fight, and wants me to win because I am one of her champions. Someday, she wants me to be a leader of men, I believe. Today is not the right time, and I am not a man who wishes to take command, but every step of my life has put me at odds with powerful, corrupt enemies. Hombres who some would call evil. It’s strange that I might be evil, too, but I battle the dark more effectively than the priests of that whore-church in Rome. What Santa Sangre wishes, I think, is first for these men to bleed until the earth is red with the consequences of their sins. I will fight for this one thing until my breath stops, and after that if I need to. Men such as these almost destroyed me, took away the lives of those I used to be able to care for. After that, I cannot guess what the Madre has planned for the meek. No pienso que it’s going to end in sweet songs for them, because they would rather never bleed, and forget that they are alive. When the mighty fall, the small will not inherit the bloody earth. They must be led, or taught, or welded into new shapes. Or else destroyed. Someday, I hope the Mother prevails, and I can serve her in this new purpose.
13. Do the ends justify the means?
Claro que si. It’s important to remember though, that the means usually make the ends clear. There is little that the human mind can predict, and the boots we wear on the path usually decide where the journey ends, comprende? I simply perform the means to my Lady’s ends, and trust in her that those ends are right. Since I know they are, my actions are not eclipsed by doubt. This doesn’t mean I don’t think about them, give everything of myself to my actions. I simply do not worry that they will result in something other than exactly what is supposed to be.
“Zane.”
“Yes, Sifu?”
“I have some questions I must ask you. They will help me structure my lessons for you.”
“Very well, Sifu.”
1. What was your childhood like? (One paragraph each: (1)baby, (2)child, (3) teenager.)
As a baby? I don't truly remember much, of course. But I was active, even then. I enjoyed movement, I loved running. It came as a great blow to me, when I lost my sight. But before that, I was much like any child, though perhaps a touch aggressive. I played outdoors a great deal, with Bobby. We got into a lot of trouble, but we had a lot of fun doing it. We didn't get punished for it very often though, Auntie always covered for us when she could.
As a child, my life became fairly difficult. I had gone from being an active, sighted child to being a blind one. I couldn't do any of the things I loved, I couldn't even fill the time with reading, or watching television. It never truly strikes you just how reliant we are on sight until we are without it. Bobby, I owe him more than I can ever repay. He and Auntie were both there for me, and both of them did everything they could to help me adjust. Auntie even taught me how to read Braille, which must have been hugely difficult for her, since she had never needed to know it.
As a teenager, it was still difficult. Most people, when they see a blind person, they have a tendency to look away, to try very hard to not know you are there. Can you imagine how difficult it was for me to form any sort of social life, when absolutely no one around me wanted to acknowledge my existence? Is it any wonder that I turned my thoughts and efforts towards finding ways to overcome this…limitation? It didn't help that I was constantly a target for bullies, because a blind man cannot defend himself at all. Bobby got hurt more often than not, for my sake. That helped a lot. And then we both began taking classes for self defense, Bobby to protect me, and myself to better move while blinded, but also to make it unnecessary for him to get hurt protecting me.
2. If you were a weather pattern or meteoric phenomenon, what would you be? Why?
I suppose I would be like the wind. I do not stay in one place too long, it is difficult to contain me. I can be soft, and gentle, but I can also lash out with surprising brutality. I've always been comfortable with the wind, anyways, if you know how to listen to it, it can tell you what is around you.
3. What is(are) your most prized possession(s)? What makes it(them) so special?
My gloves, of course. They were a gift from you, Sifu, upon learning the basics of blind combat. Of course, the hardest part was learning the forms, to be honest. Blind movement is something I am…quite familiar with, at this point.
4. Do you know any songs? What kind? How did you learn them?
A great number of them, and of all sorts. I learned them because music was the only form of entertainment I really had. Aside from sight, hearing is the next most commonly used sense, so I dove into music with an almost desperate interest.
5. Have you ever been in love? With who? What happened? If not, why not?
No. I have never had time for such things, and when I did have time, no one shared any interest in me.
6. If you were going somewhere special that you wanted to look your best for, what would you do to prepare? What would you wear? How long would it take you to get ready?
Hmm… It would depend on what the situation was. I would dress formally for whatever event I was to attend, shave, shower. Clean up, generally. I doubt it would take me much more than a half hour, unless I had to dress in some unusually complicated outfit. Or had an issue with my sash, again.
7. What will you do for next birthday?
I don't know, really. Age matters so little to me, save as a marker for how long I have lived. I suppose I'll treat myself to something richer than I usually eat. Probably not a cake though, I can't stand the icing they put on those things.
8. What are your worst fears? Why? (Min. three paragraphs.)
My worst fears… PISCES catching up with me is high upon that list. Judging from what Jim has said, and from the fact that they did not simply put a bomb in my head as they did with him, they had something… interesting in mind for me. More than that, they forced me into their service. I cannot abide that.
My senses failing me is another fear that is always present. To date, they have not, but I am constantly putting more effort and time into honing all my senses to further reduce their chances of failure. I cannot see, so I am utterly reliant on what I hear, smell, taste and feel. If I were to miss something… more than just my life would be at stake, most likely.
I also… don't like lakes, particularly. Not after the incident in the Severn Valley. Even if I rid myself of this…gut wrenching fear that strikes me whenever I so much as think of a lake, I think I will always be wary of such bodies of water. There are Things Man Was Not Meant to See, and that being was one of them.
9. Which historical figure do you look up to the most? Why?
Leonidas of Sparta. Not because of that silly movie, because in actual history he truly did lead a hopelessly outnumbered army against the Persian army, and triumphed through tactical knowledge. His army was only seven thousand strong, and faced off with an army that was many times that. They did not win, but in the face of incredible odds and certain defeat, they stood their ground and dealt a significant blow to the Persian army's numbers and morale through superior terrain and positioning.
10. When would you decide to retire? Where would you settle down at? What would you do?
Retire? From the Games? I do not think I can ever retire, save by dying. It is the only way I know of for me to overcome my limitations as rapidly as I have been. I probably won't stop until the Harbingers are unable to accelerate my growth any further.
11. If you had theme music, what would it sound like?
I don't really see the relevance of this, Sifu, but I think it would be something that changes between high energy beats and soft music. As much as I would like for it to be something thematic and compelling, it wouldn't be in immensely complex song.
12. Describe your ambition. What makes you want it so bad that you would risk your life for it? (Min. three paragraphs)
Limits. They are to be overcome. My eyes, my ears, my nose, my tongue, my skin, all of these things are subjected to limits. Through great efforts and training, they can be overcome, but there is still a human limit that cannot be overcome. A body can only handle so much speed, before the skin burns at contact with the air. It can only handle so much strength, before it shatters its own bones, so much knowledge before the mind burns out.
Prior to the Games, I had begun approaching several of these limits. My senses were so acute I could, somewhat, counteract my blindness. My body is near the human peak in strength and dexterity. My skills in the Martial Arts are nearly at the master level. People who witness me using these hard won skills said that I had nearly superhuman abilities. They focused on the superhuman part of that statement. I focused on the nearly.
The Games have given me a path to overcoming the human boundaries. I like to think that my comrades are grateful for my presence, there have been several instances wherein I have foiled ambushes because our enemies were out of sight, but I could still hear them, smell them. And I know that there is more to gain, from the Games. The Wren, Torres, these people showed me this. I know it every time I see one of the others doing something that is at or above the human peak of ability.
13. Do the ends justify the means?
Perhaps. If there is far more gained than is lost, then I feel that it does. Which makes it a matter of perspective, really. If one person feels that their gain is worth what is a great loss to others, then they will pursue it. For my part, I make peace with the fact that people will not agree with what I do to accomplish my goals, and move forward my own way regardless.
14. As you grow, how do you think your Ambition will evolve?
How will it grow? My ambition is to grow. With every new ability I gain, new facets, new paths are revealed to me to further my growth. As are new limitations, new boundaries preventing me from growing past a certain point.
15. If you could meet any fictional character (TV, books, comics, etc.) which one would you choose? Why?
Perhaps…that fellow in one of those new movies. Kick-Ass. He was a normal human. Still is, to be honest. But he chose to try to go beyond that framework to accomplish his goals. I respect that a great deal.
16. Chocolate or vanilla? Why?
Neither, I do not particularly care for sweets. They upset my body's equilibrium. I do not even sweeten my teas, most of the time. I just drink them plain. Sugar has a tendency to drown out the natural flavors of the tea, most of the time, anyways.
17. How do you feel about spirituality? Are you religious? What do you believe? (Min. three paragraphs)
I have some vague interest in spirituality. I am a Martial Artist, after all, and of a fairly high capacity. I have witnessed other Martial Artists utilize their spirits in combat, to enable them to move faster, to deliver more injury, to heal a little more quickly. So I would not mind pursuing such things at a later date, but for now, mastering my body is my first priority.
I am not particularly religious, however. My body, as I have said, is my first priority, as the greatest limitation that I have. Perhaps when I can see without eyes, I shall begin to investigate my beliefs more thoroughly. Perhaps it would bring me some peace. Perhaps it would help me deal with Adams' death.
