A month ago I was a simple (if expert) performer looking to make a buck and improve my act. But then that changed. It all began with that foreign whore. She said there was work and it would pay well. I figured it would break the monotone of performing 6 times a day and anyway I could use the cash and maybe a ride … if you know what I mean. It turned out to be a really big chaw to chew on.
First, just as we were talking to the employer (or I guess that's what he was) this crazy bastard with rubber bullets crashes through the window and tries to kill us all. That went south really fast and the next thing I know I was fighting knee deep in snakes. Then the crazy bastard just out the window and gets him self killed; served him right really. I just decide to hoof it. It was way to weird for my taste. But then that creepy employer of ours forces me to come back; he messes with my mind! That's not how men deal with men! Anyway then he puts the crazy bastard back together except for his heart. He puts his heart in a box. Don't ask, I don't know!
Well at that point he tell us what he wants us to do and then up and disappears. The cowardly bastard. Then we spend the rest of that day and night hunting a damn mummy. It was like some horror action flick. It was actually really exciting. You really feel like a man when you are lighting a mummy on fire!
The whole experience inspired me. I'm going to master my whips, especially the glass one the cops always try to take from me. So I practiced hard for a month. I started working on some new stunts that also might be useful in a fight. It's coming easily. As if I'm somehow stronger or smarter than I was.
Then almost a month to the day from when the mummy hunt. I was doing my act and suddenly I'm falling. Like really falling, not just off the horse. It takes me a bit but I finally realize that this must be another one of those gigs or something. Well at least I didn't have to see that pussy creepy guy who employed my last time.
Well it turns out it was several of the same people I met last time. We seem to work OK together. Even though they are seriously weird folks. We spent something like a week living in the jungle of all things and getting hunted by these damn invisible gorillas. It was kinda awful actually. In the end I was suddenly right back in the middle of my act right where I was before I fell. Then of course I fell off the god damn horse. I really wish these gigs or whatever would be more convenient and would hurt less. The little Asian chick's healing things worked wonders, but I'm gonna have a big scar on my hip from this one. I really wonder what these adventures are all about.
But again it was exciting. Makes you feel like a man. I'm thinking I may need something a little more hard core than just broken glass, so I'm thinking about seeing if I can get a chainmail whip made. I know they exist. Also maybe I can put a razor wire fall on it. .. heh! .. The cops 'll like that!
I really wonder what is going on in this world. There is magic or something that is bigger than I am. But I get a real fight and some real practice with the whip that you cannot get any other way. So I'm not complaining so far. If this keeps going I'm gonna be the best whip cracker in the world in no time. And then I'll be better than anyone thinks is possible. It's like being in a comic book. I don't know what to think about it.