My beliefs… I have said I do not pay too much heed to such things, as of yet, but I do believe that life has some sanctity to it. That I should save life where I can, and seek to do as little harm as possible. But I also believe, and have had burned into me by my experiences, that my enemies must die, because if they do not…
18. What could inspire you to dance? How would you describe your style?
To dance? Perhaps a lively song, with a few other people dancing alongside me. I imagine that my style would be a great deal like my footwork. The Martial Arts do have a certain grace and fluidity to them, after all.
19. What would you consider selling your soul for? (Note that considering does not mean deciding!)
There is nothing I would sell my soul for. Not even to accomplish greater mastery over my body. Because if I sold my soul for such things, then it was something I did not master and earn through my own efforts. Even more important, that would create a great deal more limitations and boundaries than it would remove, just ones that I hadn't gotten around to expanding yet.
20. What would your aura look like (if someone were to be able to see such a thing)?
Difficult to say, really, such things are ephemeral at best, and often times depend on the viewer's mental associations. Sifu has told me that my aura is tightly bound, but with soft wisps trailing out and exploring the world around me. He has also informed me that it has a touch of alignment with the wind, likely due to my constant association with it.
21. What do you try hardest to keep secret?
My weaknesses. For one, I do not like people being able to exploit such things, and for another, it would make me stand out if I had a great weakness, and then surpassed it unnaturally. Such things draw the attention of PISCES.
22. Provide a personal opinion on each of the High Rollers in your Region? Do you get along?
Jimmy Coleman. A good friend. I'll admit that my first impression of him was…less than favorable, what with the whole PISCES thing, but he has since more than redeemed himself. There is no one else I would rather have at my back in a fight.
Ackroyd. I don't know too much about him, he has been in the Games since before I have, but apparently stepped out for a time. He does have an interest in the Occult, which bears watching. I have had a few too many bad experiences with these things.
Quan Chi'. An odd fellow, to be sure. He seems so certain of his invincibility and so determined to help others, but he ends up a hair's breadth from death more often than not, which helps no one at all. I hope for his sake that he progresses past that, he does have potential, and he is a fellow martial artist.
Paladin. I have only been through one Game with this fellow. I only recall his name because it is such an odd one. He's another one that bears watching, Jim didn't have too many good things to say about him after that Game.
Simon. Likable fellow, always seems completely out of his element when I see him in a Game though. Probably has something to do with how he's is always muttering something along the lines of “I could talk down the pope, but running isn't my thing!”
Burke. I am at a loss on this one. I have no idea what he wants from the Games, he seems to have interest in releasing our stories, which worries me somewhat.
Bundy. He's a bad liar, but he's got a good heart. Saved Quan Chi' that one time, when the rest of us were more focused on running away.
The new guy. I didn't catch his name, I don't bother with names most of the time these days. People die around me too often for me to want to make any attachments to newcomers.
23. What kind of things can make you angry? Why? (Min. three paragraphs)
I am difficult to make angry. One of the lessons I truly took to heart was controlling my emotions. I have undergone such training that my very body is a lethal weapon. If I lose my temper at the wrong time, I could kill someone. It happened once, already. We failed that Game.
Of course, I can feel anger but still not act on it. That is what I took away from that lesson that day. It has served me quite well, and the little things don't bother me so much anymore. Of course, a lot of these things seem…trite, in comparison to what I have to deal with on a regular basis.
But things that can make me angry? Failing. Someone deliberately causing great harm to myself or the few people I hold in high regard. Someone mocking me for the flaws that I try so hard to overcome. There are a few little things that aggravate me as well, but those are the large things.
24. How do feel about democracy as a form of government?
I feel that it is fundamentally flawed. Primarily because they leave the choice in the hands of the masses, and the masses are unfortunately uneducated about a great many things that the government has to deal with. But also because the masses are easily swayed by what they like, rather than what they need. The candidate in question could have absolutely nothing going for him other than the fact that he is personable, and he would stand a good chance of getting elected.
25. What is your favorite food? How often do you eat it?
I am fond of cho mein, and I eat it whenever I am in a restaurant that serves it, which is not particularly often, sadly.
26. What do you dream about? Why do you think you have those dreams? (Min. three paragraphs)
Dream? I dream about my goals, and achieving them, though I know it is ultimately impossible. I dream of my sensorium being so acute that there is nothing else on earth capable of outdoing me. Of always knowing everything that is happening around me, so that I am never surprised.
I also dream of the death of PISCES, so I can walk around as myself again, enter large scale tournaments and be with my family and friends again. Maybe, once I am free to be myself, I might pursue romance. It is another thing that appears in my dreams, from time to time.
I think… I know I dream these things because they are things I truly want. I want PISCES to no longer be an issue for me. I want to be able to truly act as though I am not blind. I would also enjoy settling in one location for a long enough time to perhaps open up my own dojo, pass on some of my techniques. I wonder if I could teach other people to 'see' like I do?
27. What is your beverage of choice? Why?
Green Tea. It is a very healthy thing to drink, it hydrates you and provides a number of benefits besides. Failing that, water. Almost everything I eat or drink is designed towards maintaining my body optimally. I have reached that point where one needs to micromanage one's own body to maintain it properly.
28. Do you believe in aliens from outer space? Do you think they have come to Earth? Why?
I did not before, but after recent events, there is very little doubt in my mind. I do not know why they are here, I do not know what they want from us, or from our world. But I do know that they are hostile, at least in the cases I have seen, and that they do not particularly care for human life.
29. Describe someone from your family in detail (and family doesn't end at blood). What did they look like? What were they good at? What was his or her personality like? How often did you see this person?
My friend and almost brother, Bobby. When I was growing up, he was pretty much my only companion, both before and after I was blinded. He was every bit as energetic as I was, and his best trait was getting back up. He was loyal to a fault, and protected me from bullies while we were in school. Half of the reason I went into the martial arts was to learn to protect myself so he could stop getting hurt protecting me. I… don't see much of him anymore. Not since the Games.
30. Describe a typical Sunday morning.
Sundays I treat like any other day. I wake up early in the morning, make myself a pot of tea, and go through my morning routines. If I do not, then my body will begin to degrade, and while that may have been forgivable before, it could mean the difference between life or death in the Games. Not necessarily mine, either.
31. If you were an animal, what kind would you be? Why?
Perhaps a bat? They are not truly blind, but they navigate largely through sound, and are able to perform impressive feats as a result. Have you ever tried to catch an insect by sound alone? It is not easy for human ears. I might be able to do it now, but it strikes me as a waste of time to try.
32. What are your political views?
I do not care for politics. The only thing I care to know about any politician is whether or not they have society's best interests at heart. More often than not, the answer is no.
33. Describe the perfect room.
Large, clean, and silent with a bed in the corner. Plenty of space, nothing to fall on, and I can hear people coming. I don't like being surprised by people, and I'm very good at avoiding it. I can't count the number of times that I foiled one of Auntie's surprise parties, simply because I heard someone snicker or something.
34. What attracts you? Do you have anyone "on your radar"?
No, even if I had interest I would not pursue it, on account of PISCES.
35. Where do you get your news? What topics are of interest to you?
Up until recently, I got it through word of mouth. Quan Chi' recently purchased a laptop for me, which is designed for use by the blind. I use that most of the time these days. It is quite useful, for daily news. I even got extensive use out of it recently, when I had to get out of Europe.
36. Magic or science? Why?
Whichever works. I myself do not use either of them to any great effect, but I know some who do. Jim, for example, makes great use of explosives. Ackroyd I haven't seen much from, but one of these days, I feel that he will actually make use of his occult knowledge.
37. Is there anything that you are irrational about?
I do not like people mocking my blindness, but I will make fun of it myself all the time.
38. What is your sex life like?
Sparse. I do not have time to form relationships, nor would I want to draw the ire of PISCES upon anyone I might consider for relations.
39. Define what is evil to you. (Min. three paragraphs)
You aren't asking easy questions, are you? Evil is harm with intent to cause harm. Evil is a man killing another for no other reason than that he can. Evil is a nation slowly enslaving its people, using their safety as an excuse.
Evil, to me, is not a matter of action. It is a matter of intent. One can save a life, but still be committing an evil act, knowing that the life they saved would go on to do great harm. Such as Stalin, or perhaps Hitler. There is no absolute good or evil, no objective truth on right or wrong.
Most people do not agree, some things are simply wrong to them, regardless of the reason. I would encourage those people to think. Is it evil for a man to steal to have food to feed his family? Or is it evil for the society around him to allow that situation to exist in the first place? It is a difficult thing to define.
40. What would you kill for? What would you die for?
I would, and have killed to further my own growth according to my ambition. I do not intend to die, but if I were to die for something, I think I could be happy if I died knowing I had managed to accomplish something with my death that would have otherwise been impossible. Dying for a cause is a cheap way out, an easy way of saying 'look how dedicated I am' without actually showing that devotion.
41. Describe any enemies or vendettas you have made. Who do you think considers you an enemy? Provide some detailed plans about how you intend to "settle the score".
PISCES. I do not know if they consider me an enemy, or simply a fly to swat, but I know they are after me. I intend to help Jim destroy them. The sooner the better, but I must grow stronger first. They have threatened my family, subtly, not with due harm, but it is enough. I don't know their structure, or the location of their base, or any such thing, but I know enough that it is simply impossible to take them out completely. Organizations like this tend to go to ground and resurface as something else. With luck, Jim and I can take out the leadership, then 'convince' the next in line that as long as they don't mess around with us, we'll leave them be.
42. Have you ever had a pet? What was it and how did you take care of it?
No, I have not. It is difficult to look after a pet when you cannot see. I had given some consideration to getting a seeing-eye dog, but it never felt right.
43. Where does your money come from? Where does it go?
My money comes from small time tournaments and some side jobs. It all goes towards transportation to the Games. Perhaps I should request greater resources at some point in the future, or some aid from my allies on that front.
44. What purpose do you think the "Games" serve? Who is behind them? Why did they choose you?
Purpose? Only two possibilities come to mind. Helping the world survive its own failings, and giving those few with the potential to grow the chance to do so. I do not know who is behind them, I had thought our sponsors, the Harbingers, to be the limits of such. I would assume that I have been selected because I am one of those few with the potential to grow, or perhaps they wanted to see what a blind man could do if he was given abilities such as mine. I do not know, and I will not question them as to why, they could take offense.
45. If you were a vehicle, what kind would you be? Why?
I suppose I would be a sports car. I am quick to start and I'll accomplish my job with great efficiency, but I need proper maintenance to continue functioning optimally. The right fuel, the right lubricants, the best parts, all of these things are necessary to keep me functioning optimally.
46. Do you do drugs? Which ones? How often? What about caffeine, alcohol and other everyday medications? Why?
No, I do not do any drugs. They upset the equilibrium of my body. Caffeine is inescapable for anyone who drinks tea, but I try to keep the amount I drink low. Alcohol dehydrates me, and impairs my judgment for a short time, but long enough that I will not partake, even if it didn't have adverse affects.
47. Everyone excels at something. What is your philosophy about the thing you are best at?
Right now, my greatest ability is my ability to use senses that most other people do not hone. I look through the information that other people discard or do not notice, and I form my world view from there. Philosophically, I see the world in a way that others refuse to, and it is every bit as beautiful and terrifying as it would be if I still could see.
48. What comforts you when you are feeling sick for an extended period?
Bed rest, sleep, the proper foods. Things that make me healthy, and that my body burns cleanly and efficiently. Perhaps a cleansing tea, to remove some of the toxins that all human bodies produce.
49. How do you feel about other races?
Other races? Originally I would assume you meant like blacks, Chinese and the like, but after what I have seen and experienced, I know better. For the most part, I will adopt a 'wait and see' approach. As long as they do not threaten me, I do not intend to do them any harm.
50. How do you feel about your mother? Would you defend her honor?
My mother? She is the woman who gave me life, I love her. Of course I would defend her honor.
51. Describe the room where you sleep most often.
There is no room I sleep in most often. However the layout I am most familiar with is that of a hotel, a bed in the middle, cabinets off to the side, that sort of thing.
52. Why?
Is this meant to be a philosophical question? This is even more vague than some of the directions I am given upon being called for a Game.
Who am I? What have I become?
God, I don’t even know where I am. I think I’m dreaming but I can’t be sure. Maybe I’ve finally slipped over the edge. Maybe I’ve finally seen one too many horrors and my mind simply broke. All I can think about is how much has changed. It’s like I’m trapped in a room and the only way out is to solve a riddle.
Who am I? What have I become?
As I try to work the knot of memories and experiences into something more orderly, I hear the clicking patter of high heels at a brisk walk. A very attractive brunette enters the room and sits in a chair across from me. The room slowly shifts into focus and I begin to pick out details. The carpeting is richly textured but blandly colored, the walls look like a more expensive version of the DMV, and all of the furniture is plush, yet not worth notice. The only thing that stands out is the woman. She looks like a thirteen-year-old's fantasy of a naughty librarian, complete with sexy glasses and pumps.
She peers over a clipboard and says, “Mr. Coleman, do you know why you are here?”
“I’m really not sure.” The words are out of my lips before I have time to consider them.
“My employer wishes to see if you would make a suitable contractor. Are you ready to begin?”
“Yes,” again the words are out of my mouth before I consciously form them. I get the twisting feeling that I’m not able to lie. I try to get up, try to leave, but realize that I can’t move. I begin to panic, but even this is denied me and I gradually calm down. A sense of absolute calm comes over me.
“Yes,” I say again; “let’s get started.”
__
—1.“Let us Begin at the beginning. What was your childhood like? Begin with your infancy and continue through your teenage years.” Her voice is like some kind of sweet poison, seductive and toxic all at once. I try to resist but the questions demands answers and I feel them ripped out of me without any option of resistance or deceit. She asks, I answer.
Does anyone remember their infanthood? I suppose my earliest memories were of the brightly colored objects in my room. I distinctly remember the taste of the painted rail of my crib, but anything beyond that is blank.
Childhood itself was normal. Scary-normal. My parents could have been stunt doubles for the Cleavers. I suppose that the only difference was that I ended up as an only child instead of having one and a half siblings. I could share the handful of memories that stand out (taking apart the lawn mower to see how it worked, trying to jump over the Nelson twins on my BMX) but there really isn’t much from my childhood that stands out. Nothing that screams, “This is what you will become!”
My memories of high school are a bit sharper. I went a bit wild chasing girls and pulling stunts that should have gotten me killed. About the only classes that I managed better than a C were the hands-on courses; woodshop, small engines, things like that. Everything changed when Dad got sick. I tried to spend more time with him, but the time I spent alone only made me more wild. After school he convinced me to join the Army. It probably saved my life; unfortunately it also meant I’d be over a thousand miles away when he died.
—2. If you were a weather pattern or meteoric phenomenon, what would you be? Why?
I remember my first girlfriend loved it when it rained while the sun shined. She said it was like being kissed by angels. I wish that is what I would be, but of course it isn’t. I would be the dark clouds on the brink. Under the right circumstances these clouds would disperse and nothing would be amiss, but in the wrong wind, the wrong circumstances they, I, would sow absolute destruction.
—3. Tell me of your most prized possession. What makes it makes it so special?
Individual possessions don’t truly mean anything. I suppose my most precious possession is the Goodie Bag. It provides options, the power to choose. Power is ultimately choice, and choice is ultimately freedom. To have no power is to be a slave.
That’s what the bag means to me. It gives me the power to keep my allies alive, to render someone unconscious instead of dead, and it allows me to lay waste when I must. Yet, it is not a single possession, not a single thing. There have been many Bags and I have used and replaced the contents many times.
Sometimes the idea is more important than the thing itself
—4. Do you know any songs? What kind? How did you learn them?
Cadence. God, I’ve tried to forget all the crap they pumped into our heads at basic, but mostly I’ve tried to forget the cadence they had us sing when we marched. I have failed miserably. I still hear the marching songs half the time when slipping off to dream land.
—5. Have you ever been in love? With who? What happened? If not, why not?
Puppy love I guess. I had girlfriends in school and high school, but I don’t think I was ever truly in love. Hell, I’m not sure it even exists. I’d like to think so, but even if it does, I don’t think that I can ever risk indulging in it. Not since the change. Not since the enemies.
—6. If you were going somewhere special that you wanted to look your best for, what would you do to prepare? What would you wear? How long would it take you to get ready?
I can’t think of any truly conceivable event that I would dress up for. Perhaps a funeral. I’ve lost so many friends, so very many. If you go to honor the dead you have to look your best, and that means a custom-fitted double-breasted suit. I hate that the first thing to cross my mind is make sure that it is armored and conceals at least two weapons.
If it takes me a full ten minutes to be ready, something has gone very wrong.
—7. What will you do for next birthday?
Run. Hide. Plan.
Just like every other day.
—8. What are your worst fears? Why?
I’ve faced death so many times in my life that I can’t truly be afraid of the thought of it. Don’t misunderstand me, I don’t look forward to it and I don’t claim that when the real thing stares me in the face that I won’t be scared, but the thought of it? Please. After the seventh or eighth time you’ve been shot, fear takes a back seat to annoyance.
I suppose my greatest fear is to become a monster. Not a monster in flesh, hell I’ve been that for months, but a monster in soul. Someone that exists only to satiate his desires at the expense of others. Something mad and cruel. I’m afraid that I’m balanced on the precipice of madness and the slightest breeze will send me over.
I guess, I’m also afraid of losing the few friends I have left. Blink and Q top that list. I know it’ll happen, though; sooner or later these missions will kill us.
—9. Which historical figure do you look up to the most? Why?
Perhaps the founding fathers as a whole. They were pigheaded idealists that tried to change the world for the better, and more or less succeeded. On top of that they kicked Britain in its rotten teeth. That tickles me a bit.
—10. When would you decide to retire? Where would you settle down? What would you do?
Everyone thinks of retirement. Everyone plans for the day when they can do whatever they want and not have to worry about finances or social standing. Unfortunately, if I’m retired it means that I’m either dead or have lost all purpose. I spent the better part of my life living for adrenaline, but now I have a path. I will spend the rest of my life trying to, well, change the world for the better. Even if I stop indulging in these insane missions, I will not stop working until my coffin is nailed shut for the final time.
—11. If you had theme music, what would it sound like?
Ozzy’s “Crazy Train,” ACDC’s “Hell’s Bells,” Mettalica’s “Wherever I roam.” Take your pick.
—12. Describe your ambition. What makes you want it so bad that you would risk your life for it?
PISCES. My ambition is to destroy PISCES. It doesn’t end there, but that is the gist of it. I need to find a way not simply to remove those corrupt monsters from power, but to replace them with a system that does the job without becoming mass murderers. I need to find a way to keep power from corrupting those that stand against the night. I need to find a way to keep the guardians from becoming so calloused that life is immaterial compared to the mission.
The problem is that they serve a purpose. There is a great evil monster camping in their neck of the woods and they use that threat to justify their own personal brand of evil. I know that it is impossible to find a perfect solution but I also know that it is necessary to find a better one.
The question now is do I hunt the monster first or the monstrous organization. If I find a way to destroy the monster, PISCES will likely interfere. It is in a very real way their power source. Not only that, but they are much more concerned with destroying anything that is out of the ordinary than they are with finding a solution to the true issue. It would not surprise me in the least if they took steps to protect the very monster they claim to oppose.
—13. Do the ends justify the means?
Not an easy question. Had you asked me in my youth, I would have replied with the answer that my Bible school teacher had given me, “No.” Had you asked me a year ago I would answer with a half-jaded, “Of course.” Now, now I just don’t know. I think that you have to weigh any decision and be prepared to carry the burden of it. I would love to say that you can follow your conscience and never back down, but when that choice costs others their lives, is it still a moral choice? When does murdering someone to save the lives of others become acceptable? Do the ends justify the means?
A hero would say no.
I’m not a hero.
__
“Very good, Mr Coleman. We’re off to a good start, now I need you to relax even further and tell me everything. You want to tell me everything, don’t you?”
I try to resist the sluggishness that is seeping into my mind, but it just keeps coming. I almost feel drunk when my mouth opens of it’s own accord and answers, “Of course.”
__
—14. As you grow, how do you think your Ambition will evolve?
My ambition is so far beyond my reach that I don’t know if I will ever become powerful enough to even attempt it, let alone succeed. If, by some miracle, I am able to destroy and replace PISCES, I would likely look for other such institutions that need to be reformed, other corrupt and murderous organizations that destroy without conscience or hesitation.
—15. If you could meet any fictional character (TV, books, comics, etc.) which one would you choose? Why?
I’m starting to wonder about God. If I did meet him, could my sanity withstand the encounter? Probably not, but if you’re going to dream, dream big.
—16. Chocolate or vanilla? Why?
Neither. When I was a kid my father would take me to this ice cream stand that served a chocolate and vanilla swirl cone. We’d always go on warm summer days and it remains one of my favorite childhood memories; however, once you’ve seen a creature masquerade as an ice cream man so it can murder and eat children, it tends to spoil your appetite.
On top of that I don’t eat anymore.
At all.
—17. How do you feel about spirituality? Are you religious? What do you believe?
I pray whenever something goes horribly wrong, which means that I pray a lot. I’ve had dealings with priests but am not particularly religious. I’ve seen what absolute devotion can do to a mind. I’ll never be able to forget the madness in Jane’s eyes before her face exploded. True faith is not for me.
That said, I’d like to believe that there is a benevolent all powerful God watching out for us. It’d be nice to go to sleep at night confidant that there is a greater plan in place, confidant that a benevolent parent is watching over me.
I’d like to believe that…
But I don’t.
—18. What could inspire you to dance? How would you describe your style?
The only reason that I’ve ever danced in my life is because I was very drunk and with a girl that thought it’d be fun. I don’t drink anymore and I sure as hell don’t risk dating, so there isn’t a lot that could goad me onto the dance floor. Now the few times that I was too hammered to realize that it was a bad move? Well, my style consisted of balancing drunken lurching with drunken swaying that rarely coincided with the beat.
—19. What would you consider selling your soul for?
You don’t sell your soul. It just slips away, one bad decision at a time.
—20. What would your aura look like (if someone were to be able to see such a thing)?
What? How the hell would I know? Stained maybe. I’m far from perfect so it’s far from perfect. I wish I had a better answer for you, but all I know about the spooky side of life is when to start shooting.
—21. What do you try hardest to keep secret?
That I’m no longer human. No one knows. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep my condition a secret but I have to stay vigilant. If I relax my control at the wrong time, there will be no going back. One look at my new flesh and I’d be lucky to only be chased by a pitchfork wielding mob.
—22. Provide a personal opinion on each of the High Rollers in your Region. Do you get along?
If I had to choose one guy to rely on it’d be Blinky. He’s totally blind, but still the most reliable out of those I work with. Whenever I work with him I know that I can trust him implicitly. We’ve saved each others lives too many times for it to be any other way.
Quan Chi’ is a guy you never have to worry about stabbing you in the back. Several times he has had an insight or idea that has greatly assisted the crew in succeeding at our given tasks. He’s solid but suicidal. I don’t know what drives him to always place himself in harms way, but it never fails that his unnecessary heroics cost him in blood. I hate to say it, but if my little Asian companion doesn’t temper his martyr-ish impulses, his luck will run out.
I’ve only worked with Ackroyd twice, but he seemed to be on the level both times. I just hope my instincts are right about him. If he goes bad, he has the potential to kill all of us and a great deal more besides.
I don’t know if Burke qualifies as one of us. He’s a royal pain in the ass but useful as hell. He’s the guy you’re half tempted to put a bullet in, but always ends finding a way to be necessary.
There are a few others, but I haven’t worked with them enough to know if they’ll survive to merit my attention. I find it hard to consider anyone a friend these days. After what happened to Adams…
Well, growing fond of someone is plain stupid in a situation like this.
—23. What kind of things can make you angry? Why?
The death of innocence. Whether it’s intentional or collateral damage, this is probably the one thing that angers me more than any other. There is something about assaulting those that are incapable of defending their minds, let alone their bodies, that puts me into red mode.
Stupid, greedy destruction is a close second. The shear idiocy of people trampling the lives of others in a blind grab for power, when they don’t have any idea of what they intend to use the power to accomplish. It’s such a goddamn waste, and for what? So you can tell someone else what to do? So you can drive a bigger car?
In a nutshell, self-serving assholes. Those that are so fucking sure about their own right to rule or their own moral imperative that everyone else becomes expendable.
—24. How do feel about democracy as a form of government?
It’d be great if it worked.
—25. What is your favorite food? How often do you eat it?
It used to be lobster, now I don’t eat at all. I miss it, but the upside is that I don’t have to worry about getting fat or starving to death.
—26. What do you dream about? Why do you think you have those dreams?
I’ve never slept a great deal and when I do I don’t dream often. That’s not accurate. I used to not dream often, and when I did it was the usual nonsensical of people, situations, and noise.
These days are different. I still don’t sleep much but I dream often. Well, I have nightmares often. Lost friends and victims that I should have spared stumble through my head, accusing me without speaking. There are so many wasted lives, so many mistakes that I made. I long for the good old days when the worst I would get was the occasional bad movie monster.
Maybe that’s why I don’t sleep much. I’ve just grown tired of watching the same friends dying the same deaths and not being able to change it. It’s like my mind has become this endless loop of failures and I can’t find a way to get it to stop playing.
___
“Very good, Mr. Coleman. We are progressing faster than expected.”
She sets down the clipboard for a moment and leans forward. There’s something wrong with the way her eyes line up. It’s as if she was dazed or drugged. When she speaks, though, her words are as clear and precise as ever.
“Tell me, are you able to continue or would you like to stop?”
I know the answer is a trap, or maybe a joke, because I once again answer against my own volition.
“I want nothing more,” says Jimmy the puppet. What is happening here? I’ve never been this much of a push over. Why can’t I STOP her?!
She smiles, perhaps at my silent distress, then picks up the clipboard and continues.
__
—27. What is your beverage of choice? Why?
I don’t have one except when toasting old friends. Perhaps true German Jaegermeister or Old No. 7 to wish the departed peace.
—28. Do you believe in aliens from outer space? Do you think they have come to Earth? Why?
I’ve run across some things that were definitely alien. Alien in the sense that they were from another fucking planet. I’m pretty sure a great deal of the rest of the crap we butt heads with are alien as well, but more likely from a different dimension or something.
That said, half the crazy shit we fight could have fallen from the sky. It’s not like we have them fill out an employment record and background check before we kill them. Though, I’d be a little surprised if the werewolves weren’t homegrown. Werewolves in space just sounds too cheesy to be true.
—29. Describe someone from your family in detail (and family doesn't end at blood). What did they look like? What were they good at? What was his or her personality like? How often did you see this person?
My father was a very thin man and almost six inches shorter than I am. He had dark hair, blue eyes, and was very pale. For all that he wasn’t frail. He worked his entire career as a mechanic and was the most level-headed person that I have ever met. Even when I did the stupidest things, he never showed anger, only disappointment and resolve. He was probably the best man I’ve ever known. I wish that I was more like him.
—30. Describe a typical Sunday morning.
My life is so unpredictable that I can’t remember typical, let alone describe it. There are some ingrained similarities. I usually wake up in a strange bed in a strange place. I move around so much that it can be disorienting for the first few moments.
The first thing I do is to dial up the message boxes we use to communicate. From there I check my surroundings to insure that they haven’t been tampered with in any way, then I turn my attention to my gear. Maintenance is key if you intend to survive and I have a lot to maintain. I start with cleaning and reloading the guns one at a time so as to not be caught with less than two fully loaded. Ever. When satisfied that they are in perfect working order, I turn my attention to my Bag. It’s vital, not only that everything is in perfect condition, but also perfect order. You don’t want to fumble a timed charge into the bomb when you intended it to be remote detonated. The devil is in the details, and he is a merciless bastard.
From there I turn my attention to whatever tasks I have to occupy myself. These can range from fleshing out escape plans, to designing new ways to improve my combat effectiveness. I read a lot. The subjects range from mechanics and engineering, to politics and strategy. Anything that I can find to give me an edge.
—31. If you were an animal, what kind would you be? Why?
This is another question that I wish I had a different answer for. I would love nothing more than to say something sleek like a lion or panther, but the god-honest truth is I’d be something more like an electric eel. A slippery, ugly beast with nasty surprises in store for anyone that is stupid enough to rouse it.
—32. What are your political views?
Mostly absent. I don’t believe there is any perfect system that can allow mankind to flourish, yet manage to curb our collective self destruction. At the end of the day, you need a governing body that shifts and changes to accommodate the necessities of the currant era.
—33. Describe the perfect room.
It is a vast, upright cylinder with a perforated floor and a glass ceiling suspended above slow, flesh-eating acid. It is engineered and warded so there can be no escape. Inside it are all the enemies I have ever had or will ever make. I stand on a platform above, next to a bright red button.
You can’t improve on perfection like that.
—34. What attracts you? Do you have anyone "on your radar"?
In the romantic sense? Not just no, but HELL NO. I cannot and will not risk passing on this curse. Not to mention the risk of exposing what I am. Even if I could have sex without risking infecting the girl, the main drive behind it all is reproduction. If I don’t have blood or even veins, how could I impregnate a woman?
—35. Where do you get your news? What topics are of interest to you?
I move around so much and am often in such shabby surroundings that the only consistent source of news is the internet. Please note that I didn’t call it reliable. You never know what bullshit will be printed over the truth. I try to look for anything that might indicate the involvement of PISCES. I know that second hand internet news sources are not going to tip me off on when their next assassin will arrive, but it has the potential to let me know when they are stirring.
Burke is another source of information. He is an untrustworthy little bastard but he does have ethics. As far as I know, every article he publishes is true except the minor tweaks to protect the names of those involved.
—36. Magic or science? Why?
Perhaps both. In many ways they aren’t that different. They can accomplish similar ends and I can’t help but imagine what wonders and horrors could be forged by combining them. Let’s be clear, when I’m talking about magic being useful I am not referring to the cult shit that Jane and Nematen were involved with. Crazy evil bastards.
—37. Is there anything that you are irrational about?
Right now? Probably about five or six things that are actual psychosis’s (I have no clue how to pluralize psychosis) but these are presents from the myriad monsters and demons that I’ve fought. The possessed knife that Murdock stuck me with gave me a revulsion to children. When I transformed I gained an ingrained terror of large dogs. Our latest trek to England came with a host of ticks and terrors that I’ve been meaning to see someone about. There just isn’t enough time.
—38. What is your sex life like?
Non-existent. When I was in the army it was fairly regular depending on where I ended up being deployed. Usually I blew my money on hookers and booze, but once in a while I’d run a cross a nice normal girl to be with. It all ended with the damn ritual I stumbled into. It scarred me so bad that a girl’d have to be blind to find me attractive. I had planned on getting surgery and a new face, but I was infected before that became plausible. Now, I don’t dare. It’d be too easy to infect someone else. Hell, all it took to turn me was to get some slime on my face.
—39. Define what is evil to you.
This is a stupid question. At least I think so. Yet every philosopher has written on it. Profuesly. The problem is that it is an incredibly easy thing to recognize. Even small children know when something truly bad is happening. But you can’t adequately describe it. The first entry in a dictionary is usually: “morally reprehensible”, but this doesn’t truly define evil. It doesn’t explain the rotting, sewage feeling that infects your guts when you witness something evil. It doesn’t describe the trauma that such an act leaves in its wake.
I’ve known people that described evil as anything that stems from true selfishness, but the how do you describe things like Nazis, Gulags, and eugenics. These were both things that stemmed from trying to help people, from trying to contribute to the greater good. There is no doubt that the adage of the road to Hell being paved with good intentions is at least partly true. However, it is clear that selfishness, while a cause of evil is not the sole root.
Like I said every philosopher has tried to pin this down, some with honest intentions others because they needed to rationalize their own evil actions. I suppose that evil is somehow tied to forced change. When you boil it all down there is only one true crime committed against others: theft. Every evil act is in some way the removal or destruction of someone else’s rightful “property”. It could be as simple as stolen food or as heinous as stealing a life by destroying the body.
Yet again words are not sufficient to describe the deed. Forced change is a good start to encapsulating the concept of evil, but what of forcing a drug addict to clean up by committing to rehab? I suppose the only way to really know is to check in with your gut and make sure that you re-evaluate your decisions. If you never stop asking, never stop trying to honestly look for the truth instead of hiding behind platitudes, perhaps then you won’t stray too far.
__
“Well, well. I’m not sure how my employer will feel about the last part. Are you about ready to finish this up, Mr. Coleman?”
I know that there is something that I should be doing. Fighting? Resisting? Eating? I know it’s there but I can’t remember. I barely notice when my mouth slips open and says, “Yes.”
_
—40. What would you kill for? What would you die for?
I’ve killed for a variety of reasons. Everything from self-defense to being caught up in the moment and not taking the time to look at my options. Those are the ones that I will never stop regretting. I will never hesitate to put down a monster (either the human kind or the more literal sort) that is an ongoing threat to the lives of people around it. I do not care if they are currently immobilized or flying an attack helicopter, you have to stop the things that won’t stop themselves. I just hope that I never become so lost that someone has to come for me.
What would I die for? I have a short list of friends that I would give my life to protect. If I had to sacrifice myself to accomplish my greatest goal, the destruction and replacement of PISCES, I would. Beyond that there is little that I would willingly die for. I have and will continue to risk my life for others, but will also fight tooth and nail to stay alive.
—41. Describe any enemies or vendettas you have made. Who do you think considers you an enemy? Provide some detailed plans about how you intend to "settle the score".
God in Heaven have I made mistakes. In Vienna I murdered multiple policemen that had simply responded to the wrong call and rightfully invoked the wrath of their nation. I later joined a certain military organization, thinking that it was legitimate. When I realized that they were a pack of ruthless, sociopathic murderers that were completely unrestrained by law, I fled their ranks. They haven’t caught up to me yet, but they will. I plan on using these missions, these “Games” to build my power and find a way to destroy them.
I’ve recently come across a clue to their power; now all I have to do is find a way to remove something that is nigh invincible. Glaaki. Without that monster there is no reason for PISCES to exist. He, it, is the cancer that allows their terrible cure to inflict so much harm. If I can find a way to banish the single most powerful being that I have ever encountered, I will have taken the first step in destroying an organization that holds an entire nation under its boot. PISCES is huge and as evil as I know them to be, I hope that if they had the capability they would choose to destroy Glaaki. That means they either don’t know how or do, and choose not to.
It might be significant, but getting rid of that monster is only the first step. When, if, I can get rid of the monster, I will still have a giant corrupt organization to fight. I need more information. Not just to know my enemy but to push politicians into action and awaken people to the truth. I don’t expect these tactics to accomplish much more than prepare the masses for the destruction of their would-be protectors. I have so much to learn before I can take action. Who is ultimately in charge? How many must I kill? How many can I save? When I know enough to move against my enemy, will I have the resolve to destroy thousands of lives that form the organization? Will I balk? First things, first. I need to kill a god.
—42. Have you ever had a pet? What was it and how did you take care of it?
When I was a kid I had a dog named Optimus. He was a golden retriever and I took good care of him, well as good care as an eight year old can. He was fed and groomed. Played with and loved. Beyond that and few attempts at keeping goldfish, I had nothing in the way of pets.
—43. Where does your money come from? Where does it go?
I had worked odd jobs in demolitions and as a mercenary for a few months before I was indoctrinated in this current madness. I’ve found ways to invest my savings into tech and engineering stocks. The insight these “Games” provide has ended up supplying me with more money than I thought was possible to spend. Of course what I once thought possible has been radically modified within the past year.
—44. What purpose do you think the "Games" serve? Who is behind them? Why did they choose you?
So far all the missions that I have been sent on have been to destroy monsters and save lives. As far as who is ultimately in charge, I do not know and haven’t worried enough to ask. I don’t know why they select the people that they do, but I haven’t met a normal person yet. They attract or outright choose people that have broken pasts or strange motivations. If I ever arrive at a mission and find someone that claims normality I may shoot them on sight. You just can’t trust someone that tells such titanic lies.
—45. If you were a vehicle, what kind would you be? Why?
Another of these. I suppose I would be an SUV that had been highly modified with hidden weapons and devices. Beat up, rugged, reliable, and chock full of nasty surprises.
—46. Do you do drugs? Which ones? How often? What about caffeine, alcohol and other everyday medications? Why?
For my human lifetime, I sometimes drank and occasionally smoked. My only real addiction had been adrenaline. It’s the reason that I joined the military. It’s the reason that I ended up working on the army’s bomb squad, diffusing highly lethal devices. I solved most of that when I decided to destroy PISCES. You don’t need an excuse for the adrenal gland to go into overdrive when one of the largest and most lethal entities on the planet is hunting you.
Now there is a new drug that I’m addicted to, compliments of Mr. Smith. It helps keep me looking human. It is the only reason that I can function as anything more than a wandering beast. It isn’t just survival, it is my conduit to humanity.
—47. Everyone excels at something. What is your philosophy about the thing you are best at?
Life would be simpler if I was a gifted painter or had a talent for technology, but I’m best at blowing things up and killing people. I sometimes wonder what it’d be like to be stripped of my natural aptitudes. I know that my life would have been completely different and that I would very likely be a totally different person. Would I be ridden by loathing if I wasn’t able to fight? Would I become bitter and hateful, if I was forced to bow to those stronger than I? I think that as horrible as it is to be gifted at taking lives, it is ultimately how you employ the gifts bestowed on you that defines a person, not what the gifts are.
—48. What comforts you when you are feeling sick for an extended period?
The knowledge that I have work unfinished, so that I must recover. The memories of successes and the few lives that I’ve been able to spare. It isn’t much, but it is enough to get me through.
—49. How do you feel about other races?
Of people? Or do you mean monsters? I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the color of someone’s skin. Jesus, there are things out there eating children like they’re popcorn, why would I ever care more about a genetic tan than a person’s ethics and morality.
As far as monsters and other crazy shit, I haven’t met one yet that wasn’t trying to destroy someone’s life or sanity. If I ever do meet something that is genuinely not a threat, I may consider letting it live. Until then, I will answer violence in kind.
—50. How do you feel about your mother? Would you defend her honor?
Mom was a bit high strung and had no idea how to deal with a kid as gung-ho as I was growing up. For all that, she was a good soul and tried her best to keep me out of trouble, which I greatly resented at the time. If you want to know if I’d kill someone over a “Yo’ Momma” joke, probably not. It only takes one person to start a fight, so I’d oblige them if I couldn’t get them to back down. If you don’t believe me, I can tell you the tale of a small time drug dealer on an island in the middle of nowhere…
—51. Describe the room where you sleep most often.
I switch locations every month to stay ahead of those hunting me. I usually pick one surrounded by a large populace and in an area with a multitude of escape routes. The room itself doesn’t matter much. I try to have two exits, though one tends to be a window. I try to have several nasty surprises set up for unwanted guests, and I try to have it located in an out of the way boarding house or small motel.
—52. Why?
Because.
Asshole.
_
“I see. I’m afraid that we won’t be doing business with you. You simply don’t fit the employee profile.” With that the gorgeous woman walks to a door that I hadn’t noticed and began to step through. As she did the image of a beautiful professional flickered, and for the briefest of moments something vile stood in her place. It radiated loathing and jealousy in nearly physical waves. My entire being flinched away from it, trying desperately to find a way out.
And just as suddenly I woke up screaming.
Confined in a box.
In total darkness.
1.What was your childhood like? As a baby, child and teenager?
The baby question. I think I've heard that before. It stuck me odd then and now. I don't have any young memories, but I have seen pictures. Apparently I was a happy baby. Usually smiling. Oddly enough, I almost always was wrapped around one toy or another. Delighted by bright lights and loud noises. I guess that didn't change much.
I used to think that my childhood was normal, but the more I see of the world, the less I know what that is. I played outside a lot, and when I was inside I had more fun with taking things apart or trying to fix broken things than anything else. I liked tools a lot more than toys or people.
Teenage years. There's something I haven't thought about in a long time. It was another life. A completely different world. When you're a teenager, you suddenly think that you know exactly how the world works. And just like every other stupid kid, you are very, very wrong.
My father got cancer when I was in high school. That I remember most. But it's like remembering a picture someone showed you. That man isn't my father anymore. I'm no more related to his long dead flesh than I am to a cockroach. I'm something else now. All the old ties are severed.
2. If you were a weather pattern or meteoric phenomenon, what would you be? Why?
I always find it difficult to answer questions like that. To take them seriously at all. What would I be if … ? But I'll play along.
Not an easy question. You see storms exist solely to expend their energy. They get riled up, rain, thunder, hale. Fury and destruction. I can identify with that. That's how I used to see myself. But I've changed as well. Grown more precise, learned control.
How many storms select their victims. How many spare the innocent? The uninvolved? How many keep their destruction in check until it is needed, then apply it carefully?
None.
3. What is(are) your most prized possession(s)? What makes it(them) so special?
I really don't have anything that I can't lose. I don't travel light, quiet the opposite, but everything is replaceable. That said, I don't like doing it. I spend a lot of time taking care of my gear. Cleaning it. Modifying it. Looking for ways to improve it.
But if a piece gets destroyed, it doesn't hurt. There's no emotional attachment. All I have lost is a little time. Things are important they can save your life, but they don't matter.
4. Do you know any songs? What kind? How did you learn them?
No. Music is a distraction that I have little time for. Most people don't understand that, but the sensual pleasures have been denied me and I don't miss them. Eating, making love, enjoying music. None of these have meaning for me anymore. They're simply activities that I don't participate in.
5. Have you ever been in love? With who? What happened? If not, why not?
No. I dated some back when I was human. Long before shifting over to whatever I am now. I used to mourn my loss of humanity, but questions like this show me how bad I was at being human in the first place.
What person wouldn't want to fall in love? It never even occurred to me to try. Now it's too late. The desire isn't there. Nor the ability to trust. I'm told that's important.
6. If you were going somewhere special that you wanted to look your best for, what would you do to prepare? What would you wear? How long would it take you to get ready?
Somewhere special? The only place I visit that falls into that category is England. A very special place, indeed.
When I prepare for “special” these days, it's a preparation to go to war. I would dress in the best armor I could manufacture while decorating it with all the surprising little devices that I use to give myself an edge.
It doesn't look like much, but form follows function. I care nothing for appearances.
7. What will you do for next birthday?
Nothing I wouldn't do on any other day. I can't shake the feeling that I've gotten soft. That I've grown rusty. I can't afford weakness right not. Not with the world on the brink.
So, what will I do with my birthday? I doubt I'll even notice its passing.
8. What are your worst fears? Why? (Min. three paragraphs.)
I used to fear the loss of my humanity, but like most frightened anticipation, the transition wasn't as horrific as expected. Like virginity. Poof. Gone. Forgotten on life's twisting highway.
I used to fear for my friends, but they all died. At least one partially by my hand. I don't invest in friends anymore. They break too easy.
Where does that leave me? I used to be scared of becoming a monster. Then I became one in flesh and spirit. Now? Now, what do I fear? My only real fear is that I will leave this world without those who have murdered my friends and plagued my life having suffered for what they have done. I fear only that retribution is withheld. I fear failing in my greatest pursuit.
Revenge.
9. Which historical figure do you look up to the most? Why?
I'm not much of a student of history. I occasionally find it interesting, but am no academic. It'd be easy to associate myself with some great conqueror. Alexander the Great. Genghis Khan. Pure ego.
I'm not sure there are any historical figures that match my life. People stripped of their humanity and contorted into monsters. That isn't a historical tale. That's a common and uninteresting one. Almost every serial killer is that story. Almost every child abuser.
Not the best of company.
10. When would you decide to retire? Where would you settle down at? What would you do?
Probably find out what afterlife awaits me, if any. I can't imagine a set of circumstances that would invoke retirement. Humans retire because their bodies fail. But even with them, when they lack purpose, they die. Their bodies fail completely.
I have no idea if my flesh will betray me in old age, or if I am immortal. It doesn't matter. I have purpose. When that purpose is fulfilled, I will find another. Life is accomplishment. Retirement is failure.
11. If you had theme music, what would it sound like?
I don't have much time or interest in music or other forms of art. I've especially grown weary of the dreck constantly repainted and forced onto the radio. Perhaps something instrumental? Japanese drums. Heavy and foreboding…
12. Describe your ambition. What makes you want it so bad that you would risk your life for it? (Min. three paragraphs)
It always comes back to PISCES. A massive, ruthless organization that has plagued humanity for decades while dressing up as a protector. But I've learned their true face. The worms hiding behind the smiles.
Stanford claimed to have given us the opportunity to destroy them. Liar. Raslow fell for that trick, but we didn't. The horrific nuclear detonation murdered millions of lives. An abomination that outstripped my worst crimes. And did it stop PISCES?
Of course not. All that happened is they lost a few agents and went underground. They're hurt and licking their wounds but they aren't done. I'm still going to find them. Still going to kill them. They may be weaker now, but that doesn't mean the task is going to be any easier.
They're wily. And they know I'm coming.
13. Do the ends justify the means?
Yes. But that doesn't mean you use the worst means possible to reach the ends.
Part II. Diamonds
14. As you grow, how do you think your Ambition will evolve?
I'm not sure. I'm so close now. Close enough to taste it. I know that I can destroy the bastards.
But then what? If all goes well, well there are no shortage of other problems. “Miracle cures” designed to enslave humanity against the High Rollers. Alien invaders nesting beneath every major city. Great Old Ones awakening.
Probably another dozen apocalypses brewing that I have no idea about. So, when I manage to destroy PISCES and crush the last shan under my boot, I'll have plenty to keep me occupied.
15. If you could meet any fictional character (TV, books, comics, etc.) which one would you choose? Why?
Fictional character? None. I have enough problems with real people, I can't imagine the fallout of crossing roads with Batman or Sherlock Holmes or any other do-gooder. I sure as hell wouldn't want to meet their rivals either.
No. The real world is bad enough. I don't need my life complicated by the fictional ones.
16. Chocolate or vanilla? Why?
Back to eating. I try not to do it often, only when under cover. Then? Then I'd say chocolate. Vanilla is boring. Good chocolate has some depth. Has a darkness to it. Vanilla is too light, to pure. It just seems cartoonish in a way.
17. How do you feel about spirituality? Are you religious? What do you believe? (Min. three paragraphs)
What do I believe? Nothing much. Like so many other things, I just shunt the spiritual crap to the side. It gets in the way of work. I've got too much to deal with. Too many problems and enemies.
If God or Buddha or Jesus want to chat, they know where to find me. Otherwise, they can wait until I'm dead. Can't be all that far off.
As far as beliefs go, all I have to say is that the world is dying. It isn't going to be saved by prayer. Only actions. I intend to do what I can. God can thank me or damn later. But if we do save it. If God does exist and decides to pass judgment, at least I'll be able to look him in the eye.
Look him in the eye and ask “Where were you?”
18. What could inspire you to dance? How would you describe your style?
Nothing. Next question.
19. What would you consider selling your soul for? (Note that considering does not mean deciding!)
God. I doubt I even have one anymore. If some wheeler-dealer came along looking to buy it, he'd end up with the short end of the stick. The spiritual remains of one Jimmy Coleman, tattered and abused. Handle gently.
I doubt there's enough value to my left overs for anyone to offer me a transaction. It's like owning beaten up old car. The value to the owner is transportation. It's always going to outweigh the blue book on such a pile of shit.
20. What would your aura look like (if someone were to be able to see such a thing)?
I've never asked. Maybe I should get Frogard to take a look, or Hays with those special goggles he always offers other people to wear, but never wears himself. I'm not sure I want to know. Strong probably, but also damaged.
I've made a lot of mistakes. Killed and murdered a lot of people. I don't do that anymore. At least, not without a bit of thought. Still, the transformation away from human is probably the greatest influence on my aura.
21. What do you try hardest to keep secret?
It used to be that I wasn't human. These days? I try to keep what I'm capable of under wraps. Like any good High Roller, I know the end is on its way. Hard times are coming and the boys and girls that play the hard Games are getting nervous. People are starting to form alliances. Starting to form gangs.
Everyone that I trusted died a long time ago. My ability to trust died with them.
22. Provide a personal opinion on each of the High Rollers in your Region? Do you get along?
It's funny. I half remember answering questions like these before. The list then is so radically different than it is now.
Finch is no Ackroyd, but he does his best. He's solid. Which says something for a Mythos guy. Ackroyd was the same way, but besides those two, every Mythos caster I met was someone we had to drop. Drives 'em crazy.
I sometimes wonder if Finch came across Ackroyd's notes. Inherited some of his knowledge. Enough to keep from self destructing. The rest of the time I just wait for him to snap. It'll happen soon enough.
And it'll be a shame.
Luther, I can sort of relate to. If I understand it right, he was human when he started the Games, like I was. Got tripped up and turned into some gay-pride colored plant. Seems solid, but I don't have a lot experience with him. Only things I know for sure is that he loves plants and hates Frogard.
Frogard is Frogard. I wish I had a better explanation than that. One of the most wanted terrorists on the planet and her idea of a disguise is coloring her hair.
Every so often she remembers that she's supposed to be useful and surprises us all.
And then there's the good senator. I don't think Hays has figured out who I am yet. Or maybe he just won't admit it to himself. Granted the world doesn't know that the monstrous Jimmy Coleman is a monster in more ways than one, but a High Roller is a High Roller. He could find out if he tried hard enough.
Hays can hold his own in a fight, I'll give him that. And he is an excruciatingly thorough person. This has benefits and drawbacks. He will occasionally get a wild hair and we absolutely must drop everything to check it out.
Of course, the worst is the potential. He can make a few calls and rain down a lot of hellfire. Not exactly my favorite ally.
Of the others. Most I haven't seen in a long time and assume dead. Others I have managed to never meet. I'm assured that the guy known as Simon is still alive, but I get the feeling that he's avoiding me. Can't blame him. Unless he belongs to PISCES.
I'll have to ask Finch about that…
23. What kind of things can make you angry? Why? (Min. three paragraphs)
I'm past anger. It's like asking a burn victim what hurts. Everything. Everything hurts. Everything makes me angry. Everything. All the time.
I don't know what it's like anymore to not be angry. It seems like it'd feel cold without it. Like something was missing.
That said, I don't let it control me. If I did, I'd be just another rabid dog biting at anything that came near. Easy to spot. Easy to put down. As much as I hate it, I have to reign it in. Be smart. Be controlled. Be something more than just a monster.
A monster with a purpose, at the very least.
24. How do feel about democracy as a form of government?
It sucks. Like any other form of government, democracy is just a group of ignorant children avoiding solving problems or fighting over how to get their names in the history books. All the while, very bad things are headed their way. Walking brazenly up behind them, but the kids just keep squabbling. Just keep ignoring the real problems.
25. What is your favorite food? How often do you eat it?
Every so often I'll force myself to eat. I usually like to have some pudding, just to remind myself of Adams.
Poor Adams. The fool that gave his life to save mine. Sure, he was crazy, but I still owe him.
26. What do you dream about? Why do you think you have those dreams? (Min. three paragraphs)
I sleep more these days than I used to. I still have nightmares. Fire. Death. Failure. They don't bother me anymore.
They're the only places I get to visit old friends. Granted, they're not the best memories, but even the nasty ones are more company than I get in the waking world. Sometimes I dream of Romans or Faulker. Sometimes I'll catch a glimpse of Zane, before he went mad. Those are the good ones.
The bad ones are Carcosa. The King in Rags and Tatters. The lost place that calls us all. Those are the bad ones. You never know if you're coming back from those.
Part III. Spades
27. What is your beverage of choice? Why?
Ugh. I don't drink much or often. The last time I had a drink it was the special at a very exclusive bar. That was surprisingly good.
28. Do you believe in aliens from outer space? Do you think they have come to Earth? Why?
I fought and killed aliens from outer space. I think they've come to Earth for the same reason everything else does. To have fun fucking with everything. Honestly there are times I think Earth is just some cosmic amusement park where evil shit shows up to torture the indigenous wildlife.
29. Describe someone from your family in detail (and family doesn't end at blood). What did they look like? What were they good at? What was his or her personality like? How often did you see this person?
I don't know where to begin. My mother perhaps? I don't even think of her like that anymore. The kinship is gone. That said, I don't have better candidates.
She was very tall, and not just for a woman. Almost 6'3”. She was pretty, but not beautiful, too thin, and less than fashionable. She was a good person though. Not perfect, but far better than I turned out to be.
30. Describe a typical Sunday morning.
Typical doesn't exist. I wake up if I wake up, I sleep the sleep of the dead if I don't. Assuming I'm not catatonic, I check my surroundings. I check my gear. I check my messages.
I mentally go over my plans and itinerary. This can range from introducing some contacts to each other to raiding a high tech facility or pulling some clandestine spy stuff. My life is a busy one.
31. If you were an animal, what kind would you be? Why?
Every heard of a Honey Badger?
32. What are your political views?
There's too much going on that governments of any type know how to handle. They aren't prepared, and the few that are are crazy. They'll take the coming difficulties as an opportunity to lash out against old enemies instead of doing the smart thing and banding together. Hard times are coming, and governments won't be able to help at all.
33. Describe the perfect room.
A perfect room is a room filled with doors. The doors open only for m and can take me anywhere. Any location I need, any knowledge I desire. That's what I want. A means to all of my ends.
34. What attracts you? Do you have anyone "on your radar"?
Violence. I suppose that I have advanced enough that I could pursue a relationship if I desired, but I don't. Every friendship I've cultivated has ended in disaster. Why would the intimate ones be exceptions?
35. Where do you get your news? What topics are of interest to you?
These days, mostly the internet, when the damn thing is functional. I still prefer old school newspapers though. That said, if you want to know what is really going on, you have to keep up with other Rollers. We're on the bleeding edge of world events. Quiet often we're the ones that end up bleeding.
36. Magic or science? Why?
I'm not much for either. I suppose my affinity for engineering puts me closer to the science camp, but there's a point where science ends and it's just all shrugged shoulders and guess work. Follow science or magic enough and you'll be looking at similar beasts.
37. Is there anything that you are irrational about?
I don't think so. I keep m word. Try to do no more harm than I have to. And I really, really want to end the organization that mass murdered my friends. I don't see that as irrational. Almost everything I do is devoted to those goals and preferences.
38. What is your sex life like?
There isn't one, but I have a nagging feeling that it could be very interesting. That if I truly wanted to, I could have children of a sort. I don't have the urge yet, but I do have the curiosity.
39. Define what is evil to you. (Min. three paragraphs)
I'm not sure that I'm the best choice to espouse on what is and isn't evil. Jesus I murdered thirty thousand people. Thirty thousand. Mothers and daughter. Fathers and sons. Thirty thousand.
That's an act of evil. Even if you can't define evil well, that counts. I don't see human beings as anything special and I find that abhorrent.
So what is evil? Well, I am. Though I'm certainly not all of it.
Part IV. Hearts
40. What would you kill for? What would you die for?
I would kill for beliefs. To finally lay my friends' murderers in the dirt. These things are worth killing for.
Dying? I don't know. I don't fear it but don't look for it, either. Dying happens to everyone. I just want to to happen to a few specific groups before it finds me.
41. Describe any enemies or vendettas you have made. Who do you think considers you an enemy? Provide some detailed plans about how you intend to "settle the score".
Well, I think I've mentioned PISCES enough for one day, as for settling their score, plans are in the works. I've found a few allies of late. We'll just have to see how badly things will go.
As for others, I've taken some steps against Pentex, but I doubt that I rank on their enemy roster. As far as they're concerned I'm just a foot soldier. A large group of Rollers are beginning to mobilize against them, and I will be present. If Rollers had more brain than venom, it'd be all of us.
And then there is a wide variety of creatures and cultists that I never got around to checking off the list of the living. We'll have to take some steps against them, but the big fish come first.
42. Have you ever had a pet? What was it and how did you take care of it?
Not in my adult life and certainly not in my latest incarnation. I have trouble caring. I have to fight just to pretend that I can care. A pet would simply be a liability.
43. Where does your money come from? Where does it go?
I slowly built it up with resources from the Games. Various investments that pay out a steady stream of cash. Pretty boring, really.
As to where it goes. Well, that's a bit more interesting. It goes to smugglers and arms dealers and bribes and all manner of equipment dealers. Money a handy shortcut.
44. What purpose do you think the "Games" serve? Who is behind them? Why did they choose you?
They're a twisted form of amusement. Some of the Harbingers use them to accomplish tasks, but mostly they're the near-god version of a gladiator pit. I've met a few Harbingers. Disappointed some. Entertained others. Doesn't matter.
As for choosing me. They chose me because I was desperate. Desperate and dying.
45. If you were a vehicle, what kind would you be? Why?
These days? A tank. Tough, ugly and well armed. About as subtle as an explosion, but surprisingly maneuverable.
46. Do you do drugs? Which ones? How often? What about caffeine, alcohol and other everyday medications? Why?
No.
47. Everyone excels at something. What is your philosophy about the thing you are best at?
Surviving. Surviving by any mans necessary. I'm the last of the class I started with. Everyone else died or went crazy and died. I have other skills. I'm good shot. I can blow things up. I tinker with machines. Ultimately though, staying alive is my greatest aptitude.
48. What comforts you when you are feeling sick for an extended period?
I don't get sick. I can't think of much that would comfort me.
49. How do you feel about other races?
I've come to realize that there aren't any differences in monsters and people. Humans are simply the most common breed of monster. I try not to judge -Who am I to throw stones?- but do so on an individual scale, not on a race or species one.
50. How do you feel about your mother? Would you defend her honor?
My mother isn't my mother anymore. I feel nothing really for her or my father. Or for people in general. Would I defend her honor? It depends, I suppose. But probably not.
51. Describe the room where you sleep most often.
No such room exists. I sleep on the bottom of rivers or buried under gravel. I sleep in cheap motels and in army barracks. I never stop moving long enough to be tracked.
52. Why?
I don't know. I truly don't.
Unto what purpose?
That's a question I ask myself a lot.
It fits whenever you try to make sense of a politician's argument or cut past a friend's actions and find out why they do what they do, why they say what they say. It's a good question. If you use it right, you can find tactics and strategies that you wouldn't otherwise consider. It allows you to take a mental step away from the idea or object you are focused on and see it in a larger scheme. Perhaps in a better light, or from a new angle.
Unto what purpose?
A powerful question. One that I am nervous to use against myself. One that may strengthen or destroy me. One that I will use anyway.
Why do I do it? Why do I keep coming back to this. To these Games, knowing now that they serve no great purpose. Knowing now that they are for the twisted entertainment of hidden gods. Knowing now that we High Rollers are nothing more than circus animals, dressed in garish colors and taught to perform stumbling dances while laughter roars from the darkness.
Yet like any clown, I stare into the mirror and put on my paint. I come back. Again and again.
Why?
In the beginning it was easy. I was dying. I needed a cure. And if there was no cure, I wanted to have as much fun before I kicked as I could.
The dying, I've never really talked about. It happened in some backwater in the mid-east that no one in their right mind would even know the name of, let alone remember once told. We were sent into defuse ordnance. Same as any other day. Except not.
We had a full team of course, Zeigal and Church were there, but I was lead. I had on the heavy suit far ahead of the other boys. The device I found was simple enough to disarm. Nothing really.
The room full of cultists I stumbled into, a little less easy to deal with. My first brush with magic was nasty. The cultists didn't make it. Rotting into dust in seconds. Just long enough for their screams burn into my brain. It wouldn't be the last death cry to sear my soul, nor the worst.
It took a while to realize that I hadn't made it out okay. That I was aging, fast and hard. I was able to get honorably discharged. No one knew what to do with me. The VA isn't exactly equipped to deal with curses.
Along comes a spider. A man dressed like a typical government MiB, but obviously much more than that. He offers me work. Work that pays in ways that no other job ever could.
I'm interested, to say the least.
I accept.
So began my career as a High Roller. Moving from mission to mission. Getting lost in the adrenalin and fire and death.
The tide of events moved so quickly that I find them difficult to decipher now. So many comrades in arms that I would have laid down my life for that I can barely remember now. In those early days, so many people thought I was the crazy one. Thought that I'd be the one to be pulled down by zombies, or gunned down by fanatics, or simply done in by a mistake. An explosive thrown a little too close or a trap triggered a little too soon.
Everyone that thought that died. Every last man I worked with in the early days fell away. I'm still here. The Goody Bag. Now there's a friend I miss. Of all that I have lost, I think that is the only friend that I am willing to attempt a resurrection. But that's neither here nor there.
I came to the Games not knowing that they were Games. Thinking that they were some attempt to rid the world of threats that normal people weren't equipped to do. I was, of course, wrong. But I was also wrong about the greater good and a great deal more.
I blindly murdered innocent people. Not because they deserved it. Not because their foolish and selfish actions could cause devastating effects. No. I murdered them because it was the easiest, most efficient way to win the Game.
Oh, winning was so important to me. Not even for the payment. Just because I took the challenge. Just to prove I could. Just to feed my adrenalin.
I never asked about removing the curse. It had been hinted at in the beginning that a cure might be possible. If I lasted ten Games. Ten Games.
People were falling left and right. Faulker was a rock. A rock that crumbled when pressed to hard. Romans was solid, until he evaporated. Never heard from or seen again. Gone like smoke in a hurricane.
The raid on Jane's mansion was one of the hairiest, nastiest messes I'd ever lived through and it didn't count. The nightmare in the McAlister building is what counted. Te swarm of toxic zombies hunting you through the jungle counted.
Ten Games. Minimum. Before a cure was even on the table. There was no way that I'd live to see it.
And I didn't. Not really.
I don't remember which Pacific island it ended up being. Another mad scientist experiment on ancient alien DNA. I suppose I could write a book on how many of these things I've cleaned up, but it'd really only need to be a pamphlet. Don't do it.
Anyway, our beloved sponsers introduced me to their idea of a cure. Infection. Indoctrination. Mutation.
And just like that, rapid aging wasn't my primary concern. The best part of it was that I had just reevaluated my life, goals, and morality. I realized what a monster I had become and dedicated myself to being a better human being.
Then my humanity was lost. I clung to the shreds of my humanity anyway, but it was like a kitten trying to hold onto a raft in storm. I just didn't have the strength.
I suppose that all of this is pussyfooting around the real reason. The real motivation that I go on Games. I think it's past time that I cut to the core of it all.
Anger.
That burning furnace in my gut that never went out. I can't remember when it was lit, but that anger, that hate, has never left. Keeping me warm on cold nights and feeding me purpose and power every step of the way. Everything changed when I left humanity behind. Everything but that.
The first Games, I ran through like a an adrenalin junkie. Not caring about consequences. Living solely for the thrill. Looking back, I can see it for what it was. A massive “Fuck you” to whatever gods had tried to steal my life from me. If I was cursed to burn half as long, then I was going to burn twice as fucking bright.
That anger is the core of it. The core of why I keep coming back. It is why I will destroy PISCES. It is why I will survive the death of this world. It is why I will claw my way up to the seat of Harbingers, vault over and tear the mask from the shadows hiding behind reality.
Unto what purpose?
Revenge.
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